sparacus

The Wedding of Ben Chatham: Part 7

2012-02-10T12:30:00.001-08:00

OK folks, the plot thickens. Here is part 7 of this Doctor Who spin off series story:

"THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM" Part 7

Ben is taken to the remand prison and thrown roughly into a cell. One of the policemen spits a massive lump of flem at him and Ben just manages to duck in time so that it splats against the mouldy damp wall, which is covered in bloodstains. The policemen laugh and slam the cell door. Ben sees that Kyle, who has been beaten up again, is lying on a mouldy mattress in the corner. Ben goes over to him and cradles his head, offering him a Fox's Glacier Mint.
"Its ok Kyle, I'm going to get us out of here somehow. I just don't know how yet."

Meanwhile Katie Ryan arrived at Operation Delta HQ in an angry mood. She flounced into the meeting room where Corinne Shaw was pouring out coffees and slammed copies of the Sun, Mirror and Daily Mail onto the table:
"I take it that you lot haven't ¤¤¤¤ing heard. Ben's been arrested for murder!"
The others gazed at the lurid headlines and Keith Smith began to read out the Mail's lead story:

"Shamed OPeration Delta head Ben Chatham has been arrested for murder following what appears to be a sordid altercation with a gay lover. Chatham picked up the young man, named as Luke Hanson 22 from Hampstead, in Heaven nightclub, a notorious homosexual haunt. It was revealed this morning that police suspect Chatham of stabbing Luke to death as part of a twisted sado-masochistic sex session..........

"I think we've heard enough Keith!" Corinne firmly stated: "Ben will be devastated that the Mail has joined in this character assassination. Obviously the whole thing is an elaborate set up".
"Yeah but how the hell do we prove it?" Katie snapped. As she did so the door swung open and in bustled............

................Ian Levine!

"I came as soon as I could.. I must speak to you all immediately *waving a newspaper* this is all a set up and I can prove this fact".
"What the ¤¤¤¤ are you babbling on about?" Katie asked angrily. Shakey Jake took a drag on his cigarette:
"Hey babe chill ok? Let the guy speak". Ian Levine sat down panting:
"I used to work at 'Heaven' as a DJ and still have contacts there. I have been informed that Luke Hanson is an upmarket rent boy and that he has been boasting to all and sundry that he's landed a highly lucrative job that will set him up for life. One of the current DJs informed me that Hanson told him that he's planning to fly to LA this afternoon to start a new life."
"Hey man its a bit too bad that he's dead. Poor dude" Jake said mournfully. Katie scowled:
"You thick hippy ¤¤¤¤! Don't you get it? Its all a set up. This guy is probably still alive. We need to intercept him."
"Yeah babe like how? We don't know what airport or time". Ian Levine intervened:
"I can help with that. Hanson boasted that he was flying first class British Airways at 4 pm!"

That afternoon Katie, Paul, Corinne and Jake arrived at the airport. They all had copies of the Sun with Hanson's photo on the front page. Paul led the way to the check in terminal for flights to Los Angeles. They surrupticiously walked around the nearby shops keeping an eye on the passengers arriving. After what seemed like a lifetime Katie noticed a young man arrive. He had a hoodie on but as he looked around Katie had a clear view of his features:
"There he is!" She shouted. As they ran towards him, Hanson looked round in horror and bolted, running through the airport, knocking down a small child which wailed in pain. Paul and Katie kept pace with him and as Hanson turned a corner he ran headlong into a man, lost his footing and went flying. Paul grabbed him:
"You're coming with us and going public on how you helped set up Ben". Hanson looked terrified:
"Let go of me. They'll kill me. You don't know what you're dealing with". Suddenly a shot rang out and Paul seemed to feel the bullet whiz past them very close. Two armed men in business suits were running towards them:
"I think we'd all better run now" Paul shouted and they all took flight. The men carried on shooting as a party of American tourists walked in front of them. Two of the women were accidently shot, the blood splatting out over the grey polished floor. The team ran out of the airport and made for the car park, Paul holding on to Hanson's arm. They bundled him into the car and Katie drove off at speed. However as they did so a police car rounded a corner and drove straight at them on a collision course..................

....................to be continued.

"The Wedding of Ben Chatham" : Part 6

2012-01-27T12:03:00.000-08:00

OK people: your Sunday evening entertainment starts right here! Its the next part of this major story:

"THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM" Part 6

Inspired by Ian Levine's faith in him, Ben wakes up the following day determined to get to the bottom of the mystery and turn things around. He drives his vintage car out into the Cambridgeshire countryside as its a sunny morning and Ben finds country drives rejuvenating. Then he drives to Operation Delta HQ to meet with Paul and Corinne. In the meetings room, Ben sips a cup of exclusive Blue Ridge Columbian coffee and stares at Paul:
"Any news on the three cases we talked about?" he asks. Paul frowns:
"Not really. We've pretty much drawn a blank. I think we can assume that the Slitheen case is nothing to do with this. According to Jack Harkness the vengeful Slitheen that escaped did return to try and destroy Torchwood but was killed in Cardiff. And the corrupt scientist in prison, a Dr Herrigan, died there three months ago of a heart attack. As for this Lisa Baldwin woman, she seems to have vanished. The odd thing though is that she really has vanished, as if she never existed. There are no written records of her, no internet trail, facebook profile.... nothing. Are you sure you got the name right Ben?"
"Of course I'm damn well sure. You need to keep digging on this one. People don't just vanish in the modern world. What about her mobile phone details?"
"We contacted all the major providers and used Torchwood's authority to force them to come clean. Again a complete blank. We went through all the Lisa Baldwin's and none fit the profile you gave us". Ben frowns.
"I am now suspicious. You keep working on this while I engage with the other developing strands within my life".

Ben drove to the recording studios in Hammersmith with Corinne to meet with Katie, Shakey Jake and the producer Jonathan King. Entering the studio, Ben was pleased to see that work was starting on laying down backing tracks . Jake was playing a meandering guitar solo for 'Bleeding Love' while a session drummer named Loz had been hired as a temporary measure. Loz banged away behind Corinne who had grabbed her flute. Jonathan King bustled over:
"I'm so delighted to meet you dear boy *ruffles Ben's hair*. I've worked with the Doctor and he speaks very highly of you." Ben frowns:
"I expect you to mix the album so that my vocals stand out. I don't want the musicians to swamp me."
"Have no fear dear boy. I'm simply wild about your vocal potential." Jake comes over and offers Ben a massive spliff:
"Hey man I've laid down some really groovy licks man. Far out".
"This is a pop album Jake not some ghastly 1960s psychedelic type thing" Ben verbally ejaculates. Then he walks over to the mike and begins to sing 'Bleeding Love', followed by 'Good Morning Universe'. Everyone in the studio stands transfixed by the beauty and perfection of Ben's sublime vocals.

Later, Ben takes Emma Cole out to an exclusive restaurant in London. Everyone is dressed in formal dinner wear and the whole room is lit by candlelight. Ben sips an absinthe:
"Emma, you don't have to answer me tonight if you don't wish to. However I'd really like you to marry me, as you know." Emma takes hold of Ben's hand:
"Ben are you sure that you really want this? I'm not stupid you know. I'm aware of your past... not everything but I do know that you've dated guys as well as girls. Are you sure I'm what you want?"
"Of course I am. Please don't allude to any past behaviour. That was just a phase. I want marriage and a family and nothing else. And I want you to share that with me Emma." Emma laughs and a tear falls down her cheek.
"Then of course I'll marry you Ben!" They laugh and embrace.

Later Ben drives Emma to her hotel in London before returning to the recording studio to lay down vocals for "Life on Mars" and "Sebastian". When he finished it was nearly midnight and not wanting to waste an evening in London decided to go to 'Heaven' for a couple of hours. He failed to notice the two young men following him as he entered the club.....
After a few absinthes Ben was on the dancefloor, his exclusive white shirt bulging with his well-toned muscles. He spotted a dark-haired young guy in the distance staring at him and felt an instant attraction. The guy came over and they danced together to Rhianna for a while.
"Hi, I'm Luke".
"Hi Luke I'm Ben."
"You wanna come to my place tonight Ben".
"Yes. I want you to **** me and then **** ******* ***".
After more drinks Ben left with Luke and they made their way to Luke's exclusive penthouse apartment laughing. Inside the apartment, Luke stripped his clothes off revealing his well-toned body and poured a bottle of water over himself to cool down. Ben ripped his clothes off and they dived into bed.

Slowly Ben found himself returning to consciousness from the fog of sleep. His head throbbed and he stared at the unfamiliar surroundings. Slowly he remembered where he was. The bed felt wet and sticky, yet warm. Ben looked round and reeled in horror. Luke's body lay naked on the bed, covered in stab wounds. He felt something in his hand and lifed up.......... a knife. As he did so there was a bang on the door followed by a crash as the door flew open and the room bacame full of policemen. Two of them were armed:
"Don't move, don't move. Drop the knife. DROP IT NOW" one shouted. Ben threw the knife down.
"Benjamin Chatham. You are under arrest for murder!"

....................... to be continued.

"THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM" Part 5

2012-01-15T05:19:00.000-08:00

OK people: here is the gripping fifth part of this sci-fi mystery:

"THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM" Part 5

Later that day Ben returned to his Cambridge apartment brimming with excitement. He had drawn up an initial tracklist for the album and a few quick phone calls had ensured that work could begin at the studios the next day. However as Ben drove into his street he noticed something was wrong. A large group of youths were standing in the street hurling chunks of brick and other objects as the apartment windows as a line of riot police tried to hold them back .Ben drove down a side street and switched his mobile on. He had recieved several texts while driving which warned him not to go home. He immediately rang Katie:
"Katie what the hell is going on?" Katie sounded agitated:
"Ben why the hell has your phone been off? Have you seen the news?"
"I've been driving obviously. I am a highly responsible individual. Now that are you babbling about Katie?"
"This is really ¤¤¤¤ing serious Ben . The police have arrested Kyle again. Its all over the internet that he's the Cambridge Nightstalker!"
Ben remembered that several months ago four bodies of teenage girls had been found around Cambridge with their throats cut having been interfered with. It had been all over the media however the attention had started to die down. He quickly went onto the BBC news website on his cutting edge I -Phone:

NIGHTSTALKER NAMED

Police have today arrested a new suspect in the ongoing hunt for the so-called Cambridge Nightstalker, suspected of the murder of four teenagers. The suspect is Kyle Barry Scott who has been living in an exclusive penthouse apartment in Rushmere Street Cambridge. The detective leading the investigation, Steve Jackson, has gone on record as saying:
"Scott has been living with discredited self-appointed alien investigator Ben Chatham who has made every effort to harbour him. We have found material on several laptops siezed from the apartment in another investigation which link Scott to the killings. It is the worst visual evidence I have ever had to view in 25 years on the force......"

Ben throws down his phone in a shocked state as his car is surrounded by police officers. He hears the window smash on his right side then everything goes blank...............

The dim sense of perception slowly filtered into Ben's mind as he slowly drifted back into consciousness. He gradually focused on the familiar decor of Katie Ryan's flat and felt pain all over his chest and a stabbing sensation in his head. He realised he was lying on her leather sofa and saw Corinne Shaw, Paul Farraday and Katie herself.
"Whaaa What happened?" he mumbled. Katie knelt by him:
"The police beat you up and then drove you here and dumped you on the pavement outside."
"None of this.... It just doesn't make sense. Why not arrest me if they think I've been sheltering a killer?" Corinne approached:
"Ben what is going on here has to be more than just an attempt to destroy Operation Delta. Otherwise they could indeed have just charged you with being an accessory to murder and have done with it. Its like you are being played with. Whoever is behind this wants you to suffer in some drawn out process. And they've clearly got it in for Kyle bigtime. Can you think of any case that you and Kyle have personally led which might have given someone or something a desire for revenge?"
Ben stares angrily at her:
"What kind of a stupid question is that? I can think of an endless lot of cases like that. Where the hell do we start with this? I can't go on."
Ben sinks back in a despondent state and shuts his eyes. His body is shaking. Paul lights a cigarette and approaches:
"Ben you have to try and think. Whoever is behind this is capable of controlling enough people in power to allow the police to operate outside the law and to control the main media outlets. Try to give us something. Has any specific threat of vengeance been made against you and Kyle?" Ben opens his eyes again and tries to think back:
"A year or so ago there was that incident when we helped Torchwood unearth a Slitheen plot to infiltrate the Ministry of Defence. They were killed and one of them said before he died that the rest of his family would come and seek me out ....."
"Thats a start. Any more?"
"I remember Kyle and I being threatened by that corrupt scientist who was using technology from a Kronan warship that crashed in Scotland to try and create duplicates of himself and his family that were incapeable of aging. Torchwood destroyed the duplicates and he vowed revenge. But he's in prison."
"Hmmm. Plots can be hatched from prison. That it Ben?"
"I think so... apart from that business over Limetree Grange".
"Go on".
"We were investigating the disappearance of some children at a home in Oxfordshire. Some woman came to us claiming that the kids were being used in experiments to do with the military and that aliens were involved. We didn't take it seriously and when Kyle and I visited the place the kids seemed happy. She turned nasty and said that we were involved in the plot. She was the mum of one of the kids that had been taken into care. You could see why by the look of her; she was on heroin and I dread to think what else. Paid for by prostitution. She threatened to kill me and Kyle. Kyle wanted to investigate further but I said no. The woman was an obvious fantasist."
Paul thought carefully:
"Well at least thats three possible leads. How long ago was the last case?"
"Oh only a few months. I should remember the woman's name ..... Baldwin... Lisa Baldwin."
"Well we'll try to look into these cases and see what we can unearth. You get some rest Ben."
Ben sank back on the sofa and let sleep engulf him."

A few hours later Ben awoke to the sound of voices in the next room.
".....but I must see him. I simply must...."
"Look you idiot Ben is too unwell. ¤¤¤¤ off" Ben heard Katie shout.
"Miss Ryan, I have the greatest admiration for you but please don't instruct me to ¤¤¤¤ off....."
"Who is it Katie?" Ben shouted. The door flew open and in strode......................

............Ian Levine.
"Ben I simply had to see you. I've written some new lyrics for your up and coming album. I have followed all of your adventures and have built up an extensive personal collection of memorabilia . It is because of me that the glass that you sipped absinthe from on your last night in Italy was saved from being thrown away after the waiter cracked it. I am solely responsible for saving it and paid £500 to get it." Ben sighed and his dark eyes filled with tears:
"Why bother? My life is ruined. Its all over. Everyone thinks I harbour child killers and Kyle.... why didn't I treat him better? He's probably being beaten to death in some cell. I'm finished."
"I don't care what anyone thinks. I believe in you Ben. When my good friend Keith Smith told me you were recording an album I just knew I had to be involved. I have in my hand the lyrics to side one track one: "Operation Delta in Distress".
Ian sings the lyrics to Ben while Katie laughs in the background. Ben sits up:
"I'm pleased that someone out there still believes in me and in Operation Delta. Maybe there is a point in going on........................"

.................. to be continued.

The Wedding of Ben Chatham Part 4

2012-01-08T12:54:00.000-08:00

Ok, here is the next part of this major Doctor Who spin off story folks:

"THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM Part 4

Ben Chatham drove through the bustling streets and dreaming spires of Cambridge. It had been a week since his new year proposal to Emma, who was now sitting in the car next to him, an engagement ring on her finger. She stared longingly at Ben, fixing on his smooth neck and rose-petal lips. She imagined him kissing her all over and caressing her pert nipples. Ben stopped the car outside his apartment.
"Are you ok Ben?" Emma asked.
"No. I'm nervous about seeing my apartment for the first time since it was raided. Knowing the police they will have damaged some of the items inside".
"Brave heart Ben!" Emma said, squeezing Ben's knee. They got out of the car, went to the door and rang. Luigi answered and they went in, seeing Kyle and Katie. Ben stared around horrified.
"Where are my expensive David Hockney reproductions? And what the hell has happened to the carpet?" Katie stood up:
"Look Ben I did warn you. The police ripped the backs off the paintings looking for concealed documents. And the carpet was ripped up to search for then too." Ben's eyes filled with tears:
"That carpet was fitted by Hashmere and Ashtons and cost £150 a square metre." Ben went over to Kyle who had two black eyes and a swollen face:
"How are you feeling Kyle? It is absolutely outrageous what they did to you."
"Yeah I'm on the mend like. Bleedin' coppers!"
"That is not the correct attitude to take Kyle. The police do an invaluable job in maintaining law and order. However there is clearly a rogue element involved with whoever is trying to discredit us".
Meanwhile Katie notices Emma's ring:
"So its true then? You're engaged to this little airhead". Ben is irritated:
"If you have nothing positive to say Katie then please leave. Emma is my wife to be and I will not have you insulting her."
"Fine" Katie shouted, flouncing out of the apartment and slamming the door.

Later as Emma assisted Luigi in preparing dinner, Kyle and Ben enjoyed a beer and a brandy respectively.
"Ere Ben are you really sure you're doin' the right thing gettin' married like. I mean you bein' gay like."
"I don't want to discuss it Kyle. And I'm still annoyed that you used this apartment to store goods stolen during the summer riots." Ben responded.
"It was only the flatscreen telly an' blu-ray player."
"Your criminal behaviour allowed whoever is behind this a grain of truth which they could embelish and exaggerate. And please don't question my marriage".
"I'm only tryin' to help like. I mean if you're bein forced into summat that ain't right for you......"
"I don't like talking about this. Please refrain from calling me gay Kyle. I'm not, I'm just a heterosexual male who sleeps mainly with people of his own gender." Kyle looks puzzled:
"Thats bollocks Ben. This ain't like you. "
"Shut it Kyle!" Ben shouts.

The next day Ben drives to London where he has called an emergency meeting of the Operation Delta team in their ransacked HQ. Fortunately the meeting room furniture is still in situe and Ben plugs his new top of the range £5000laptop, purchased two days before, into the powerpoint projector.
"Please desist from speaking while I outline our situation. This organisation is in crisis. I have had my good name soiled in the press and our funding has ceased. We as an organisation have been accused of financial corruption, violent disorder, drugs offences and most recently of plotting with terrorist groups. We are in serious financial trouble."
"Hey man, like when the fascists let me go they said they were gonna make sure we never took on another investigation man . What a bummer. Are we gonna wind up the group?" Shakey Jake says.
"No Jake we are not. And please don't interrupt. I have a plan which may well both restore our positive public image and provide a source of independent income. The Doctor suggested it to me. We are going to record a charity fundraising album and single. Think Band Aid 1984. Yesterday Paul and Corinne wrote on my behalf to a good range of major musicians and artists asking for their help. Linking us to such artists will restore the public's positive view of Operation Delta." There is muttering among the team:
"Which major artists have they written to?" Katie asks.
"A whole host. But they include Simon Cowell and Bob Geldof, who will oversee the project, Coldplay, Robbie Williams, Madonna and lots more".

A few days later, Ben arrives at Hammersmith Recording Studios in London which he has booked for preliminary rehearsals. Paul Farraday and Corinne Shaw are waiting for him.
"Hi guys. So who are we expecting to come along today? I've got a list of possible songs to try." Paul frowns:
"Its not good news I'm afraid Ben. We've had rejections from most of the artists we contacted. We did have high hopes for Coldplay but their agent rang this morning saying no."
"What about Robbie? He sent me an email earlier in the week saying he'd come".
"Cancelled last night As did Will Young .And Simon Cowell and Bob Geldof both said no".
"So how many are coming then?"
"Just Bowie".
"I knew David wouldn't let me down. But how the hell can we record an album without a band? Maybe David will bring one with him." As he speaks, Ben's mobile rings:
"Hello, this is Ben Chatham. Oh hi David, are you on your way? Oh! Throat infection? Can't you come along anyway? Oh ok." Ben throws the phone down.
"He's not coming. But he said we could use any of his superlative back catalogue so all is not lost. But we've now got no artists to sing them."
Ben's eyes filled with tears as Katie strode in.
"Have we had any luck with the producers Katie?" he asked her, wiping the tears from his dark, dreamy eyes:
"Lots of rejections but two firm offers from Phil Spector and Jonathan King".
"Phil Spector? Didn't he work with the Beatles. We'll have him". Corinne intervenes:
"Hang on Ben. He's in prison in America."
"Well can't they release him? This is important".
"They won't do that" Corinne replied. Ben stared at her angrily:
"What so they keep him locked up for some minor crime while my organisation goes down the drain? Typical Americans. Well I'm not giving up. We will release the album."
"How?" Katie asks.
"By recording it ourselves. WE will become the band.........................."

........... to be continued.

"The Wedding of Ben Chatham" Part 3

2012-01-01T08:27:00.000-08:00

OK folks, here is the gripping New Years Day instaulment of this major Doctor Who spin off story.

"THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM" Part 3

Ben felt alone, despondent and wretched. The walls of life seemed to be crushing his sensitive mind. He knocked back another glass of port and stared at the familiar surroundings of his parents' country house in rural Wiltshire. Alastair Chatham had insisted that his son spend the Christmas perod at home and the boredom of doing so was driving Ben to distraction. He threw his glass at the Christmas tree and it whizzed past and smashed on the wall beyond. The sound brought Ben's mother into the room:
"What was that noise? Ben? Did you throw a glass at the wall again?" Ben's dark dreamy eyes stared into space. Mrs Chatham elegantly turned towards him:
"Its high time that you pulled yourself together Benjamin. Your father and I are deeply concerned about your state of mind." As she spoke the doorbell rang and Mrs Chatham went into the hall to answer it. Opening the door she saw an attractive blonde youth standing before her:
"Er Hello. I'm James. James Bartlett. My father invited me........" Mrs Chatham gasped :
"He did what??" As she spoke Alastair Chatham came rushing downstairs:
"Er yes dear, I must have forgotten to explain. I thought we could have a proper family New Years celebration together."
"My God Alastair, you never cease to disgust me. I'm surprised you didn't invite his French whore of a mother as well. I'm going upstairs for a valium."

Mrs Chatham elegantly glided upstairs while Alastair showed James into the exquisedly furnished front room with wooden beams, wood panelling, stag-heads mounted on the walls and exclusive Harrods Christmas decorations. Ben looked up at his brother:
"Oh this just gets worse. Why are you here?" Alastair frowned:
"He's here because I invited him. He is my son and a fine young man. Man being the key word." Ben flicked his golden hair back:
"You know nothing about him." James held out his hand to Ben:
"Look Ben can we not like make up. I'm sorry for what I did."
"No we can't".
Alastair Chatham left the room to go upstairs and talk round his wife. James elegantly smiled:
"Look Ben I'm not just here because of dad. Your colleagues Katie and Jack contacted me and I'm like working with them. They know that dad has stopped you seeing Operation Delta people as part of his bail conditions and they're waiting in the Red Lion . All we have to do is make an excuse to go for a New Years Day drink."
When Alastair Chatham returns, Ben and James pretend to have made up and to be engaged in an interesting discussion about Flemish painting. Alastair smiles:
"I've succeeded in talking your mother round. I pointed out that only the lumpen bourgeoisie object to their husbands having mistresses wheras a true lady accepts her husband's occasional dalliances." James smiles radiantly:
"We have also like made up. We thought we'd celebrate with a glass of wine in the Red Lion."

Later in the Red Lion Ben sipped an absinthe and stared at Captain Jack Harkness:
"What is going on Jack?"
"Its a conspiracy that has been very carefully planned Ben. Given the goddam police have been allowed to concoct false evidence and beat up suspects without exposure, I'd say that involves not just their bosses but the major media moguls as well as politicians and other influential people."
"But why?"
"Hell Ben we must assume that its some kind of alien threat. Why else target Operation Delta."
Katie Ryan interjected:
"I recon that its an attempt to take over the UK from the top down. We can assume that they don't have the power or resources to just invade. So they are gaining control over those in power on a gradual basis."
"How is Kyle doing?" Ben asks.
"Oh chavboy? He's still very weak. Luigi has been released as well so we're both looking after him. He took one hell of a beating. Also we're running out of cash and the bills are piling up. If this goes on for much longer we'll have the ¤¤¤¤ing bailiffs knocking on Operation Delta HQ's door."
Ben stared at his glass and swirled the absinthe round:
"I feel like I've really had enough Katie. My organisation is going bust and my name has been ruined in the press. My father wants me to get married as well or he'll cut me out of his will." Katie reaches under the table and strokes Ben's knee:
"At least something good is coming out of this then Ben".
"What do you mean?"
"Oh come on Ben. I'm more than ready to help straighten you out".
"I'm not marrying you. I have someone else in mind."
Ben takes out his mobile and rings a number:
"Hi is that Emma? Emma Cole? Hi its Ben here. Happy new year! I'm calling to offer you marriage. You know how wealthy my family is so you'll be able to live in a nice house with room for a pony. I assure you that you will be well provided for and I will engage in sexual activity with you once every two weeks provided that our parents approve..........."

...................to be continued.

Lets make 2012 the best ever Ben Chatham year!

2011-12-31T04:30:00.001-08:00

More stories, more appearances in fanzines, audios and much much more......

The Wedding of Ben Chatham: Part 2

2011-12-31T04:24:00.001-08:00

OK folks, here is part 2 of this dramatic story. The plot thickens:

THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM: Part 2

Ben is thrown into the back of a police van and driven off at speed. Katie Ryan adds another layer of lipstick before taking out her mobile phone and calling Ben's father followed by Captain Jack Harkness......

Meanwhile Ben arrives at the police station and is dragged into the station by two burly officers:
"You cannot treat me like this. What the hell is going on?" he demands. One of the policemen laughs sardonically:
"We can treat you as we like mate as you're under special measures. Riot prevention."
"Oh what is this? I have never condoned, supported or engaged in rioting in my life and if any of my associates engaged in such behaviour then they would no longer be my associates I assure you." One of the policemen offers Ben a pound coin:
"'Ere take this".
"What for?" Ben asks.
"So you can call someone who gives a ¤¤¤¤". The policemen laugh and throw Ben into a cell. The wall has bloodstains on it and crumpled in the corner is a badly beaten young man who Ben is shocked to see is Kyle.
"What? What the hell have they done to you?" Ben shouts , cradling Kyle's bloodstained head. Kyle tried to speak and then lapsed into unconsciousness.

Several hours later Katie Ryan and Captain Jack Harkness met up in the Scholar's Arms bar in Cambridge. Katie was applying eyeshadow when Jack walked in looking perturbed. Katie decided that a smile would seem a tad desperate so she turned away and pretended not to see Jack. Jack strode over to her:
"Hey babe, whats all this about. You know I've got better things to do than run around helping you lot out all the time. Whats Ben got himself involved with now."
Katie flashed Jack an enticing look and sipped her martini:
"Oh sit down please Jack and stop complaining. Why do men always complain when there's work to be done?"
"Look Katie lets have none of your games. Whats going on?"
"Ben, Kyle and Jake have been arrested and our HQ has been ransacked. For some reason Operation Delta has been closed down. I may be in danger myself hence us meeting up here instead of in the Mermaid. Now would you like a drink?"
"Hell Katie this sounds like some goddam conspiracy. Were you followed here?" Katie smiles:
"I don't think so but I can't be sure. So lets make the most of it now while we still have time". Katie pulls Jack to her with his tie and gives him a huge kiss which Jack reciprocates.
"Hell babe you're as hot as ever. Theres a bed waiting for you at mine when this is all over" Jack says with a glint in his eye.

Meanwhile Ben is slumped in the corner of the cell with Kyle, who is lapsing in and out of consciousness. He has given up shouting for help and has wrapped his friend in his jacket to keep him warm. Suddenly the door bursts open and a plain clothes police inspector strides in:
"Mr Chatham you are to be released on bail."
"Hey what are you going to do about Kyle here, he's badly hurt. Furthermore none of this makes any rational sense. I have not been interviewed yet. Since when did the police release suspects prior to interview?"
"We ask the questions Mr Chatham. Now come with me."
"Not until you furnish medical assistance to Kyle". The inspector snaps his fingers and two policemen enter and drag Ben out of the cell.
"I'll make sure you people answer for this. I belong to the Conservative Party" Ben shouts as he is manhandled into the station foyer where his father is waiting.
"Er dad? Why are you here?" Alastair Chatham gave his son an icy stare:
"I have just had to bail you out Benjamin. I feel totally humiliated. Now get in the car!"
As they leave the building a mass of paparazzi surge forward taking photographs.

As Ben's father drove through the Cambridgeshire countryside Ben tried to reason with him:
"Look those photographers were there for a reason. The whole thing must be about discrediting me personally and Operation Delta in particular. Its a conspiracy. No special measures exist that allow the police to beat people up in cells and arrest and release people randomly without interviewing them. Its ridiculous." Mr Chatham stared at the road ahead:
"Benjamin, I have just had to bail you out of police custardy and tomorrow the newspapers will no doubt be full of stories linking you to riot offences, theft and illicit drugs. I am shocked and disgusted with you. Earlier I left your mother sobbing on the sofa. Its bad enough that you have clearly been running an organisation that employs criminals and drugtakers but to engage in such things yourself? What the hell were you thinking?"
"Its rubbish all of it. You know I would not condone such activities".
"Do I? You know I really don't think I know you at all anymore Benjamin. You persist in avoiding a proper career, you run around Cambridge getting drunk and having immoral relations with other young men. And now this. Well it ends now. You will straighten your life out or I will cut you completely from mine and your mother's lives. You will get nothing in my will; I'll leave it all to your brother."
"What? You can't do that. You think he's straight or something? He slept with my boyfriend".
"Please don't lie to me Benjamin. You have a clear choice. You either end this homosexual phase of yours and more importantly wind up this Operation Delta organisation immediately or we will disown you completely................."

................... to be continued.

THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM: Part 1

2011-12-31T04:20:00.000-08:00

Ok folks, here is the much anticipated new Ben Chatham story. It will have a festive element to go with Xmas. Enjoy alongside the Christmas Doctor Who story .

"THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM"

Ben stared into the half-empty glass of absinthe and sighed bleakly to himsilf as the sound of shouting clubbers and pulsating music seemed like it was crushing his soul. He slumped back on the seat and his head knocked into a young blonde woman who was nattering away to a young man in a white shirt.
"Ere watch it mate" the woman exclaimed. Ben turned to her, his floppy hair dishevelled and falling down:
"I'm not your mate you commonplace female" he mumbled, his mind cloudy with alcohol. The girl scowled and the guy in the white shirt leaned forward:
"Watch it mate" he shouted. Ben sank down further into the seat:
"How did it come to this? How did I end up spending my evenings in this ghastly club? More to the point what the hell is a dive like this doing being frequented by the youth of Cambridge. The elite. The Junesse Dore of England...... mores the point how did my life end up in this rut. Everyone I've tried to love has ended up just knifing me in the back. Is there any point? I'm rambling......"
Ben slumps forward and knocks his drink over. As he does so, Katie Ryan comes over:
"Are you going to just sit there all night Ben? Come on over to the dancefloor". Ben lifts his head up slightly:
"I'm tired. Go away". As Ben spoke Ben's mobile went off.
"Answer that whatever thingy Katie ....." Katie frowned:
"You can be pathetic sometimes Ben". She rooted in his jacket pocket and found the phone.
"Hello, its Katie Ryan, Ben is busy...... what?.... slow down you little crap I can't follow you.... what? ........."
She stared at Ben:
"Its Luigi. Kyle's been arrested". Ben gave an intoxicated grin:
"Hardly a rarety".
"No you don't get it Ben. Kyle's been arrested at your apartment. Your apartment is being raided. "

Katie helped Ben to stagger out of "Club Zanzinger" and towards a row of taxis in the distance. Ben's phone went again and Katie answered:
"Hello... Oh no ... look have you told them who we are? They can't do this, we are above their juristiction......"
"What now?" Ben groaned.
"Operation Delta HQ is being raided as well, That was Paul Farraday. Apparently the police have special permission as its to do with the summer riots".
"Nonsense Katie. Operation Delta is above the police, as is Torchwood. I'll see that someone loses his job for......" Ben lurches forward and vomits on the pavement. A woman passing by mumbles something and Katie flashes her a firm look:
"Piss off bitch."
She orders a taxi to take them to Ben's apartment and when they arrive they see a large police removal van being loaded up with massive boxes and computer equipment.
"What the hell is going on?" Katie demands. A police officer approaches:
"Do you live in these premesis madam?"
"No I don't. This is Ben Chatham's apartment. THE Ben Chatham. You are in big ¤¤¤¤ing trouble, PC Plod".
"We have reason to believe that this property has been used to store stolen goods from the summer riots by one Kyle Barry Scott. Do you know Kyle Barry Scott?" Ben looks up and flicks his golden hair out of his luscious eyes. He holds up his Operation Delta card:
"You cannot do this as it contravenes protocol. The regular police cannot question Operation Delta personnel".
"Rubbish Sir. We have also arrested a feral foreign youth of latin appearance called Luigi whom we suspect of riot offences. And I smell alcohol on your breath. I suggest you let us get on with our work or I will arrest you for being drunk and disorderly."

Katie drags Ben away and towards the Mermaid Wine Bar.
"What are you doing Katie? They can't do this its........"
"I know Ben. Something is really ¤¤¤¤ing wrong here. Paul Farraday has just texted so say that he, Corinne and the rest of the London staff have been threatened with arrest as well. The place is being gutted. They are using Kyle hiding stolen goods as an excuse again. Shakey Jake has also been arrested and his house ransacked. I'm phoning Nigel Moore, our contact guy at the Home Office".
They enter the Mermaid and Katie moves to a quiet corner to make the call. As she does so Keith Smith rushes in:
"Ben I've been looking for you. Its a plot to discredit the whole organisation. The conspiracy must involve people high up as........"
"What the hell are you rambling on about Keith? I'm tired and exhausted. I don't need all of this."
As Ben spoke, Katie approached:
"This is ¤¤¤¤ing odd Ben. Apparently Moore is no longer working at the Home Office. He's been arrested and charged with pornography offences. The woman on the phone said that OPeration Delta is no longer a recognised government agency".
As she spoke, the Mermaid door burst open and three police officers burst in through the door and approached Ben:
"Benjamin Chatham. You are under arrest for instigating public order offences, recieving stolen goods and possession of class A drugs. You have the right to remain silent and anything you say may lead to a kick in the nuts."

................ to be continued.

The Wedding Of Ben Chatham

2011-12-20T05:26:00.000-08:00

New story starting now on Gallifrey Base in the Ben Chatham forum.

Also pick up the fanzines 'Bandril' & 'Tomtit' for an EXCLUSIVE Ben Chatham story "The Ghosts of Peversham Station".

I'm enjoying a beer

2011-05-20T13:28:00.001-07:00

Abbott ale

The Greatness of the Ben Chatham canon

2011-03-18T13:26:00.000-07:00

The Ben Chatham canon now consists of a body of work unparalleled in Doctor Who fandom. The sheer volume of stories, the fact that they have their own forum on a major Doctor who site and the unmatched creative energies which have gone into the stories indicate that they represent the finest in British science fiction.

Let it Snow Let it Snow Let it Snow

2010-12-03T10:56:00.000-08:00

The recent snow has been fantastic. Why people complain about it I've no idea.

Poor sales of the Doctor Who series 5 DVD set

2010-12-03T10:54:00.001-08:00

As I predicted this set is selling less rapidly that the previous series boxsets. This suggests that a rethink is needed in the show's direction.

I'm enjoying a light lunch

2010-08-27T04:48:00.000-07:00

It consists of a ham salad sandwich and a coffee

Coming soon: the new Doomwatch 2010 story!

2010-07-16T12:20:00.000-07:00

Watch this space folks!

"DOOMWATCH 2010": Meet the Team!

2010-05-26T08:07:00.000-07:00

"DOOMWATCH 2010" : Meet the Team!

OK, I thought I'd provide a more visual description of the new team so that people can picture them better :

Dr Peter Ashton-Scott

Team leader. An experienced chemist and ecologist from Cambridge university who left academia to set up a self-sufficient community in the hebrides. Coaxed out of retirement by Allen.Aged around 59, Ashton Scott physically resembles the late politician Michael Foot: longish white hair, thick glasses and prone to passionate gesticulating when speaking.

Steve Allen

Environmental campaigner, idealist and disillusioned science advisor to the government.Steve is in his early 30s with short hair and a muscular frame. Phsically resembles Lee Majors in his heyday in the 1970s when he played 'The Bionic Man' .

Charles Furness

Young, attractive Oxford graduate and brilliant chemist and technician. Struggling to accept his sexuality.Aged 21, Charles is slim with long, shoulder-length dark hair. He wears casual clothes, jeans and thin sweaters.

Abby Hanson

Feisty twenty-something geologist and ecologist. Gave up teaching to join the team.Abby is around 25 years old, slim with dark hair. She is attractive and businesslike.

Genna Miles

Genna is a 23 year old History graduate who formerly worked at Bosworth Battlefield Centre. She has short blonde hair and is attractive and personable. She wears smart casual clothes.

Brian Eddows

Sixty-something lab technician. An ex-prisoner seeking a new life and redemption from his crimes. Brian is 62 years old and is a thick-set stout man with very short grey hair. Has a sense of the reformed villain about him.

"Price Worth Paying" Part 5

2010-05-02T07:48:00.000-07:00

OK : the story continues:

"PRICE WORTH PAYING" : Part 5

Charles, Genna and Abby were led by gunpoint to an office where an angry Walker was waiting:
"So, not content with going through the normal process to secure an interview, you also see fit to break into this centre. I will obviously be making formal compaints to the appropriate authorities." Abby stepped forward:
"Yeah and we will also be speaking to the authorities. About how you know damn well that your GM grain is toxic to primates".
"Its all in these documents" Charles added, waving the papers. Walker laughed sardonically:
"The documents in that cabinet refer to the very earliest prototype of our modified grain. I presume you didn't bother to check the date or the details. Those documents are seven years old and refer to Zentar wheat sample 1, while the product we actually now grow is sample 7, which is perfectly safe". Charles checked the documents and saw that Walker was telling the truth:
"That does not alter the fact that your product in its early stages was highly dangerous and we only have your word for it that it is not so still", Charles stated, flicking his long dark hair from his eyes. Walker got up and stared at him:
"You know, you do-gooder student types make me sick. Look at you, standing there with your foppish hair and self-righteous manner. Never done a proper days work in your life no doubt, just sponged off your parents and then got a non-job with a pointless quango run by a sad old lefty." Abby intervened:
"You don't know what you're talking about", she shouted. Walker stared at her:
"I despise people like you. Wet behind the ears pseudo radicals. The fact is that the world needs more food and we are helping to provide it. Who cares about a killing a bit of wildlife in the process or causing a bit of collateral damage to local populations. They are a price worth paying for greater yeilds. And the public want more and better food, not organic lentils."
"So as far as you're concerned, any damage to the environment or to the public itself is just collateral damage" Charles asked.
"Yes , *to the security guards* escort these overgrown children off this site."

Meanwhile in Suffolk Steve had given a brief interview to the police and returned to the site of the crop test. Using his initiative he borrowed a ladder that was proped up beside someone's half completed garage extension and carried it across the wasteground to the perimeter fence. He climbed up and carefully navigated himself over the barbed wire and jumped down over the other side. He landed badly and fell backwards, banging his head. Picking himself up, he couldn't believe his eyes. A field full of wheat was growing through the snow and entering the stage of starting to ripen, in the middle of winter. As he looked around he felt someone grab his arms. Two men dressed in white plastic overalls and gas masks grabbed him and escorted him to a grey building at the side of the field. He was thrown on the floor in front of a suited man who smoked a cigar:
"Hmmm. You're from Doomwatch at a guess. The boss just rang me to warn that you lot could be on the prowl" the man stated.
"Who the hell are you?" Steve asked.
"Andy Powell, Zentar Director of Research. It seems that your collegues have caused a right stir with Mr Walker."
"Why the hell are they wearing gas masks? You know don't you? You know that this stuff is dangerous" Steve shouts. Powell laughs:
"Oh don't be so po-faced. Have a cigar. Those masks are purely to prevent our staff carrying pollen out of the site in their lungs and then contaminating nearby organic farms".
"Bullshit" Steve shouted.

In Leicestershire, Charles, Genna and Abby had returned to the Black Swan. Charles stared mournfully at the documents:
"So these are just useless. They prove nothing". Abby looked up:
"They at least prove that the crops carried dangers at the start. But yes, we need much more. Anyway, right now I'm ready for a drink.Charles? Genna?"
"I'll have a white wine" Genna replied.
"None for me tonight. I want to keep a clear head for tomorrow. Anyway I don't drink much. I prefer a good book to alcohol" Charles stated.As Abby went to the bar, Genna smiled at Charles:
"So what do you like reading"?
"Oh all sorts, history, ecology, anthropology, fiction, poetry. Right now I'm juxtoposing "Silent Spring" with "Jude the Obscure".Genna laughed:
"So tell me about this Chris" she asked. Charles looked away:
"I don't want to talk about that. Its too painful still. Like raking up the shattered shards of broken dreams".Abby returned from the bar:
"As I see it, we now have no options left here other than to find someone in that organisation who will whistle blow" she states......

..... to be continued.

"Price Worth Paying" Part 4

2010-05-02T07:43:00.000-07:00

Here it is folks:

PRICE WORTH PAYING: Part 4

Steve Allen is driving through the Suffolk countryside towards the experimental GM test site. He had felt frustrated after another altercation with Ashton-Scott during which he had insisted on using the car. However it was crisp, blue-skied winter’s day and Steve now felt uplifted by the sunshine gleaming off the thin covering of snow on the fields that he passed. Eventually he arrived at a huge green metal perimeter fence which was topped with pointed spikes and barbed wire. He stopped the car and got out , climbing on top of the car to try and get a view of the crop, however the fence was too tall.
“There ain’t no use in doin’ that, you need a stepladder” an old woman’s voice calls out. Steve looks round and sees an elderly woman dressed in ragged clothes with unkempt hair. She carried a cat in her hands which she stroked:
“I’m Elsie. It ain’t natural whats growin’ behind there. Them there enviromentalist protesters where down here again last week . Good luck to em I say.” Steve smiles:
“Do any of these protesters ever get over the fence and inside Elsie?” he asks.
“They gets in but they soon gets shoved out again. They must have hundreds of them security men in there. And then the bobbies come and take the protesters away in big vans”.

As Elsie speaks, Steve hears a woman scream and a commotion coming from some terraced houses separated from the fence by a patch of unkempt wasteland. Running across he is shocked to see a large, overweight man in a white vest attacking a woman with a plank of wood. Spittle and foam was dribbling from his mouth as he lunged at the woman who was also in a furious rage. The woman ran down the small garden and out of the broken gate . She picked up a half-brick from a pile of fly-tipped rubbish on the waste ground and threw it at the man, cracking his nose open. He fell to the ground grunting and screaming. The crazed woman turned on Steve, lunging at his face . Steve managed to grapple her to the ground as a police car drew up……..

Meanwhile in Bosworth, Charles is sitting in the lounge of the Black Swan with Genna and Abby Hanson, who has just arrived. He explains recent developments to Abby:
“Its clear from what you say that Walker will tell us nothing .” Abby observes.
“So what do you suggest that we do now? There is no actual evidence that Sansom was working for the protesters.” Charles replies.
“Then we find some. We break into that centre and we damn well find the evidence” Abby suggests. Genna looks up:
“I know a way that you can get in. Part of their centre backs onto our battlefield centre’s grounds. They were not allowed to build a massive wall or anything so theres only a thin fence. They do have guard dogs though.”
“We can drug them safely using some steak laced with dizaphane.” Abby responds. As they enjoy a coffee, Genna asks how Abby became involved with Doomwatch:
“After uni I spent a year teaching Geography in Hampshire. However it just wasn’t for me. I could handle the kids but I wanted to make a difference and the syllabus was just too narrow and restrictive. When I heard about Doomwatch I knew I had to get involved.”.
Charles sighs:“I wish I had that certainty. I had absolutely no idea what to do after uni. I just knew I had to get away from living at home.”

Later, Charles, Abby and Genna have cut through the wire and are inside the Zentar Corporation’s HQ grounds. Around them lie the unconscious dogs, having nibbled the beef.
“It is perfectly safe. Those dogs will be perfectly ok again in half an hour” Abby assures Charles.
“I’m pleased that Doomwatch has an ethical approach to dealing with guard dogs. However this means we must move fast” Charles comments. He and Abby use a skeleton key to get inside the building while Genna keeps a lookout. Inside they wander through deserted corridors and come to a side room full of large freezers. Charles opens one up and is shocked to see it is full of frozen monkey corpses in plastic bags. Abby and Genna rifle through some papers kept in a grey cabinet. Abby suddenly gets excited:
“Look at this. Its some of Sansom’s pathology notes on the monkeys.”Charles looks at the papers which are handwritten autopsy notes signed by Sansom. He reads aloud:
“…… it is clear to me that subject 23 died of the same symptoms as 13-22. Intense cerebral haemorrhaging following a long period of severe anger and violent rage. It is also clear that the symptoms are only present in those subjects exposed to the GM grain……..”
Charles is cut short by a voice behind him:
“None of you move”.They see two security guards with guns raised…….…

………..to be continued.

"Price Worth Paying" part 3

2010-04-15T11:34:00.000-07:00

OK folks, here is part 3:

"Price Worth Paying": Part 3

After a sleepless night in an uncomfortable bed with lumpy pillows, Charles sets out for the Zentar Research Centre. Arriving at the gates, he is met by several private security guards who escort him to Walker's office. Inside he is met by a firm faced man in a business suit with short dark hair.
"Right Mr Furness, lets get several things clear. Firstly I'm agreeing to talk to you purely as a gesture of goodwill. I don't like your organisation or your boss however I am willing to engage in dialogue. I do want to make it clear that I regard this interview as pointless."
Charles senses a deliberate attempt to intimidate him:
"Mr Walker. Can you tell me why one of your scientists was shot here" he asks. Walker scowls:
"Haven't they briefed you. Oh, looking at you though you must be new. Just out of university I presume."
"Just answer the question please" Charles replies.
"A militant splinter group of that Greenpeace lot broke into this Centre and shot Dr Paul Sansom. Its as simple as that. The two people responsible are in Leicester nick awaiting trail. Typical crusty types, one an anti-hunt protester as well."
Charles senses elusiveness:"But they had no motive for murder. And they don't sound violent types" he states.
"Right thats it, interview over. Now kindly leave the premesis" Waker tersely replies.

Charles leaves and gets the bus to Leicester where he goes to the prison and finds out visiting times. He then goes to the Bread & Roses student cafe for an organic coffee and visits two second hand bookshops before going back to the prison. As he sits in the visitor room, a dishevelled man with lots of facial piercings and platted hair arrives.
"Hello, I'm Charles Furness. You must be Nigel Dearham".
"Ere I 'ate that name. I'm Logga" the man states. Charles decides to humour him.
"Ok Logga. I suppose it is a name with a more earthy ring to it than Nigel." The man stares.
"So Logga. Can you tell me what happened the night Paul Sansom was shot?"
"We ain't guilty. Me and Bez we like wanted to see what was really going on in that lab. We 'eard that they were experimentin' on animals and tryin' to develop some kind of GM crop that could grow in winter. They were feeding it to monkeys to see if it hurt 'em. Sick bastards. Anyroad, we gets in an as we searched around we hears a shot. Then as we are tryin' to escape security nab us." Charles flicks his dark hair out of his eyes:
"Are you sure you didn't do it?"
"Look mate are you deaf or summat. Anyway why would we want to kill our inside contact?"
"What?"
"Sansom was one of us. He was the one passed us the info about the experiments. He rekoned that the crops wern't safe. That the monkeys went mad when it was fed to 'em and clawed each other up".

Charles leaves and gets the bus back to Bosworth. He has dinner with Genna in the Black Swan.
"So how was your day Charles?" she asks.
"Concerning. I think that the Zentar Corporation have had one of their own staff killed in order to stop them blowing the whistle on the side effects of their products." Genna strokes his long hair:#"Poor Charles. How about we order some wine? *strokes his leg*" Charles feels uneasy and tears well up:
"Genna you need to know that I'm gay before you get the wrong idea". Genna looks surprised but composes herself:
"Oh... oh well I'm pleased you told me. Do you have a man in your life?" Charles thinks of Chris and holds back the tears:
"At uni there was someone. But he wasn't intetrested. I'm alone on an Island of dry sand........."

............ to be continued.

"Price Worth Paying" Part 2

2010-04-15T11:26:00.000-07:00

OK, here is the second part of this story folks:

"PRICE WORTH PAYING": Part 2

Charles is sitting quietly in the first class compartment of the train, sipping tea and reading Rachel Carson's 'Silent Spring'. His mind keeps wandering away from the book and he puts it down and takes a pen and paper out of his leather case. He begins to write a few lines of verse, not noticing a young woman enter the carriage.
"Excuse me, would you mind moving your case so that I can sit on that seat" she asks him. Charles doesn't hear her.
"Could you move your case?" she repeats sharply. Charles looks up.
"Sorry. I was lost upon the sea of my own thoughts". He moves his case and she sits down. Charles continues to write.
"I'm sorry for being sharp just then. Are you travelling far?" the girl asks. Charles flicks his long dark hair out of his dreampool eyes:
"Only to the land of silent melancholy" he replies. The girl smiles:
"What a sad thing to say. What do you do for a living?"
"I've just got a job with an environmental organisation called Doomwatch. I graduated last summer" Charles replies.
"Oh me too. My name is Genna Miles. I've a first in History from Durham. I've just been appointed as site historical advisor at Bosworth Battlefield Centre in Leicestershire."
Charles' interest picks up and he puts down his pen:
"Hey thats where I'm going to, Bosworth. I'm Charles Furness. I'm looking into the activities of the Zentar Research Corporation. Mind you I find your job very interesting . My mother always said that there is Plantagenet blood in our family line and so I've always had an interest in Richard III". Genna smiles:
"Pleased to meet you then Charles. I've heard about this Zentar Corporation actually. They tried to buy some land on the battlefield site so that they could build all on it, however Leicestershire Council stopped them."
"Do you know anywhere in Bosworth where I could stay" Charles asks."Well I'm staying temporarily in the Black Swan until I can find somewhere permanent. Why not see if they have more rooms?" Genna replies.

Meanwhile, back at Doomwatch HQ in London Peter and Steve are having another altercation:
"Look you can't just send that boy to deal with this on his own Peter. Its too serious." Ashton-Scott frowns:
"The decision has been made Steve. The nuclear issue takes precedence."
"You're just guilty because your brother worked at Aldermaston!" Steve Allen shouts. Ashton-Scott stands up and glares at him:
"How dare you. You have no damn idea about my family and the sacrifices I made for my principles. When I started going on the Aldermaston protest marches my brother and father severed all contact with me."As he speaks, Abby Hanson enters the office, accompanied by Brian Eddows.
"Whats all this arguing? Can't you two just have a civil conversation without all this macho posturing?" Abby states.
"Macho? Him? Give me a break" Steve replies.
"Shut it Steve" Abby shouts, slaming a file down on the table, "I've just heard that the Dungeness leak was a false alarm. Therefore we can concentrate on this new case" she continues. "Good. So can I go up to Bosworth now? " Steve asks.
"No, Abby can. You can visit the testing site in Suffolk" Peter states.

Meanwhile Charles and Genna have checked into the Black Swan and are enjoying a pub salad and a pint. Charles throws his long hair over his shoulders. Genna feels deeply attracted to him.
"So can you tell me anything else about this Zentar Corporation?" he asks
Its run by a self-made millionaire, Sir Willie Walker. They're a nasty bunch; think the planning laws don't apply to them. I'd watch out though as he's a big friend of Richard Bigjack." Genna replies, munching a lettuce leaf.
"The rightwing newspaper columninst?" Charles asks.
"Yes. The one who's always going on about the EU and feral yobs in the Daily Post. He may turn his sights on your Doomwatch. He hates environmentalists, thinks they're a bunch of fifth columnists for Brussels."
Charles frowns:"Oh no, what have I got myself into. I don't need this hassle after all I've been through this last year."........

..... to be continued.

Doomwatch DVD recommendations:

2010-04-07T07:05:00.000-07:00

TOP= Two episodes from the classic series ie "The Plastic Eaters" & "Tomorrow the Rat".

BOTTOM: The movie starring Ian Bannen.

"DOOMWATCH 2010": "Price Worth Paying"

2010-04-07T06:58:00.000-07:00

The New Team:

Dr Peter Ashton-Scott = team leader. An experienced chemist and ecologist from Cambridge university who left academia to set up a self-sufficient community in the hebrides. Coaxed out of retirement by Allen.

Steve Allen: Environmental campaigner, idealist and disillusioned science advisor to the government.

Charles Furness: Young, attractive Oxford graduate and brilliant chemist and technician. Struggling to accept his sexuality.

Abby Hanson: Feisty twenty-something geologist and ecologist. Gave up teaching to join the team.

Brian Eddows: Sixty-something lab technician. An ex-prisoner seeking a new life and redemption from his crimes.

OK folks, here is the first part of a brand new Doomwatch story with a new team:

"DOOMWATCH 2010: Price Worth Paying" : Part 1

Winter in Suffolk. The cold February wind blows snow across the farmyard as Brian Coley goes out to feed his pigs. He hasn’t felt well for days and he had a strange headache that never seemed to go away. As he reaches the pigsties Brian spots an axe in the yard that he had been using to chop logs earlier in the day. A strange feeling of rage hits him, as if all the world was his enemy and out to destroy him. He grabs the axe and swings it around. As he does so Stan Henson, one of his labourers emerges from the tool shed:
“You ok Brian? You look a bit stressed.”Brian swings the axe and buries it in Stan’s head. He is now foaming at the mouth. Driven by pure rage he takes up the axe and heads towards the farmhouse…….

Rural Leicestershire.In the Zentar Corporation’s Research Laboratories near Bosworth, Doctor Paul Sansom is working late. As he stands over his equipment shaking his head a figure approaches behind him. A gun is raised and then fired. Sansom falls down…..

Charles Furness was feeling very nervous as he walked into the Doomwatch Centre in London. This was his first job interview since leaving Oxford and one he was only reluctantly attending. He had left with no idea of what he wanted to do for a career other than something related to science and chemistry. Work was the last thing on his mind. All he could think about was Chris, whom he had fallen in love with during that final year amid the dreaming spires. However Chris had treated him with derision when he had told him of his feelings and was now about to get married. Charles’ confidence had been shaken and the last thing he needed was to have to get a job. However he couldn’t stand the stifling atmosphere of home any longer. As Charles enters the main office he sees two men having a florid argument. The older one sits behind a desk and has long white hair and thick glasses:
“I tell you I cannot spare you at the moment Steve, its all hands on the pump as regards the Dungeness nuclear leak” he shouts. The younger man slams his fist down on the table:
“Look this can’t just be a coincidence Peter. A spate of bizarre murders in the space of weeks and all in the vicinity of the Zentar Corporations’ experimental field of GM winter-growing crops. And now one of their scientists is murdered in his lab.”Dr Ashton Scott sighs in frustration:
“My dear man , they’ve arrested two Greenpeace activists for that. They had broken into the site. And there is not one shred of evidence to link those murders with the GM test.”

Charles clears his throat so that they notice him:
“Excuse me. I’m Charles Furness. I’m here about the job.” He flicks his luscious dark hair out of his eyes. The old man stands up:
“Ah the new boy. I’m Peter Ashton Scott and this is Steve Allen. Welcome to Doomwatch. You’re just in time in fact. Steve here thinks that theres a problem with the Zentar Corporation’s GM testing . I’m not sure I’m convinced and I can’t spare Steve at the moment so you’ve got your first case.”
“You mean I’ve got the job?” Charles asks.“Of course. You’re a brilliant chemist; first class honours from Oxford. And very attractive as well I might add”. Charles blushes:
“So what do I have to do?”
“Do you drive?”
“Yes”
“Then don’t. Too many cars on the road is one of the greatest threats to our environment. Take public transport to the Zentar Corporation’s HQ in Leicestershire and interview their Director, Andy Powell. All of the details and background info is in this file”. Peter hands the file to a puzzled Charles:
“But I’ve no idea about what to interview him about” Charles states.“That’s why I’ve given you the file. I presume your generation can still read.”

Charles leaves the building not sure whether to be pleased or not. He heads towards St Pancras and takes the first train out to Leicester.……

…… to be continued.

Eleventh Hour poll: "drivel" winning so far

2010-04-06T18:21:00.000-07:00

This shows that polls on other Doctor Who sites may be skewed by post-broadcast euphoria . After time a more considered consensus may emerge.

The World of the Lumpen Dim

2010-04-06T16:33:00.000-07:00

So Gordon Brown has called the election finally. I do worry about the electorate. I suspect more are interested in voting in the X Factor or Strictly Come Dancing polls than in a proper election. When I was growing up politics was discussed in the home and at school. Now I fear the masses will decide on the basis of who gives the best Piers Morgan interview or impresses Simon Cowell the most.

Audiobook recommendation: "LEVIATHAN"

2010-04-06T16:04:00.000-07:00

I can thoroughly recommend this recent addition to the Lost Stories series from Big Finish. It has an interesting medieval setting and a plot clearly influenced by classic sci-fi films such as 'Logan's Run'. The perfect antidote to Nuwho.

Exclusive to this blog: More Episode Re-writes!

2010-04-06T15:49:00.000-07:00

As a special treat to readers of this blog I can promise more exclusive rewrites of below par NUwho episodes.

"The Eleventh Hour" concusion

2010-04-06T15:27:00.000-07:00

"The Eleventh Hour" - conclusion

The Doctor and Amy run towards the cricket pavilion, however as they pass the village green a huge eye appears in the sky and they find themselves surrounded by the Guardians. They appear to have no mouths however they are able to speak:
"You are the prisoner. You must be executed."The Doctor realises that they are talking about him:
"Look, I suggest that you think about what you are doing. I am a Time Lord, the last of the Time Lords in fact. You think I am the prisoner because you are detecting residue on me from travelling in time. But that is what I do. Why not analyse me properly."A huge beam of light emenates from the eye and engulfs the Doctor. His clothes evaporate and he is left standing naked . Eventually the light stops.
"You are not the prisoner" the Guardians say.
"Ten out of ten" the Doctor replies.Amy eyes the naked Doctor and nudges him:
"I could say the same from where I'm standing". The Doctor blushes and covers his groin with his hands:
"Kindy return my attire!" he shouts. The clothes suddenly reappear on him:
"Now there is no time to lose. Your prisoner is in that cricket pavilion. Let us commence an arrest."

Entering the pavilion, the Doctor and Amy are shocked to see a pile of dead cricketers and standing behind them is Amy's aunt.
"Please give yourself up" the Doctor pleads. The prisoner scowls.
"I did not create the crack in time. It was created by others. There is a darkness coming".Amy frowns.
"We don't care."The Doctor stares at her:
"You should not be so dismissive of such information. Remember that this isn't your real aunt. *to the Guardians* Please just take your prisoner back into confinement. There is no need for execution, the death penalty just lowers you to the same moral level as the killer themself. However I must speak with this prisoner first about this crack in time".However before he can do so, a bolt of energy from the eye in the sky eliminates the prisoner. Then the Guardians ascend up into the eye and it vanishes.

Later the Doctor, Amy and the Brigadier are discussing recent events in the Red Lion over a drink.
"There should have been another way, there was no need to kill the prisoner" the Doctor states.
"What about this crack in time?" Amy asks.
"I'm very worried Amy. However I assure you that I will try to get to the bottom of it" the Doctor replies.Amy looks at him:
"Can I join you on your travels Doctor? There is so little for me here".The Doctor squeezes her hand:
"Of course. I am so lonely; I've lost so many people close to me. I need company."The Brigadier lightens the mood:
"By the way, I bumped into another former companion of yours last week at my club; Ben Chatham. Splendid chap."The Doctor smiles:
"Ben is one of the best. I must catch up with him.............."

............... the end.

'The Eleventh Hour' 4

2010-04-06T14:40:00.000-07:00

"The Eleventh Hour": 4

The Doctor informs Amy that this is not actually her aunt but the alien which has taken on her form. Amy is nonetheless blinded by anger at the sight of the aunt who abused her and rushes forward shouting. A beam of energy shoots out from the alien, however the Doctor pulls Amy out of the way just in time.
"That was a very stupid thing to do; you could have been killed. Don't ever let your emotions get the better of you like that again" the Doctor shouts. Amy apologises as the alien darts off down a side lane.

Later at the Post Office, Mrs Pegg informs Amy and the Doctor of a strange item on the local news. All the coma patients at nearby Castoby General Hospital had begun to speak simultaneously, saying "you will surrender or we will cleanse this world of all life". The Doctor informs Amy that they are picking up a telepathic communication from the Guardians to the alien.
"The earth is in grave peril Amy. However help is at hand."
"What help?" Amy asks. As she speaks a convoy of military vehicles enters the village. It is UNIT, now led in the UK by Brigadier James Ansell (played by James Wilby). The Brigadier enters the Post Office and the Doctor introduces himself:
"Pleased to meet you Doctor. I've heard much about you. I recently met a former companion of yours Jo Grant at a social function in London. She was wondering how you were. She is currently involved in organic farming and ecological research in Wales with her husband". The Doctor smiles:
"I'm very pleased to hear that she's stuck to her principles. So many of that sixties generation didn't. Anyway Brigadier, what do you propose to do about the alien?"
"Round up all the villagers and hold them in an internment camp until the alien reveals itself". The Doctor frowns:
"That is typical militarism; far too over the top".
"Don't be a wet fool Doctor", the Brigadier replies.

As the Brigadier leaves, the Doctor grabs Amy's arm:
"We'd better find the alien ourselves before he and his lads have chance to put their gung-ho plan into action. Come on". The Doctor rushes outside and uses his futuristic phone to try and track the alien.
"This is no good. The signal is too weak. However it can be boosted via linking to the internet. Do you have a computer?"
"No I'm too poor. However my cousin Sam does". They go round to Sam's house where the Doctor finds him in his room looking at gay porn on his laptop.
"You need to get yourself a boyfriend" the Doctor exclaims as he plugs his phone into the laptop. A map on the village comes up with a light flashing on the cricket pavilion.
"The alien is in there. Lets go *to Sam* delete your hard drive to remove any trace of my phone" the Doctor exclaims.

........ to be continued.

"The Eleventh Hour" 3

2010-04-06T12:34:00.000-07:00

"The Eleventh Hour": continued

The Doctor rushes through the village towards an old, delapidated house, folowed by an intrigued Amy.
"Why are you interested in MY house?" she demands. The Doctor looks at her.
"Your house? You wouldn't be the little girl who lived here over ten years ago surely. I phoned social services."Amy looks him up and down:
"Actually... I do remember you. You came that night my Aunt disappeared. But this can't be right; you haven't changed...."The Doctor puts his arm around her:
"My dear, I will explain all of that in due course. Right now can you tell me what happened to this house after that point in time?"
"I was fostered out to Mr and Mrs Pegg at the Post Office. This place just stood empty for years as my Aunt never came back. I want to see about renovating it however I lack the money."

The Doctor strides into the house and upstairs. He inspects the bedroom wall:
"The crack in the wall will re-open any time now. Whatever lies behind it has chosen this point in time to emerge and pursue whatever escaped."Suddenly the crack reopens and several slim black creatures emerge with featureless faces and silver belts and weapons.
"Oh no. Its the eternal guardians of the penal planet Osias. RUN Amy!"

The Doctor and Amy run out of the house as the figures pursue them. Running through the village, they run into the Post Office and upstairs to Amy's room. The Doctor explains:
"Whatever escaped must be extremely dangerous. Those guardians will try to locate it, however if they can't they will eliminate all animal life on this planet. That is within their remit as its a case of the end justifying the means. We have got to find the alien first and give it a chance to voluntarily surrender."
"That sounds a bit wet to me" Amy remarks."It is important to use reason before force" the Doctor replies, "I suggest that you use this opportunity to change your clothes. Nice legs by the way."Amy pouts then shows the Doctor to the kitchen and makes him a cup of tea which he drinks while she changes. There is a cricket match going on outside and the Doctor watches it out of the window. Later they set off to find the creature."It will keep changing its form to avoid detection" the Doctor states.Suddenly a figure appears in front of them and Amy gasps:
"Its my Aunt......"

The Eleventh Hour : 2

2010-04-06T12:27:00.000-07:00

"THE ELEVENTH HOUR" : continued

The TARDIS lands in Little Bidcombe in 2010. The Doctor admires his new, gleaming silver and white TARDIS console. The design is futuristic and minimalist. John Foxx's 'Metamatic" album plays in the background, which was a gift from a former companion. The Doctor felt that some music would help him relax after regenerating. He is now dressed in a tweed jacket and bowtie.

Leaving the TARDIS, he strides out of a spinney onto a country lane. The sun is shining and he sniffs the air:
"Hmm there is nothing like the smell of England in the summer. I feel better already" he mumbles to himself. He pulls a futuristic phone out of his pocket which he uses to lead him to the time fizzure. Walking along, he sees a group of Morris Dancers on the village green and can't resist joining in. As he vainly tries to match their dancing he hears laughter behind him. Turning round he sees a young woman in a police uniform laughing at him:
"Excuse me madam but I'd rather you didn't laugh at my dancing efforts" he shouts.
"Efforts being the right word. Your legs are too long for that, you look like a drunken crane fly" the woman shouts, giggling and eating a small pork pie.
"I am the Doctor. And who might you be?"
"Amy Pond. And before you say anything, I'm a kissagram not a policewoman. I was hired to give Sir Reginald Haxonby a treat.
"Who's he?" the Doctor asks.
"Chairman on the Village Hall Committee. Its his birthday. Eighty seven. I let him put his hand up my skirt and the old devil nearly had a heart attack" *Amy laughs again*.

Meanwhile by the side of the green, something senses the Doctor's presence. It appears to be Gerald Dobbs a farm labourer and his dog, however Dobbs is posessed by the escaped creature. It eyes the Doctor menacingly...... An elderly woman notices Dobbs' mouth widen revealing an horrific, animalistic appearance. Before she can scream, an invisible energy beam shoots from Dobb's mouth and sets her on fire, the flames hissing and spitting through her hair. Dobbs slips away quickly.The Doctor rushes to help, however the old lady collapses dead in a smoking heap.
"Wha... what the hell happened?" Amy asks.
"Amy, there are forces at work in this village that could threaten the entire future of this planet. However I will do my very best to overcome them, as I always do"......

...... to be continued.

An alternate "The Eleventh Hour"

2010-04-05T16:07:00.000-07:00

An alternate "The Eleventh Hour"

OK, it is clear that 'The Eleventh Hour' has recieved a largely favourable response, however I feel that aspects of it could have been much much better. Here is an alternate synopsis of the story which hopefully will show how I would have presented the story:

The Eleventh Hour

Alone in her bedroom, young Amy Pond is staring sadly at the crack in the wall. She has few toys and her room is bare and shabby, due to neglect by her abusive aunt. As she starts to hum a tune to herself she hears footsteps on the landing and the door is flung open. It is Linda Pond, her late father's older sister & Amy's sole guardian. She has a cigarette in her mouth and is worse for wear on vodka:
"Shut that damn racket you little bitch. You do my 'ed in."Amy cowers in fear as she has recieved a thwack from her aunt many times for less. But this time something strange happens. There is a transluscent glow from the crack in the wall and suddenly a glimmering snake-like creature emerges. Linda drops her vodka bottle as the creature shoots at her head. She is instantly posessed by the thing and walks out of the room and out of the house into the cold, misty night. Amy is relieved that her aunt has gone and lies down to sleep.

Meanwhile the burning TARDIS crashes in the garden. The Doctor emerges, dishevelled, and staggers towards the house. He knocks on the door several times before Amy creeps downstairs and lets him in.
"Excuse me but can I speak to your parents please" the Doctor mumbles.
"They're both dead. I'm looked after by my aunt but she's just gone out" Amy replies.
"What and she's left you in the house on your own? That is totally irresponsible, although sadly not necessarily uncommon. May I come in and rest for a while. I assure you that I am not a criminal; I am in fact a time traveller" the Doctor states.
"Thats ok. My aunt doesn't mind criminals anyway, not the sort that sell her white powdery stuff anyway".The Doctor is disgusted:
"This is outrageous. When will she be back, I'll give her a right good taking to" he sternly states.
"I don't know. This smake thing came out of the wall and took her over." Amy mumbles.The Doctor rushes inside, concerned. He grabs a sandwich from the kitchen table and wolfs it down before rushing upstairs. He inspects the crack and is shocked to see strange dark forms moving inside. The crack closes.
"Oh no. That is a time fissure and whatever has escaped could be from anywhere in the universe. I must use the TARDIS to locate the precise point in time that the place behind the crack is at."
"Can I come with you" Amy asks.
"No. You are too young. However I will text social services on my way out". The Doctor picks up the vodka bottle and throws it in the downstairs bin, while grabbing another sandwich. He then rushes back to the TARDIS.............

................. to be continued.

Problems with "The Eleventh Hour"

2010-04-03T15:23:00.000-07:00

There were so many things wrong with that story that the list could go on forever. However here goes:

1) Wafer thin plotting. The story was simplistic CBBCish fare that reminded me of a poor episode of the SJA. An alien escapes than gets zapped by its guards with a lot of running around in between.

2) All style over substance. Garish colours, gaudy sets and no intelligence in the scripting.

3) Few memorable or witty lines.

4) Everyone behaving like a child with no proper adult characters other than undeveloped support characters who we learn little about.

5) A boring, dragging sense to it all.

6) The redesigned TARDIS is garish and clearly merchandise driven.

7) The new theme music is a poor and overcooked distortion of the original.

"The Eleventh Hour": Absolute drivel.

2010-04-03T13:08:00.001-07:00

The new Doctor Who story was a huge disappointment; probably the worst new Doctor story yet, which is saying a lot considering that 'The Twin Dilemma' & 'Time and the Rani' were both rather atrocious. Wafer-thin plot, a tone pitched purely at the under 8s, lots of overacting and a general sense of 'seen it all before'. Steven Moffat needs to raise his game if he is to avoid a short run as head writer.

Rate 'Chateau of Death'

2010-03-29T10:57:00.000-07:00

What do you think of the latest Ben Chatham classic?

Matt Smith on Jonathan Ross

2010-03-29T10:56:00.001-07:00

I thought he came across quite well. However time will tell.

Should Philip Hinchcliffe be invited to write for series 6/2 of Doctor Who?

2010-02-16T09:32:00.000-08:00

I say yes. He is arguably Doctor Who's best ever producer and he has submitted story ideas in the distant past.

Sign below to get Adam Rickitt back in Corrie!

2010-02-16T09:29:00.000-08:00

The new Nick Tilsley isn't a patch on Adam. Hopefully an online petition will persuade ITV to offer Adam the role again with a massive pay increase.

"CHATEAU OF DEATH" Part 4

2010-02-16T09:18:00.000-08:00

OK folks, the plot thickens in the exciting fourth part:

"CHATEAU OF DEATH": Part 4

Ben and Madame Camboux rush upstairs as they hear a loud thud coming from one of the rooms. Ben flings open the door to see Piers sat on the end of his bed shaking with shock. The wardrobe door is open and a corpse lies on the floor, its glazed lifeless eyes staring upwards.
"I..I opened the wardrobe door to fetch a jacket and.... and this thing fell out...." Piers stammers.
"Its Francois, my butler. How odd. He brought us drinks only ten minutes ago" Madame Camboux exclaims.Ben feels for a pulse on the corpse:
"Madame, this man has been dead for hours, maybe days. The cadavor is stone cold. I suspect that an android has taken his place. It seems odd that the body was hidden in here. Maybe Piers is in on it."
Piers stares angrily at Ben, tears streaming down his face:
"Why do you say that? Why? You make me so sad. You want me out of here so that you can have Madame to yourself. You are so attractive that you will get what you want."
Ben goes over to him:
"I assure you that I have no designs on Madame Camboux. I apologise Piers, I can see now that my suspicions are unfounded. And you are very attractive yourself. I find the French accent aluring" Ben replies.Piers rests his head on Ben's shoulder.
"I think we should go downstairs and tackle this android. I have this" Madame Camboux exclaims, holding up a small, petite silver pistol.

Slowly they creep downstairs and into the lounge, where 'Francois' is clearing up glasses.
"Don't move or I'll shoot. What is your purpose impersonating my butler?" Madame Camboux shouts, holding the pistol.The android leaps forward, grabbing her arm. The pistol goes off, breaking a vase. Ben and Piers try to grab him and as he flails about, Sebastian leaps up, swings on the light fittings and jabs him in the eyes with his rear paws. The android falls back and its head hits the fireplace emitting a loud bang, sparks & smoke. Ben examines it:
"The thing is dead. Good work Sebastian."Sebastian chuckles to himself while Madame Camboux inspects the broken vase.

Later, after the others return back, Ben holds a team meeting in the lounge. Craig is finishing off a poem while Madame Camboux gives Sebastian a saucer of absinthe and a dish of exclusive smoked salmon & caviar cat food, 50 euros a tin.
"Are you sure you should be giving that animal alcohol?" Katie tersely exclaims. Sebastian takes a mouthful of food and feigns a sneeze, sending food splattering all over Katie.
"Oh ****, does that thing do that all the time" she shouts. Isobel goes over to Sebastian and strokes him:
"Poor little cat, he's got a chill. Poor little thing". Sebastian goes to scratch his ear and accidently on purpose scratches Isobel's hand, deep grooves. She screams. Sebastian chuckes to himself. Katie sits next to him and gives him a nudge:
"Ok pal, I think I get you. I suggest we call a truce. You and me could really get on." Sebastian chuckles to himself.Ben asserts himself:
"OK its time to focus. Enough of this banter. What we know is that a group of androids is after wine, probably a specific bottle. Have you bought any wine from that shop Madame?"
"Oh yes. Most of the stock in the cellar is from there. However the Francois android has no doubt searched through all those. Although I do keep a couple of bottles under my bed in case I fancy one in the night" Madame Camboux replies.Ben grins:
"Thats it! The android may not have thought of searching there...." However as he speaks the door flies open. Two completely faceless androids walk in holding guns.................

............... to be continued.

"CHATEAU OF DEATH" Part 3

2010-02-16T09:08:00.000-08:00

OK folks, here is the next action-packed instaulment of this story:

"CHATEAU OF DEATH" Part 3

The robot rushes up the stairs and into the shop. Isobel shrieks and faints and Craig gets pushed to the ground as the crazed mechanical being crashes through the shop door and lumbers away. Kyle rushes up from the cellar:
"Is everyone ok like?"
"What the hell was that thing?" Katie asks.
"It was searching for summat down there. Looks like we've found another case."Katie is not amused:
"I hope Ben was not aware that anything like this would happen when he sent us here. I dislike being kept in the dark about cases.Craig is comforting Isobel who is waking up:
"Oh stop pampering the simpering little trout" Katie exclaims.
"Hey don't talk about Isobel like that" Craig sulllenly replies. He strokes Isobel's hair:
"She's just jealous 'cause you're better looking than her."

Meanwhile back at the Chateau, Ben is lounging on the sofa, stroking Madame Camboux's cat Sebastian who purrs in a refined manner. In his other hand is his mobile and he is mid-conversation when Madame Camboux enters the lounge:
"...... and we can all just turn up and give our names...... thats very generous of you David...... and we get pride of place at the after show dinner.....thanks...... you are honoured to invite me?.... no its me that is honoured..... thanks again David".Ben puts down the phone, a big smile on his face:
"That was David Bowie. He is playing an exclusive one off show in Paris in two weeks and I've been personally invited along with all my team. He says that he longs to see me again."
Madame Camboux lights a cigarette:
"That is good. I have interviewed all of the servants and all deny knowledge of the theft."
Ben frowns:
"I still suspect Piers. How did you meet him?"Madame Camboux smiles:
"When I'm staying in Paris I get attention from a lot of young men who wish to succeed in the film industry. Piers is desperate to act and I promised to use my contacts to get him parts. While I get his parts so to speak".Ben frowns:
"So he is using you. I knew it".Madame Camboux elegantly draws on her cigarette:
"Ben darling, you must refrain from petit bourgeois moral constraints. I was always telling your father that. To be honest though I am starting to tire of Piers. It may be time to, how shall I put this, trade him in for a new model".

As she speaks, Ben's mobile rings. It is Kyle, who informs him of the events at the wine shop. Ben is very concerned and looks at Madame Camboux:
"I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but I suspect there is an android in this Chateau. Is Piers entirely normal?"Madame Camboux stares at him blankly. Ben goes on:
"Look, I know this is going to sound bizarre but I have experience of dealing with androids and aliens. I used to travel with someone called the Doctor in a time and space machine. Look I know how weird this sounds."Madame Camboux smiles:
"Ben darling, I don't want to shock you but I know the person that you speak of. A long time ago I travelled with him too for a short while. We met in Paris. He said he was on holiday and that his partner Romana was off at some art gallery. We journeyed in his TARDIS".Ben is shocked:
"For how long?"
"Oh just a few trips. Eventually he wanted to continue his travels with Romana. However he did give me Sebastian as a parting gift. He is a space cat . His intelligence is far beyond that of earth felines."Ben stares at Sebastian:
"Madame, I suspect a connection between the stolen wine and this alien cat. It is too much of a coincidence. Could Piers be an alien android sent to kidnap Sebastian?"
Sebastian looks concerned. Suddenly there is a scream from upstairs. Madame Camboux drops her cigarette:
"Oh no that was Piers. Someone is attacking Piers........"

............... to be continued.

"CHATEAU OF DEATH" Part 2

2010-02-16T08:57:00.000-08:00

OK people, here is part 2 of this cross-channel classic:

"CHATEAU OF DEATH": Part 2

The darkness slowly lifts from Ben's mind as his consciousness emerges from the caverns of silence. He percieves himself to be lying on the bed as Madame Camboux caresses his head and strokes his hair:
"What.... what happened?" Ben asks confused.
"Giselle the maid found you unconscious on the floor. I cannot imagine who could have done this to you and in my home."Giselle enters with a poultice which Madame Camboux applies to the lump on Ben's head. She looks at the maid:
"Summon all the other servants immediately downstairs, I wish to speak to them".
"Yes Madame" Giselle replies, sheepishly leaving.
Ben looks around the room, his head throbbing:
"I'm not sure that one of your servants did this. More likely to be that Piers after how he spoke to me earlier. I fear you spoil him Madame."Just as Ben speaks, Piers arrives in the doorway.
"What is this? Why do you accuse me? I know nothing of this. This english boy is trying to turn you against me."Madame Camboux looks up:
"Nonsense Piers. Please don't make another scene. Ben is just confused."Meanwhile Ben notices that the wine is missing:
"Its gone. The bottle of 1865 claret I bought for you as a present. Its worth over £150. *looking at Piers* What have you done with it? You are clearly a thieving freeloader."Piers kicks over a chair, tears streaming down his face.
"This is not true."

Meanwhile Katie and Kyle are sitting in a street bar in Aix enjoying a cold beer each. Katie feels relaxed:
"This town is very beautiful. Its a shame that England doesn't have the same civilised drinking culture that the French have. Too many of your type spoil it by binge-drinking on vodka."Kyle sips his beer:
"I ain't a vodka drinker. Never 'ave bin".
"I suppose we'd better make a move. Ben asked me to do an errand for him before we go back" Katie comments.
"What?"
"Return to that exclusive wine shop where he bought the claret for Madame Camboux. He spotted a bottle of finest Duke de Richelieu absinthe and wants it to take home, along with some 1932 Chateau de Bomboux red".As she speaks, Craig and Isobel appear.
"Ere 'ave you two had a good look round?" Kyle asks.
"We found a peaceful French cemetary where we sat and wrote some poetry" Isobel replies quietly, her delicate eyes looking at Craig.

Later the four of them arrive at the wine shop. It has an old fashioned exterior with a range of expensive old wines in the window in dusty bottles. The sign reads:
"Pierre Rouseac: Vintage Wines"
in French. The door is ajar yet there seems to be no one in the shop. Katie strides in:
"Hello? Anyone here? Mr Rouseac?"Suddenly she sees a body on the foor, blood oozing from its head. Kyle and the others enter and Isobel faints.There is a noise from the cellar below the shop.
"Ere you lot stay put and I'll see who's down there" Kyle whispers.Slowly Kyle descends the cellar steps. As he enters the cellar he sees a man with a goatie beard ferreting around among the wines as if searching for one in particular. He hears Kyle and spins round brandishing a crowbar. Kyle decides that attack is the best form of defence and launches himself at the man, knocking the crowbar out of his hand. The man lands a punch on Kyle's mouth then grabs a bottle of wine which he smashes. He goes to glass Kyle however Kyle knees him in the scrotum and grabs his face in the Chelsea bowl-lock. As he does so, he is shocked to see the man's face some away in his hand revealing wires and robotic mechanics. The robot pushes a shelf of wine bottles into Kyle and staggers out and up the staris towards the others..............

............... to be continued.

Ben Chatham in "Chateau of Death" : Part 1

2010-01-31T13:16:00.000-08:00

Ben Chatham was relaxing on the sofa enjoying a glass of one of the most exclusive french absinthes available. Opposite him lounged a still beautiful and immaculately dressed woman in her early fifties who smoked a cigarette with elegant grace. Ben congratulated himself on deciding to take up the offer of Gisele Camboux, the successful French actress and a friend of his father, to stay with her in her Chateau on the outskirts of Aix-En-Provence in the south of France. Madame Camboux was intrigued by Ben:
"So tell me darling, what made you decide to visit me again after all this time? You know I simply adore you and yet you wait so long?"
"I've had one of the most stressful weeks of my life. First of all there was the problem with Jake being arrested for selling mushroom flapjack to the woman who runs the canteen at Cambridge police station. Apparently the uniformed officers spent the next two days staggering around the streets of Cambridge seeing turquoise flowers in the sky while two CID officers set up a peace camp outside the station lavatory. I had to use Operation Delta's special status to get him off."
Madame Camboux smiled:
"Oh how drearily bourgeois of them. Here in France we expect our police officers to relax a little."
Ben continues:
"Then I had a chance meeting with an ex of mine Charles in the Fitzwilliam Museum. I expect he was visiting friends in Cambridge as the last I heard he'd emigrated. I tried to talk to him and he just said 'Hi Ben' and walked off. No attempt at conversation at all".Ben's dark eyes fill with tears and his golden fringe falls over his face. Madame Camboux goes over and hugs him closely, stroking his hair.
"Poor, poor Ben."As she does so, a young man of nineteen enters with another bottle of absinthe. It is Piers, Madame Camboux' young boyfriend, a model from Paris. Piers stares angrily at her comforting Ben:
"Hey what is going on? Why do you hold him so close?"
Madame Camboux looks up:
"Don't be jealous darling. Ben was upset."
Piers is petuant:
"You make me very upset by hugging this English boy." He throws a glass at Ben which just misses and storms out.

Meanwhile Katie and Kyle are taking Craig and Isobel round Aix-En-Provence to see the city. Ben wanted to use the holiday to broaden Craig's interests a little. Having looked at the Cathedrale St Sauveur they were about to go to the Musee du Vieil Aix. Craig is unhappy:
"This is not stirring my interest. I'm bored and tired."
Katie frowns:
"Oh stop whining. I'd have thought you'd love gothic cathedrals. You'd certainly like french poetry, you being such a moody, depressed youth."
"Yeah but me and Isobel just want to go round on our own. Then I might appreciate stuff without you slagging it off".
Katie laughs sardonically:
"Ha, you'll be laughed at by the locals because of that ridiculous emo get up . The youth of Aix are immaculately dressed, they don't skulk around in black."
Kyle intervenes:
"Ere just leave him alone alright. Let 'im and Isobel go round on their own an' we'll find a bar or summat".
"Which means I'll be stuck in Aix all afternnoon alone with a chav. Great!" Katie retorts.

Back in the Chateau, Ben has gone to his room fetch a bottle of 1865 claret that he had bought for Madame Camboux as a present. As he fetches it out of his bag he senses someone in the room behind him. Before he can turn around he feels a blow to the back of the head and then the darkness rushes over him........

.......... to be continued.

Two major new Bowie releases

2010-01-25T13:01:00.001-08:00

His first album has just been re-released and also a double CD set of the Reality tour. Both essential.

My Big Finish pitch has been submitted!

2010-01-24T09:57:00.000-08:00

I'm very proud of it. I've tried to go back to basics with it. Hopefully Ben Chatham will soon be on audio.

Ben Chatham on Big Finish Audio?

2010-01-21T10:31:00.000-08:00

I have the pleasure of announcing that I will be submitting a Ben Chatham story to Big Finish.

Coming Soon: The New Ben Chatham Story: "Chateaux of Death"

2010-01-10T09:05:00.000-08:00

Watch this space.

Maggie Jones RIP

2009-12-02T10:56:00.000-08:00

Sad news that the actress playing Blanche Hunt in Corrie has died. She was the best character in the soap & Maggie delivered her put-downs & acerbic comments perfectly. RIP

New Ben Chatham story: Coming Soon!

2009-11-12T11:52:00.000-08:00

Exciting news folks. A Brand new Ben Chatham adventure "REBIRTH" is in the pipeline.

Poor BBC publicity/scheduling of Waters of Mars

2009-11-08T13:54:00.000-08:00

The publicity has been minimal and scheduling it for any random Sunday night is ridiculous. Obviously it should have been shown on Halloween.

Morrissey's 'Swords' tour

2009-11-08T13:51:00.000-08:00

I'm starting to worry that this might be Moz's last tour. First he collapses onstage and then someone throws a bottle in his face. I'd be inclined to take a rest from live shows and concentrate on writing & recording.

The X Factor

2009-11-08T13:48:00.000-08:00

I'm really enjoying this rubbish of late. Personally I'd like to see Jedward win.

A German language version of Doctor Who

2009-10-18T12:15:00.000-07:00

When I was in Germany, it struck me that the language barrier would be a real problem. Not all Germans speak any English and therefore this restricts how many would watch Doctor Who. Obviously the show could be shown dubbed in English or with subtitles but neither really convince. A better solution would be to film each scene several times, once in English, once in German & maybe once in French also. This would widen to appeal of the programme.

The Daily Mail, Stephen Gately & the art of subtle homophobia

2009-10-16T14:19:00.000-07:00

I see that Jan Moir's article on Gately's death is causing a wave of complaints. Having read it earlier she certainly appears to be an effective user of subtle insinuation. Nothing overt is said, instead words like 'unnatural', 'lonely', 'sad' etc are dropped in to create a sense of distaste in the minds of the blue rinse brigade. She then claims that his death (of natural causes) somehow strikes a blow against civil partnerships. Er how? Odd woman.

GDR Architecture

2009-10-16T14:17:00.000-07:00

Completely underrated in my view. The buildings in the former East Germany have a sense of natural symmetry and solidity. The TV tower is particularly impressive.

I Have Returned From Berlin

2009-10-16T14:16:00.000-07:00

A fine city indeed.

DVD recommendation: "The Avengers" series 1&2

2009-10-05T10:33:00.001-07:00

This excellent set is out today folks. Contains all of series 2 featuring Honor Blackman as Cathy Gale. Also the surviving series 1 episodes with Ian Hendry as Dr Keel.

A Ben Chatham movie synopsis: "DELIVERENCE"

2009-10-04T07:35:00.000-07:00

OK, here is a synopsis for a Ben Chatham feature film which I hope would really push some of the characters to the limits and add variety to the canon:

DELIVERENCE

Following a series of threatening phone calls, Kyle Scott discovers that he is under threat from a criminal gang that he once did robberies for and whom wrongly believe that Kyle has hidden profits from. Knowing that Kyle is a reformed character, Ben pledges to support his friend. The gang send an enforcer named Garrard round to Ben's apartment. Finding it empty he proceeds to trash the place only for Katie Ryan to stumble in on him. Katie is kidnapped by Garrard who subjects her to threatening acts.

Ben and Kyle track down Garrard to his flat where they find him and a corrupt police inspector named Reece threatening Katie. A fight ensues and Garrard is accidently shot by Kyle while Reece escapes. Fearing retribution by both the police and the gang, Kyle goes on the run, while Ben & Katie decide to stay put and report Reece.Ben and Katie are arrested and charged with Garrard's murder.

Meanwhile, Kyle travels to London. While at Liverpool Street station he overhears a musician saying that he has been evicted from his basement flat for non-payment of rent. Kyle strikes up conversation with him & gets the address. Going round to the flats he breaks into the basement and goes to bed. Waking up, he finds himself surrounded by two naked young women who seduce him. Kyle learns that the flats are owned by a former rock singer Zeno Valiant , who quit the music business after fans shouted 'Judas' at him for sacking his popular lead guitarist Johnny Ramm. Valiant is a transvestite and he & the girls offer Kyle mindbending mushrooms. Kyle is puzzled by the strange transluscent glow coming from the mushrooms and Valient reveals that he actually an alien who has travelled to earth to start a movement to move mankind onto a new plane of consciousness. He tells Kyle that he wants to break down his ego. Kyle tries the mushrooms and feels the violent urges he was having disappear.

Ben & Katie are released on bail and determine to find Kyle before either the gang or the police. Kyle left without taking his phone however Ben & Katie work on the hunch that he is in London. Travelling to the capital, they are clueless what to do next. However Ben has the idea of visiting Kyle's mother. They find her off drugs and willing to co-operate. She tells them that she had a strange phone call from Kyle earlier in which he spoke of unlocking ones latent consciousness and revealed that he was living with Zeno Valiant but not where.

Ben & Katie leave & break into the offices of Valiant's record label at night. Chased by guard dogs they escape with the address.Going round to the flat they find Kyle in bed with the others. Ben and Katie are persuaded by Valiant to try the mushrooms and feel their consciousness' raised. The girls perform a naked dance. However Reece arrives with several armed gangsters who spray the flat with bullets. Valiant is killed, but as he dies his body disintegrates and transforms into thousands of butterflies which land on the gangsters. Their consciousnesses are changed and they put down their guns and start to play Valiant's instruments.

Later, Ben, Katie and Kyle all pledge to learn from this experience.

"ORCHIDS IN JUNE" Act 2 Scene 4

2009-10-04T05:40:00.000-07:00

Ok, here is scene 4 of the second dramatic act:

ACT 2: Scene 4

Everybody is gathered in the lounge. Inspector Rigby & PC Ware have arrived to ask questions

Inspector Rigby: Right. We have so far acertained that the corpse in the greenhouse belongs to a Mr Jethro Tull, a farmer over at Dorton-Bassett. *addressing Shaun* I understand sir that there was bad feeling between you and the deceased.

Shaun: Not really. The chap was ok.

Inspector Rigby: Come now sir, we wouldn't want to be evasive would we. Or it might have to be arranged for this interview to be conducted at the station where accidents have been known to happen, if you catch my drift sir.

Rosemary: Don't you threaten my husband. We are taxpayers.

Shaun: Ok, I admit that me and the farmer had a disagreement over some computer software. However I didn't kill him.

Amy: He like dumped a load of mingin cow**** on our path. I was like so upset when I fell in it.

Inspector Rigby: I thought something smelled like a sewer in here. I suggest you have another bath young madam.

Alistair: All of this talk of sewers and murder is too much. I may lie down here and die.

Rosemary: Don't worry darling, there is a ballet on at the weekend in London featuring three pieces in the style of Diagalev. I've booked us two seats.

Alistair: Oh thats marvellous. Can we fly to Greece next week to explore the Acropolis? I feel culturally bereft.

Shaun: Not on my money you can't. Earn your own.

Rosemary: Oh and I suppose you'll be spending it on your tart rather than on your family.

Estelle: Darlings, its very council to air your dirty washing in public. Let us consider the orchids.

Rosemary: Yes, when will that body be removed Inspector so I can examine them?

Inspector Rigby: When I say so madam and not before. When I have acertained who the killer is.

Shaun: I know who it is. There is a feral family that have just moved in down the street. The kids lurk about in hoodies and are obvious criminals. *points out the window* Look theres one of them now.

PC Ware runs out and comes back in dragging a hoodie youth by the collar

PC Ware: Here is the suspect sir.

Hoodie: I ain't done owt. Lemmie go or I'll slash yer up.

Inspector Rigby: Despite this youth's obvious criminality, I don't think he is our killer Ware. Check his pockets for drugs and bung him in the car.

Rosemary: If he didnt kill Tull then who did?

Inspector Rigby: Jethro Tull was battered to death with a piece of lead piping. Plumbers use piping. *Turns and points to Bob Ware* YOU are the killer!

Bob: Look mate, I'm innocent.

Estelle: Eeeeeeeeeek..........

................to be continued.

"ORCHIDS IN JUNE" Act 2 Scene 3

2009-10-04T05:36:00.000-07:00

OK folks, here is the next part of this cutting edge play:

ACT Two: Scene Three

Rushing out into the garden, Rosemary, Bob, Estelle and Alistair are shocked to see that Amy has tripped up and fallen headfirst into the pile of cow manure

Amy: *hysterical* Help .... this is like mingin.... ****in help me , **** mingin like

Rosemary: Oh my poor darling. Mr Ware please help my daughter. It won't matter if any of that manure gets on you as you already smell.

Bob:*helps Amy up* There you are luv.

Alistair: The smell is overpowering. I may faint.

Amy: *sob* I'm like so not going out tonight now.

Rosemary: Its high time this stuff was cleared away. Some of it has cascaded onto my marigolds.

Alistair: At least the orchids are safe mother.

Rosemary: Yes, I must have a look in the greenhouse to make sure that all the negative vibrations out here haven't caused them to droop. They feel you know.

Alistair: I feel the need for a cultural trip to Florence after all this vulgarity. I need to see a Botticelli.

Rosemary goes to the greenhouse and peers in. She lets out a shriek.

Rosemary: SSHRIIIIEEEEKKK! There's a b..b..body in there. My poor orchids.

Estelle: Oh darling how awful for them. Fetch the Doctor Bob!

Bob enters manfully and comes out with Doctor Smythe

Doctor Smythe: *peering into the greenhouse* That is indeed a body. I will inspect said deceased patient. Stand back madam.

He opens the door and enters the greenhouse. Rosemary peers in the door.

Alistair: Who was the cadavour whence once it breathed?

Rosemary: Its the farmer! He's been battered.

Bob: Are there any chips to go with 'im?

Rosemary: This is no time for levity Mr Ware. What will the neighbours think?

Dr Smythe: I suggest you call the police immediately. There is clearly a serial killer on the loose...........

........... to be continued

"Orchids in June" Act 2 Scene 2

2009-10-03T10:37:00.000-07:00

OK folks, here is the next scene of this major work:

ACT 2: Scene 2

Back at the house, Rosemary is having a mini breakdown

Rosemary: *dabs eye with hanky* I simply don't know how we can get through this. What must Alistair be going through? I don't feel in control of my life anymore. I need a valium.

Shaun: He'll be ok.

Rosemary: But how the hell do you know that Shaun. And what about the state of our marriage? We never talk anymore. I feel like its all falling apart, like we are just a bad habit.

Shaun: Look love, its probably just time of the month. Have a G&T and a sleep.

Rosemary: *shouting* While you go off to see your floozy?

Shaun: *aside to audience* A change of tack needed. *To Rosemary* Look love, I see the pressure is getting to you. I'll phone the Doctor.

Shaun exits stage left, while Bob & Estelle descend the stairs.

Bob: Er well, thats the toilet fixed. Well blocked it was. Whoever did that dump must've been constipated for a month.

Rosemary: *sniff* Well we did have a large meal yesterday. I made a beef chilli.

Bob: It smelt like it. I can still smell it on me hands. Did you know that at the time of his death Elvis Presley had fifteen pounds of compacted faeces in his bowels?

Estelle: Darling, I don't think Rosemary wants to hear about faeces. Can we be a trifle more refined. *squeezes Bob's behind*.

Suddenly there is a knock on the door.

Estelle: I'll open it darlings. She opens the door and in walks Alistair

Rosemary: *bursts into tears* My baby. *Hugs Alistair*

Alistair: It was horrible , absolutely ghastly. Horrible men acosting me and threatening to knock my teeth out.

Rosemary: Well I shall phone our solicitor. Its outrageous that the police should treat you like this. This is a respectable close not a sink estate.

There is another knock on the door. Estelle opens it and in walks the Doctor, a grey-haired man in his sixties. He carries a Doctors bag.

Doctor Smythe: Hello hello hello. Are you the patient?

Estelle: Not to my knowledge darling.

Rosemary: Er no its me. My husband called you, but there really is no need.

Doctor Smythe: Now let me be the judge of that madam. *pulls out stethoscope & listens to Rosemary's chest* Hmmm. There's something wrong with your heart. Also you look a bit yellow which suggests jaundice.

Alistair: Jaundice? This is awful. I might faint.

Estelle steadies him

Doctor Smythe: I'll give you some pills, these red ones are good. They're a general pick me up I found on the internet.

Suddenly there is a huge scream from outside in the garden...................

............... to be continued

"Orchids in June" Act 2 Scene 1

2009-10-03T10:32:00.000-07:00

Ok here is the much anticipated first scene of Act 2 folks:

ACT 2 : Scene 1

At the police station, Alistair is being interviewed.

Inspector Rigby: Ok, why not just spare us some time and just confess. I'm keen to get home as the wife has promised me a romp tonight.

Alistair: Look I'm not interested in your domestic arrangements. I am innocent.

Inspector Rigby: Balls. Just admit it, you poisoned the fondant fancies.

Alistair: Oh no I didn't. And I want to phone mummy's lawyer. I have a right to appropriate legal representation.

Inspector Rigby:*leans forward and grabs Alistair's shirt collars* Look ducky, we don't give a monkey's toss about rights in this station. Now confess or your teeth might emigrate from your mouth to parts foreign.

Alistair: This is absolutely beastly. Mummy will be furious. We pay our taxes so that the police can protect us from the criminal elements and instead we get treated as criminals ourselves. I did not poison Steve Crabbs.

There is a knock on the door and in walks PC Wold

Inspector Rigby: What the buggery **** do you want?

PC Wold: Sorry to disturb you Guv, however the initial report has come back from the lab.

Inspector Rigby: That was bloody quick.

PC Wold: Yeah Guv, we got Doctor Smythe to come in and do a quickie autopsy in the storeroom.

Inspector Rigby: What that old quack? Still if it gets the job done. What did he find?

PC Wold: He recons that the poison was not in the cake. Crabbs had also recently consumed a can of Stella and a beefburger. The poison was in the burger. It was Raisenanian, a slow acting rat poison.

Inspector Rigby: So it looks like this little twonk is off the hook. Ho hum.

Alistair: I would like an apology. My treatment here has been outrageous. Frankly I'm shocked that the police can behave so unprofessionally.

Inspector Rigby: Stop whining and bugger off. I'm off home for me oats. We'll resume the investigation tomorrow.......

..... to be continued

"Orchids in June" Act 1 Scene 8

2009-10-03T10:27:00.000-07:00

OK, here is the next part of this discerning play folks:

ACT 1 Scene 8

Everyone has moved back into the house where Alistair pours his mother a gin and tonic

Alistair: Drink this mummy, it will calm your nerves.

Rosemary: Thankyou darling, you are so thoughtful.

Jethro: What about moi computer?

Shaun: *to Inspector Rigby* When are you going to arrest this farmer? He clearly has a grudge against me and my family and is no doubt behind the poisoning. He must have been hoping I'd be first to grab a cake or else my wife.

Jethro: Ere daarn't you be accusin' me o' no paaaarsoning. Thaaaaat's slaaaarnder . Oooaaahhh slaaaander it be.

Inspector Rigby: Actually I have already used my powers of deduction to detect who the murderer is.

There is a sharp intake of breath from the cast. Cuthbert drops his glass.

Shaun: Well? Who is it then.

Inspector Rigby: The murderer is clearly..... *swings round and looks at Alistair* YOU! You baked the cakes so only you had opportunity to poison them.

Alistair: This is utterly preposterous. I put nothing untoward into my fondant fancies.

Rosemary: This is all too much *faints*

Estelle: Help her someone. This is most beastly.

Inspector Rigby: Wold arrest that boy! We will question him down at the station.

PC Wold grabs Alistair by his shirt collar and drags him offstage. Inspector Rigby exits with them.

Rosemary:*reviving* My poor baby *sob* what will happen to him? What will they say at the church institute?

Shaun: Oh well. Lets go to bed and deal with it tomorrow.

Rosemary: How can you say that when they're throwing your son in the cells?

Shaun: Look love, theres nothing we can do. Pull yourself together and have another G & T.

The doorbell rings. Rosemary opens it and in walks Bob Ware the plumber

Bob: Hullo. I've come to look at your blocked toilet.

Rosemary: Oh? But we didn't call you.

Shaun: I did love, before I came down earlier. I had a massive dump in the bog, a real ringstinger. When I flushed it it blocked. It overspilled.

Bob I'll 'ave a butchers at it.

Estelle moves up to him and strokes his face

Estelle: How about having a look at my plumbing first.

Bob: *grins* Yer on! Any holes a goal.They run upstairs.

Jethro: Roight I'm orfff. Oil be back tomaaarow with more a moi cow muck for eee alll unless oi gets moi computer looked at *exits stage left*

Rosemary: *dabs eyes* This is all too much. I feel like a cracked eggshell. ....

..... to be continued.

Tonight's 'Merlin'

2009-10-03T10:18:00.000-07:00

Once again, the BBC serve up another episode of this rubbish. Some points:

1) Why do the opening titles continue to refer to Merlin as a 'young boy' when he is clearly played by someone in his early 20s?

2) Why do the female characters wear 20th century undergarments?

3) Why does Arthur wear a modern suede jacket?

4) Why has a modern plate glass window just blown out of a castle wall?

It gets worse.

Absinthe recommendation: Absinthe Supreme

2009-10-03T10:15:00.001-07:00

This is a very fine slovenian absinthe with a high thujone content. It is very enjoyable to drink and produces positive effects.

A Season of Sequels

2009-10-03T07:17:00.000-07:00

A good idea for a future season of Nuwho would be to have an entire season - 13 eps- where every story is a sequel to a classic series one. 'The Web Planet' , 'The Celestian Toymaker' & 'Invasion of the Dinosaurs' all spring tomind as being ripe for sequels. This will encourage the viewers to check out classic series DVDs.

Elizabeth Sladen: wrong about 'K9 & Company'

2009-10-02T11:41:00.000-07:00

In the new DWM special on Sarah Jane Smith, Elizabeth Sladen criticises the script of 'K9 & Company' while praising 'The Sarah Jane Adventures'. Which only goes to show that actors are often a poor judge of their own work and of the quality of scripts. 'K9 & Company' had all the right elements; rural mystery, hints of the supernatural and eccentric English characters. Wheras much of SJA is just cultural bubblegum.

Feral yobs, bullying and weak authority

2009-10-02T11:26:00.000-07:00

The recent spate of cases involving bullying hoodie yobs and indifferent councils is indicative of the extent to which liberalism fails to protect the vulnerable in UK society. The hands of the police are tied as if they try to intervene 'Linda the Social Worker' bleats about the little darlings' rights while 'David the beardy council leader' complains that the victims are exaggerating and should ignore the abuse.
The worst case I've heard about this week is that of the school dinner lady who was sacked for revealing to some parents that their child was being bullied at school. While she clearly had a duty to follow school procedures, the fact is that bullying in secondary schools should be publicised not swept under the carpet.
Where authority is weak, the bullies rule. Sadly in Britain today too many in authority take the view that the victims are the problem & can't be bothered to do their jobs.

The decision not to award the 2016 olympics to Chicago

2009-10-02T11:22:00.000-07:00

This is the wrong decision and clearly motivated by a snobbish anti-americanism. Chicago has the facilities and the location to be perfect for such an event. President Obama & his wife mounted an excellent campaign. Rio on the other hand is ill suited.

The real Henry VIII

2009-10-01T03:15:00.000-07:00

The real Henry VIII. Nothing like Jonathan Rhys Meyers!

"The Tudors" tv series

2009-10-01T03:11:00.000-07:00

Further to my point about 'Merlin', I would like to emphasise that this is only one example of BBC dumbing down of historical drama. 'The Tudors' is another. Henry VIII did not look like Jonathan Rhys Meyers into middle age. He was obese by the 1530s and did not spend all day in bed with beautiful women. The programme makes no attempt to show historically accurate events.

Picture of the week: Hinckley Council Offices

2009-09-27T13:20:00.001-07:00

A fine example of modern architecture and innovative design.

A proposal for a Moffat era post-series 5 Doctor Who Movie

2009-09-27T10:44:00.000-07:00

Given that Stephen Moffat is likely to adopt a darker edge in his production values, I'd envisage an 11th Doctor movie to do the same.

DAY OF DELIVERENCE

The Doctor & Amy Pond land in Brighton in summer 2011 hoping for a weeks break. However the streets are deserted and no electronic equipment is working. Everyone has vanished.
While searching a deserted bar they stumble across an unconscious Ben Chatham. Reviving, Ben explains to them over a drink that the people vanished two months ago, apart from a squad of UNIT troops & himself who were in UNIT's Hove base inspecting some neolithic artifacts in the science lab. Since then giant rats have appeared in the towns and countryside & killed many troops. The Doctor speculates that the artefacts may contain a clue as to what has happened and they set off for the base in the TARDIS.
Inspecting the artefacts, the Doctor finds a dagger which emits a strange signal only he can hear. He recognises Time Lord technology.

Following a number of encounters with the rats, The Doctor & Ben discover that a utopian organisation called 'The Sons of Tomorrow' is behind the mystery. All people have been shrunk to the size of ants and placed in suspended animation, supposedly to allow the earth to return to its natural state. The plan is then to travel to a new larger planet. However the Doctor discovers that the group's leader is the Master who in actual face plans to place all of humanity in a spacecraft & detonate a bomb on it. Ben tricks the Master into boarding the craft himself and then the Doctor launches it prematurely before the miniturised humans have been loaded. The Master has no choice but to defuse the bomb and turn back for earth where he is placed under UNIT arrest after the Doctor has returned humanity to size.

DVD Recommendation: "The Keys of Marinus"

2009-09-27T10:21:00.000-07:00

This underrated story is an absolute must for any Doctor Who fan. Each episode is a story in itself as the Doctor, Ian, Barbara & Susan flit about the planet searching for the keys. The Voord are an excellent mysterious enemy, although rather underused in the story. The support cast are excellent, especially the superb actor playing Athos. There could have been more extras on the DVD, but the story itself is worth the price.

The BBC series 'Merlin'

2009-09-27T10:08:00.000-07:00

I watched this last night and it was even worse than I remember the last series being. What on earth are the BBC thinking? The castles and costumes are decidedly late medieval despite King Arthur supposedly being around in the early saxon era. The 'blind casting' I can understand however the general standard of the acting in it is terrible, although I suspect the Royal Shakespeare Company would struggle to impress given the banality of the scripts. The story arc doesn't seem to be going anywhere; there is no sign yet of Uther dying so that Arthur can pull the sword from the stone, no knights of the round table on the horizon; nothing. Rather than the Arthurian legends we just get huge dollops of Lord of the Rings style dragons & the like.
Only worth watching for the eye candy Arthur & Merlin and the amusement value of a Victor Meldrew wizard.

Audiobook recommendation: Doctor Who: "Hornet's Nest"

2009-09-13T08:54:00.000-07:00

I listened to the first CD in this 5 CD series last week, "Stuff of Nightmares" and its excellent. Not only does it feature the return of the 4th Doctor (Tom Baker) & Mike Yates, but also the plot evokes the best of the classic series. It has eccentric English characters and a creepy, original alien menace. An essential purchase. Steven Moffat should consider using this in the TV series.

"ORCHIDS IN JUNE": Act 1 Scene 7

2009-09-13T07:19:00.000-07:00

ACT 1: Scene 7

The Inspector & PC Wold rush outside followed by everyone else (onstage the lights dim & the stagehands run on & change the set while a bit of music plays - Mozart)Outside Jethro has dumped a load of manure outside the lane's house with his tractor & trailer (the stagehands empty a couple of wheelbarrows onto the stage)

Rosemary: Oh sugar! How awful. Our patio is covered with filth.

Jethro: Thaaat'l teach your 'usband to diddle me.

Shaun: Remove that **** at once.

Jethro: What about moi computer? Oi waaaant it fixed roight or thaaat stays where oive daaarmped it.

Rosemary: Inspector, please arrest this farmer for vandalism.

Inspector Rigby: I'm afraid this is a civil matter. What concerns me is the murder.

Alistair: This is typical of the police today. Respectable people are at the mercy of criminal activity and the police do nothing. What is to stop all decent people having mounds of cow dung dumped on their doorsteps?

Rosemary moves to the front of the stage and addresses the audience poigniantly. A single tear appears in her eye

Rosemary: Oh that this too too solid flesh would melt,
thaw and resolve itself into a dew.
To be or not to be a respectable middle-class person,
that is the question.
Whether it is nobler in the mind to put up with the rising tide of crime in Brown's Britain,
or to slash your wrists up and die,
entering that undiscovered country,
where unto the breach we go.
Out, out brief candles,
and yet, what light from yonder window does break?
It is the light of hope,
that the police will arrest all hoodies, druggies and oddball farmers,
and chuck them in prison.

Estelle: Well said darling!

Alistair: That was beautiful mother.

Jethro: What about moi computer?

........... to be continued

"ORCHIDS IN JUNE" Act 1 Scene 6

2009-09-13T06:09:00.000-07:00

OK, here is scene 6:

ACT 1: Scene 6

PC Wold gathers everyone into the lounge

PC Wold: The Inspector is on his way. This is a serious matter. I have acertained that the last thing the deceased did was to eat a fondant fancy.

Amy: *sobbing* This is like so unfair.

Alistair: I baked those fondant fancies myself earlier. I vouch for them.

Shaun *to PC Wold* Are you seriously implying that one of us fiddled with my son's fondant fancies?

PC Wold: Yes. I suspect poison.

Amy: *sobbing* This is like so.... *sob* like....

Rosemary: What will the neighbours think? This is a respectable area.

There is a knock on the door and it opens. Estelle elegantly glides in.

Estelle: Evening darlings *notices atmosphere* Why what has happened? You all look so displaced.

Rosemary: A drug-addled yobbo has been poisoned by one of Alistair's cakes.

Estelle: Oh darling how utterly awful for you.

Offstage the sound of a car drawing up is heard. Inspector Rigby enters

Inspector Rigby: Hello hello. Whats been going on here. Nobody move. I'll inspect the body.

He goes offstage into the other room. Then he comes back.

Inspector Rigby: He's definitely dead. Nobody move.

Cuthbert: Can I please go to the boys' room lovvie. I'm simply bursting.

Inspector Rigby: Stay where you are until you have been searched.

Cuthbert: You can search me anytime you want luvvie *winks*.

Inspector Rigby: *to PC Wold* Constable, give that man a good feel all over in case he has a concealed phial of deadly poison.

Rosemary: You can't seriously suspect any of us. We are respectable people.

Inspector Rigby: I suspect all including you.

Alistair: *flicks floppy hair back defiantly* Now look here. I'm going to have my say. This thug has clearly died as a result of drug abuse. How dare you imply that mother could be a suspect. You are just a minor public servant.

Cuthbert: Well said Alistair dear.

Inspector Rigby: Until I have got to the bottom of this you are all suspects.

Suddenly there is a loud thud outside

THUD

Followed by a rumbling sound

RUMBLE

.............. to be continued

Gordon Brown's apology regarding the treatment of Alan Turing

2009-09-12T15:02:00.000-07:00

Well said and long overdue. An excerpt:

"Thousands of people have come together to demand justice for Alan Turing and recognition of the appalling way he was treated. While Turing was dealt with under the law of the time and we can’t put the clock back, his treatment was of course utterly unfair and I am pleased to have the chance to say how deeply sorry I and we all are for what happened to him. Alan and the many thousands of other gay men who were convicted as he was convicted under homophobic laws were treated terribly. Over the years millions more lived in fear of conviction.I am proud that those days are gone and that in the last 12 years this government has done so much to make life fairer and more equal for our LGBT community.
This recognition of Alan’s status as one of Britain’s most famous victims of homophobia is another step towards equality and long overdue.But even more than that, Alan deserves recognition for his contribution to humankind. For those of us born after 1945, into a Europe which is united, democratic and at peace, it is hard to imagine that our continent was once the theatre of mankind’s darkest hour. It is difficult to believe that in living memory, people could become so consumed by hate - by anti-Semitism, by homophobia, by xenophobia and other murderous prejudices - that the gas chambers and crematoria became a piece of the European landscape as surely as the galleries and universities and concert halls which had marked out the European civilisation for hundreds of years. It is thanks to men and women who were totally committed to fighting fascism, people like Alan Turing, that the horrors of the Holocaust and of total war are part of Europe’s history and not Europe’s present.
So on behalf of the British government, and all those who live freely thanks to Alan’s work I am very proud to say: we’re sorry, you deserved so much better.

Gordon Brown"

"ORCHIDS IN JUNE" Act 1 Scene 5

2009-09-06T07:55:00.000-07:00

Anyway, here is the next scene in this major stage play:

ACT 1: Scene 5

Alistair ushers everyone back into the house and pours the drinks

Rosemary: *taking glass*Thankyou darling. I don't know what I'd do without you. If only your father were so understanding.

Steve: Ere I'm bleeding. I've cut me arm and me soddin arse.

Rosemary: Well that serves you jolly well right for your immoral behaviour earlier. You lack a sense of personal integrity.

Steve: Leave me alone you crabby old bitch.

Alistair: Don't you insult my mother.

Jethro: What about moi computer?

Rosemary: We are not interested in your darn computer. Take it up with Shaun.

As she says this, Shaun emerges from upstairs in his dressing gown, entering stage left.

Shaun: Whats all this noise? I'm trying to sleep.

Jethro: Oi waaaaant you to look at moi computer. That saaaaaaftware you saaaaald me has roight knackered it.

Shaun: Oh shut up you ridiculous yokel. *to Steve* What are you doing in my house?

PC Wold: I suggest we all calm down. Mr Lane, there has been an accident. However its all under control *downs glass of wine*.

Jethro: What about moi computer?

Steve: Shove it up your arse.

Jethro: Roight. If thaaaaats your last word then on your own 'ead be it. Don't say I didn't waaaarn eee. Red skoy in the marnin, shepherd's warnin'. *exits stage right*

Steve: My arse is sore.

Shaun: As said the curate to the Bishop.

Rosemary: Can we all please focus on sorting out our differences in an orderly way. I accept that Steven has done more harm to himself by his clumsy and immoral actions. I suggest we agree to part amicably.

Shaun: Stuff that. This yobbo can pay to replace my window. I go to work. He is a workshy layabout.

Amy: He's not. He's like just between jobs.

Alistair: Would anyone like a fondant fancy? *offers cake*

Steve grabs a cakeThere is a knock on the door and Rosemary opens it. In walks Cuthbert Leeman, the sixtysomething next door neighbour

Cuthbert: Sorry to intrude on you darlings but I just had to join you as I adore conversation. Mmmm fondant fancies, how delicious *takes a cake and gives Alistair's bottom a feel*.

Suddenly Steve keels over and makes a choking sound

Steve: *choke* the.... cake......can't ..... throat burning......

He goes silent. PC Wold inspects him

PC Wold: What have we here then? He's dead.

Amy: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!

PC Wold: Nobody move! I suspect foul play.......

...... to be continued.

"ORCHIDS IN JUNE" Act 1 Scene 4

2009-09-06T07:49:00.000-07:00

ACT 1: Scene 4

Rosemary and Alistair rush outside. They see that Steve has tripped up and fallen through the side of the greenhouse. Amy is pulling him up

Amy: Relax and let me pull you

Steve: Pull harder babe

Rosemary: You thug! You've knocked over two orchid pots and squashed my husband's tomatoes

Alistair: This is outrageous. We are decent people. I'm phoning the police *fiddles with his mobile*

A middle-aged man opens the gate and walks up the path

Jethro: *to Rosemary*Do you be Mrs Lane?

Rosemary: *lighting a cigarette* I am. What do you want?

Jethro: Oi waaant to speak to your 'usband.

Rosemary: What on earth about at this hour? He's in bed.

Jethro: Oi waaant to speak to im about moi computer. Eeee sold me some saaaaftware to record moi faaaarm sales ahn. An its roight buggered it up. Oi was entering moi sheep an it crashed on I.

Rosemary: You mean to say you've come round here about a work matter? See him at his office. How did you get this address?

Jethro: Oi sees all an oi says nowt

A police car arrives. Offstage, flashing lights are shone onto the stage. A policewoman enters

PC Wold : Hello. I understand that there has been an incident here.

Rosemary: Yes. This yob has thrown a brick through our window and then proceeded to break the greenhouse while trying to molest my daughter.

Steve: Ere I haven't toutched her tonight ... yet. However I could really do a three in a bed sesh with 'er and you in that uniform.

PC Wold: Watch it or I'll nick you right now. *to Amy* Is your mother correct?

Amy: Dunno. Whatever.

Jethro: What about moi computer.

Alistair exits stage left and returns with a bottle of wine and five glasses.

Alistair: Let us partake in refreshment while we iron out these problems........

....... to be continued

"ORCHIDS IN JUNE" Act 1 Scene 3

2009-09-06T07:44:00.000-07:00

ACT 1 : Scene 3

Rosemary & Alistair enter the downstairs lounge and see the broken window

Alistair: What a ghastly mess. Who could have done this to us.

Rosemary: What will the neighbours think?

There is a snigger from outside & Steve's face appears learing through the hole in the glass

Steve: Ere it looks like someone's bruck yer ****in winder ***** - ha ha ha

Rosemary: You've done this. We had every right to report you to the police for dealing drugs to my daughter.

Steve: I'm gonna slash yer up

Alistair: Go away and leave us alone *flicks floppy hair back defiantly*

Amy enters

Amy: Oh like hi Steve. Fancy a shag?

Steve: Yeah babe

Amy rushes out to him & Rosemary screams

Rosemary: SCREEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAMMMM. I don't know what is happening to my life. I can't understand it.

Alistair: Don't upset yourself.

Suddenly there is a loud crash outside

CRASH......

........to be continued

"ORCHIDS IN JUNE" Scene 2

2009-09-06T07:39:00.000-07:00

ACT 1: Scene 2

Rosemary and Shaun are in the bedroom.

Rosemary: I know you are seeing that Carrie who works in your office. There is no point in denying it. *she flings a photograph at him* There!

Shaun casts a cursory glance at the picture

Shaun: So? We were engaged in a software discussion. And who took that picture? Have you been following me?

Rosemary: I've hired a private detective. I want to discuss our marriage in a full and proper way Shaun.

Shaun: Look love. You have a nice home & two nice kids. I give you plenty of money so stop whinging. If you don't like it you know where the door is.

Rosemary: *crying* Why are you being like this Shaun?

Shaun:*aside to audience* Methinks the daft trout is in need of some buttering. *To Rosemary* Look love, you know I really appreciate you. *Breaks wind* Now for some kip.

Suddenly the door flings open. It is Alistair

Alistair: Its awful, absolutely ghastly. How can I go on. *begins to sob hysterically*

Rosemary: Ally, what has happened?

Alistair: The Ensemble I booked for the Mozart recital on Saturday have pulled out. I may dash my brains out.

Shaun: Its time you got yourself a proper bloody job instead of doing voluntary work at that arts centre.

Rosemary: Don't shout at him Shaun. He's upset *moving over and cradling Alistair's head in her arms* my baby.

Shaun: Pass me the sick bucket

Suddenly there is a bang downstairs. Amy rushes in

Amy: Someone's like lobbed a brick through the window.

Shaun: Oh? I thought it was the toaster exploding. It just shows that you can't always recognise sounds. Anyroad, you deal with it . *turns over & goes to sleep*

..........to be continued.

"ORCHIDS IN JUNE" A Play for the Theatre

2009-09-06T07:33:00.000-07:00

"ORCHIDS IN JUNE" : A play for the theatre.

OK, taking a short break from Doctor Who/Ben Chatham fiction, I will post my play which is intended as a post-modern satire which blends elements of farce with straightforward drama.

Main characters:

Rosemary Lane: A mid- 30s suburban housewife
Estelle Hampson-Clark: Her friend , Oxbridge educated and the daughter of Viscount Reevesdale
Shaun Lane : Rosemary's husband, works for a computer software firm
Amy Lane: The Lanes' 17 year old daughter
Alistair Lane: Their 19 year old son
Bob Ware: the plumber & odd job man
Steve Crabbs: A drug-dealing hoodie with a grudge against the Lanes

Act 1 : Scene 1

In the Lanes' kitchen, Rosemary is chatting to Estelle and arranging orchids and roses in a vase.

Rosemary: Well what do you think? I do hope the colours of the roses don't clash with anything in this kitchen.

Estelle: Darling the whole arrangement is misconcieved. One simply should never mix orchids with other flowers and certainly not roses. It simply oozes vulgarity and the ignorant pretentions of new money. Orchids need subtelty and space. And that vase must go.

Rosemary: Oh but why? It was very espensive.

Estelle: It utterly reeks of John Lewis or some similar establishment. It lacks exclusivity and uniqueness. One feels it insults the orchids.

Rosemary: *tears welling up, dabs eyes with hanky* I never seem to get things right. No wonder Shaun is playing around with his secretary.

Estelle: Oh darling, we don't know this for certain yet. The private detective hasn't reported any findings yet has he?

Rosemary: Not yet.But I still know. I can tell when my husband is playing away. He eats more and doesn't fidget in bed.

The door bangs open and in walks Bob Ware the plumber

Bob: Hullo, I've come to look at your taps

Estelle: *gives his backside a squeeze* One simply adores a man with his shirtsleeves rolled up. Let me show you the upstairs bathroom....

They exit leaving Rosemary looking perplexed. In walks Amy:

Amy: I need money, like now

Rosemary: What for?

Amy: I need it now bitch. Just ****ing give us it

Rosemary: Ok darling *hands Amy £60 and Amy flounces out*.

Rosemary starts rearranging the orchids in a different vase.......

....... to be continued

"Caves of Oblivion" Part 6

2009-07-28T08:33:00.000-07:00

OK folks, here is the final part of this major and memorable story.

“CAVES OF OBLIVION” : Part 6

“I suggest we keep calm. We need a considered strategy or otherwise the earth is indeed doomed”, Ben states.
“What kind of bloody strategy then? Huh? What?” Jim replies.
“Please calm down. It is already in hand. Kyle and K9 will accompany me into the caves where we will return the crystals. However before we leave, we will need dynamite and lots of it.”
“They have plenty of that in the quarry two miles from here” Jed comments.
“OK Jed, you will need to risk going out as well. Drive to the quarry and obtain some. If they object, show them my Operation Delta card”. Ben passes his card to Jed.
“Brave Jed” Katie whispers, squeezing his inner thigh.

Later, after Jed has returned with the dynamite, Ben, Kyle & K9 set out in Bessie for the caves. In the back of the car with K9 is a box with the crystals in. The wind howls all around the car and debris blows about in the swirling air.
“Ere this wind is getting stronger. I dunno whether we’ll make it, its enough to blow the car over” Kyle remarks. Ben studies himself in the car mirror:
“I’m more immediately concerned about the mess its making of my hair”. Ben passes his hand through his luscious blonde hair trying to keep it in shape. Arriving near the cave entrance, they disembark and Kyle struggles through the wind with the box and with a package containing the dynamite. K9 goes first into the cave. As they enter, dark , clawed shapes begin to materialise.
“It’s the dark ones taking material form. Blast them K9!” Ben shouts.
“Affirmative Master!” K9 replies, shooting at the shapes. They vanish and Kyle and Ben rush quickly through the dark passages. Eventually they reach the excavation site. Kyle throws down the crystals and starts to set up the dynamite,
“This should blast the whole roof down like. Enclose these things here under rock.”
“That’s the idea Kyle. How did you learn how to use explosives by the way?” Ben asks.
“Oh my mates did a bit of safebreakin’ once & showed me how” Kyle replies.
“For pity’s sake, I wished I hadn’t asked” Ben replies.

As they rush out of the caves, the dark shapes begin to form again and a shaking starts like an earthquake.
“Those things are trying to trap us in here Kyle. Run faster” Ben shouts.They rush out of the entrance & K9 blasts the roof of it causing a collapse.
“Now for the real explosion” Kyle shouts, grinning as he pushes the detonator. There is a massive explosion and the whole cave collapses, encasing its chambers in tons of rock. The wind stops howling and all is calm
Excellent work Kyle! The crystals will remain harmless as long as they stay there.”

Meanwhile, back at the centre, the two boys are standing in the lounge, their eyes glowing blue. One of them speaks:
“You have successfully returned the crystals to their safe abode. Soon we will return to them and sleep. The threat from our dark side is over. However, before we go, we offer you a gift.”He stretches out his arm and opens his hand. Inside is a cube.
“Within this cube is our message to humanity. It contains the esoteric wisdom of the Atlanteans. Give it to the one called the Doctor for he will know how to access it.”The boys then collapse and their eyes return to normal. They wake.
“Hey like where are we? We was like in the caves and now we are like here.”
“You were possessed by aliens you little crap. Your own fault for bloody well wandering off” Jim replies sternly. Jed and Katie make an excuse to go upstairs. Finding one of the dorms, they put a chair against the door and get down to it on one of the beds.

Later, Ben and his team are discussing the case in the Mermaid Wine Bar. Ben holds the cube in his hand.
“Well, I look forward to touching base with the Doctor again soon. I wonder what knowledge and insights are contained within this. Anyway, I propose a special toast to Kyle and K9 for their major role in saving the day here.”They all raise their glasses to Kyle and K9, the latter sat up on a chair . Katie and Jed hold hands under the table.

Later as they chat, a familiar song plays on the jukebox. It is Michael Jackson’s “Ben”.
“Hey Ben, they’re playing your song” Corinne states. Ben looks sad:
“Do you know that Michael once sang this song to me personally. The Doctor once took me & Rose to one of his concerts in the TARDIS and afterwards we met him. He told me I was a very special person and sang this for me.”
“That’s lovely Ben” Corinne replies, “It is so sad that the King of Pop is no longer with us. I suggest we have another toast; to Michael Jackson!”
The team raise their glasses once more and Corinne sings “You Are Not Alone”.………

………. THE END

"Caves of Oblivion" Part 5

2009-07-24T03:18:00.000-07:00

OK folks, here is the next part of this story, inspired by the best eras of Doctor Who.

“CAVES OF OBLIVION” : Part 5

Ben stares at the possessed boy as the wind howls outside:
“Then tell us your knowledge now. What are the secrets of the Clanac Empire? And who are these ‘Dark Ones’?”The boy stares at Ben:
“Many centuries ago we visited your world. Our Empire was based on the provision of enlightenment and knowledge and we were eager to seek out new frontiers to expand to and develop. We were not a culture of conquest but a culture of mutual benefit. At the time we the Clanac elders had just entered the stage of deliverance.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Katie feistily asks:
“We had found a way to transcend death & exist as pure mental energy. Our scientists had discovered the crystal caves and unlocked the inner energy of the crystals. The crystals enabled us to abandon our dying bodies . They also brought us the ultimate in self-development ; it seemed that all our negative qualities that our culture had suppressed but never destroyed, such as hate and anger, just disappeared from our thoughts. All that remained was…. Was love.”
“Far out man!” Jake comments. The Clanac continues:
“We came here to give your primitive culture a helping hand. We brought knowledge and wisdom to one of your early civilisations; you know it as Atlantis. Our hope was that the Atlanteans would spread this wisdom all over the earth and that in time this planet would join our Empire. We even brought some of the crystals here and hid them in various locations around the globe such as this cave; our gift to you.”

Jake lights a spliff and plays ‘Atlantis’ by Donovan on his guitar. Ben is irritated:
“Jake, please refrain from that. *to the Clanac* None of this explains why your Empire collapsed or why you have taken over those boys. Please explain these matters.”
“Forgive us. We occupy these bodies as a mode of communication. The earth boys are quite unharmed. We need to warn you of the dangers of the crystals. As long as they remain buried they are safe. Away from fresh air & sunlight . However your people found these crystals and several were removed from the site.by your archaeologists.”
“So what? We needed to analyse them properly” Jed comments.
“What we Clanac didn’t realise was that all that negative energy inside us had to go somewhere. It was taken within the crystal itself, amplified and then eventually thrown out in the form of destructive energy and the Dark Ones. They are our inner hatreds made massive. Our Empire collapsed because of violent destructive weather, explosions and …. And the monsters that the negative energy gave force to. Whole planets were ripped apart.”
“And now this destruction is starting here” Ben says in horror as the wind outside gets stronger and uproots another tree.

Meanwhile, in the village, an elderly couple are driving down the road as the wind gets stronger.
“This wind is getting worse Percy” the woman says. Suddenly they see a fallen tree in front of them and Percy stops the car.
“We’ll have to walk the rest of the way Mabel. Then phone the bobbies about this tree”. Another telephone pole blows down.
“This is like in the war Percy. We was happy then. I remember when the jerries dropped that bomb on the gasworks and they brought all them bodies out. Some had no ’eads left on. And all we ad to eat was a tin of sardines a month but we was happy”.
“They were good old days Mabel, none of them hoodies about.”As they get out of the car, a sense of deep fear grips them as a dark shadow approaches. The shadow envelopes them and rips them to shreds. Then it advances towards the pub………”

Back at the Centre, things are tense.
“So what the bloody hell do we do then. Just sit here & wait to bloody die?” Jim Harries exclaims. Ben takes charge:
“I suggest we keep calm. We need a considered strategy or otherwise the earth is indeed doomed”………..

………….. To be continued.

"Caves of Oblivion" part 4

2009-07-19T07:12:00.000-07:00

Anyway, here is the next part of this gripping archaeological themed story folks.

“CAVES OF OBLIVION”: Part 4

Ben leaps forward and grabs the boy by the arm:
“What have you done to this boy? Why are you inside his body?”The possessed boy’s eyes glow a bright shining blue:
“Have no fear. I Asiron and he Alteron have not harmed the earth waifs. They will be returned to you. We are here from the great sleep to bring you knowledge, but also a great warning. The dark ones approach………”Suddenly there is a rumble and a crash.
“Great scott, it’s a rockfall” Jed shouts.
“Run for it team!” Ben shouts, ushering the boys out of the way of a large rock.
Katie and Corinne scramble after Jed & Jim who lead the way:
“It was outrageous that you ever allowed caving trips in here at all” Corinne states.
“Look love, we’ve found the kids okay so just shut it” Jim shouts back.

Back at the centre, the scramble out of the caves has been too much for the boys, who collapse unconscious. They are put to bed while Ben holds a team meeting in the lounge. Paul Farraday suggests a course of action:
“Clearly we cannot tell their families that they’ve been found yet as they are under the alien presence. At the moment they seem fine in the physical sense, bar the blue-glowing eyes and unconsciousness”.Jim is annoyed:
“Well what about the bloody whingeing parents on my back?”
“Look Harries, there are more important things going on here than your damn legal situation” Ben replies. Jake strums his guitar several times and looks up:
“Like earlier in the lab when Paul was inspecting the crystals and had visions. Man I felt something too. I sensed two sets of vibes, one benign and one deadly. The crystals man they’re groovy, they’re ok. But theres something out there…. In space.. Bad energy.”Paul agrees:
“I sensed the same thing. I believe that those crystals are containers of some kind which house the knowledge and images of an entire civilisation.”
“The Clanac Empire….” Ben adds:
“ The Clanac must have visited earth many centuries ago. But why? Essentially we can’t do anything until they can communicate again through the lads. I suggest a chill break.”

During the break, Ben enjoys a drink with Paul & Corinne, while Katie and Jed get close on the sofa watching a repeat episode of Inspector Morse on the lounge tv:
“So how long have you been working with Ben?” Jed asks.
“On and off for several years now, both on archaeological projects and on … well the extraterrestrial matters. How about you? Do you have a girlfriend?”
“Not at the moment.” He winks at Katie and slides a hand inside her blouse.
“In that case you’re on. We’ll watch the rest of this & then go upstairs” Katie replies, groping his buttocks.
Suddenly there is a strange howling sound from outside. Looking out the window they see a huge wind has started up. A tree is blown over and crashes onto the centre roof cracking a window. The tv goes off and there are a series of huge bangs as telephone poles blow down.One of the boys appears at the door, blue eyes glowing:
“They are coming: the dark ones. We have a short time to impart our knowledge. Or great destruction will befall this place and the sea will swallow everything….. Just as before……”

……….. To be continued.

5 year MOTs for teachers!

2009-07-03T13:25:00.000-07:00

The government now wants teachers to have to pass a 'five year MOT' and obtain a licence to go on teaching. What complete nonsense ; presumably it is designed to provide a neat soundbite to appeal to Mr Suburban who thinks teachers do no work and have half the year off on holiday.
The problem with it is simply that it will fail to root out bad teachers. Indeed it is not intended to as the 'MOT' will not be based on outcomes but on passing OFSTED style lesson observations designed to impose a certain style of (often not very effective) teaching and on willingness to embrace technological trends. The government has an ideological agenda to dumb down state education and to churn out gadflies able to zip around from one transient enthusiasm to another while being completely unable to sustain an elongated thought process or cope with lengthy concentration.
The simple way to root out bad teachers is to measure their students' examination results and add on values.

"CAVES OF OBLIVION": Part 3

2009-06-29T13:56:00.000-07:00

Here is part three of this eerie tale folks:

“CAVES OF OBLIVION” Part 3

Ben has convened a team meeting in the lounge of the centre. Lisa brings in a tray with coffee, bourbons and fresh cream. Corinne is concerned about Ben who is very tired after his experience:
“Ben, I think we need to explore your experience and pool ideas as a group. Can you tell us exactly what you saw in your mind?” She sips her coffee in a businesslike manner and lights a cigarette. Ben holds his head in his hands:
“It was very strange…. Surreal. I saw the beings in white and although they said nothing, I had a sense of great power. I just knew that they were warning me of something. Corinne I just have this feeling that those I saw were of the Clanac.” Ben replies.
Paul Farraday leans forward:
“The Clanac?”
“The Clanac Empire was one of the largest benevolent alliance of planets to have existed in the known universe. Their huge expansion was due to the appeal of their incredible artistic culture and perfectly planned and efficient economy . They never used wars of conquest. Like all Empires, it eventually broke up, however it left behind a most fascinating archaeology . The Doctor recently took me to the Museum of the Crystal Caves where it is housed.”
Paul sips his coffee:
“I think our first priority should be to explore the cave where the boys vanished, dangerous or not.”
They decide that Ben, Katie and Corinne will explore the caves while Paul & Jake analyse the crystals.

Later, Ben and the others are preparing to enter the caves with Jim & Lisa giving a brief introductory talk about the cave system and its labyrinthine meandering passageways. Jim is rather short-fused as he’s just had an altercation with one of the missing boys’ father:
“ Now I’ve just had that bloody trouble maker threatening us with legal action. The last thing I need is any other bugger going missing so just follow me and do as I bloody say.”He leads the way into the cave, with Ben and the others following. As they stumble in the dim, dank cave, Ben chats to Corinne:
“Its good to see you again Corinne. I’ve had a hard time recently what with splitting up with Anselm and then there is the whole saga of Nathaniel that you don’t know about. I could do with getting it all off my chest.” Corinne smiles:
“Your chest is perfect as it is Ben. Seriously though, are you sure that you know what you want? I mean don’t take offence but your relationships with men always seem problematic.”
Katie is extremely irritated that Ben is having a conversation about such personal matters with Corinne. She fakes a stumble in the dark so that she plunges forward & jabs her torch into Corinne’s back.
“Ow…. Hey watch it” Corinne shouts.
“Oh I’m so sorry. I lost my footing” Katie replies.

Meanwhile, back in the centre, Jake & Paul have set up a makeshift lab. Jake pokes at a crystal:
“Hey this is like wow man. It has a structure of amazing density. I dig its strange sounds.”Paul uses a welding torch on one and the crystal suddenly glows and pulsates. It shoots out a brilliant white light which shoots into Paul’s head. He collapses onto the floor . Dazed he looks up to see the light continuing to emerge from the crystal, but this time it forms a strange mist. Strange alien figures appear in the mist before vanishing.

Meanwhile, in the caves, Jim calls on the group to listen up:
“Right, this turning here leads into the mine shafts. We should be alright as its low tide, but they are prone to the odd roof cave in.”As he speaks, Corinne gives a gasp. They turn around to see two figures emerging from the mine tunnel. It is the two boys, however they are bathed in a strange, eerie glow and their eyes shine a luminous blue. The taller one speaks:
“I am Asiron. I am your guide to the knowledge of the Clanac. There is danger. Great danger. The dark ones come………”

…………..to be continued.

Michael Jackson has Died

2009-06-25T15:47:00.000-07:00

Surprising breaking news. 50 is no age really, not these days.

"Caves of Oblivion" part 2

2009-06-21T14:23:00.000-07:00

Ok folks, here is the dramatic second part of this story:

“CAVES OF OBLIVION”: Part 2

Ben and Kyle are driving up to Derbyshire in Bessie, on loan to Ben from the Doctor, while Katie & Jake follow behind in Ben’s own vintage car. In the back seat of Bessie is K9, whom Ben & Jake had managed to fix using instructions left by the Doctor. Ben is listening to ‘Moonage Daydream’ by David Bowie as the wind blows through his luscious golden hair.
“Its just great to be driving along on a warm summer day like this. Wouldn’t you agree K9?” Ben asks.
“Affirmitive Master” K9 replies.
Kyle fiddles in his pocket for his phone and starts to text.
“Don’t do that Kyle. Not while we are in the car.”
“I ain’t driving, you are!” Kyle replies.
“Its distracting me . I now have the urge to text myself but cannot because I’m driving. It is like waving temptation in my face.”Kyle throws down the phone.

Later on they all arrive in Brangem at the outdoor pursuit centre, which has been doubling up as the base for the archaeological dig. Jed (played by Rupert Hill) is waiting outside to greet them along with an older man in his early forties and a woman in her late twenties. Ben jumps out of Bessie and embraces Jed:
“Hey its good to see you. Its been a long time.”
“Too long Ben. I’ve missed you. We really need to keep in better touch.” Jed replies.Ben introduces Kyle, Katie & Shakey Jake. Katie is struck by Jed’s boyish good looks and feels an instant attraction to him. Jed stares at her, mentally undressing her, however he feels it best not to appear too full on so moves the conversation on:
“Ben this is Jim Harries, head of the centre here and this is Lisa, one of the instructors..”
“Any news about the two kids like?” Kyle asks.
“Nah. The police ‘av given up”, Jim replies, “they’re gonners. Its bin a bloody nightmare. I’ve just ‘ad the parents of one of em on the phone whinging and the other lot are already up here & stayin at the pub. This is all we bloody well need.”
“Isn’t there still a chance they’re still trapped?” Ben asks.
“Nah they’ve ‘ad it lad. Don’t look like that, I’m from Yorkshire and I say what I bloody well mean. I’m as sorry as anyone about this but accidents happen. Now no doubt some bloody no win no fee legal do-gooder ‘all try an get a fortune out of us. This place’ll go.”
“The caves intersect with a whole network of unstable mine shafts. And when it rains they flood out. It poured last night” Lisa adds.
Ben turns to Jed:
“What about these crystals Jed? Can I see them?”
“In here”. Jed bekons them into the centre.

They follow him into a hall which is full of labels laid out with archaeological finds being washed and boxed. Jed opens a box and lifts out a blue crystal. Ben instantly feels a strange pulsating feeling throughout his whole body and the room seems to go hazy and pulsate. He hears a strange sound like a violin and his legs give way. Ben feels himself floating through a great darkness however something materialises before him. Strange luminous beings in white robes and with indeterminate facial features. He senses that they are warning him of some great danger, yet does not know why.

Ben wakes to see himself surrounded by the others. Kyle wipes Ben's forehead with a damp tissue.
“Wh…what happened.? No I remember…. That crystal. That IS a crystal from Alzaneran 4, I recognise that sound. They have never had that effect before though.”As he speaks, the door opens and in come Paul Farraday & Corinne Shaw of Operation Delta who have just arrived . “Are you okay Ben? What happened to you?” Paul asks.Meanwhile Katie stares at Corinne:
“Nice to meet you again Corinne. You’re looking good, its surprising how well an older woman can , how shall I put this, scrub up!”Corinne smiles sardonically and flicks her hair to one side:
“You’re looking good yourself. Well all things considered…..”
Ben intervenes:*getting up* I think we need a proper team meeting. I think there is something very very dangerous going on here. The earth may be in mortal danger”

.…………..to be continued.

Rupert Hill & Michelle Collins in "Deceptions"

2009-06-20T12:32:00.001-07:00

I saw this excellent play this afternoon and thought it was very clever & thought provoking. Michelle Collins (Cindy in Eastenders) played a psychiatrist & Rupert Hill (Jamie Baldwin in Corrie) played a patient who was playing a deceptive game with her. Both were excellent.

2009-06-14T22:38:00.000-07:00

CAVES OF OBLIVION

Part 1

Ben Chatham is lying languidly across the sofa in his apartment eating strawberries and listening to Radiohead’s “Kid A”. He flicks his thick blonde hair out of his eyes and throws down the book on the archaeology of the Shetland Isles that he has been reading. As he does so, Kyle Scott walks in carrying a tray of cups, milk & coffee:
“Thanks Kyle. I’m bored out of my skull. I think my head will solidify at any moment.”Kyle grins:
“Oh cam on Ben. You were goin’ on yesterday about lovin’ all the peace & quiet with Craig & Isobel bein’ away stayin’ with your folks like.”
“Well yes, I’m hoping they’ll have Craig for the whole school holiday and give me some space. However look at me Kyle. My love life’s in ruins, I’m bored with everything and to cap it all there have been no new cases for Operation Delta for weeks. You know if it wasn‘t for you being here I really would be fed up. I do like having you around you know. ”
Ben dips another strawberry into the cream and elegantly eats it.
“Hows about we do sommat together today Ben? Theres a new bowling alley opened in town” Kyle remarks. Ben frowns:
“I am not going ten pin bowling Kyle. Such places are only one step up from dog racing and other chav sports.”

Ben gets up and goes to his computer, checking his email. Instantly Ben is spung out of his melancholy:
“Hey theres an email here from Jed! Jed Braithwaite, one of my university friends. He’s an archaeologist as well now.” Ben reads the message:

"Hi Ben,Hope you are well, long time no see. It would be great if all the old crowd from Cambridge could meet up again some time soon. We only seem to meet up at weddings and the unfortunate funeral.Anyway, the reason for this email is to pick your brains. I’m currently working on an excavation in some caves near Brangem in the Derbyshire peaks. Something very bizarre is going on. We have discovered several chambers within the cave complex which are decorated with strange paintings of what look like space craft yet can’t be as the chambers have been enclosed for centuries. There are also unusual metallic objects here and some strange crystals. The crystals are light blue in colour and radiate a luminous glow. Oddly they emit a very faint sound , as if a violin is being played in the house next door……….."

Ben stops reading and looks at Kyle:
“Well it looks like we have a case now Kyle. Come and read this!”Kyle comes over and starts to read the email. Ben points at the line about the crystals:
“Those crystals sound exactly the same as those on Alzaneran 4 surrounding the Museum of the Crystal Caves. How the hell could Alzaneran crystals be here on earth? That planet is in another galaxy and the Clanac Empire of which it was once part never expanded anywhere near this one. Unfortunately the Doctor is off on his travels so we’ll have to investigate this ourselves.”
Ben reads on:

"Our dig has been complicated by the disused mines that link onto the caves. The shafts are partly flooded and very unstable and dangerous. Two days ago two 16 year old lads helping on the dig vanished. They are both staying at an outdoor pursuit centre near here; their instructors agreed to let them work on our dig for educational purposes. Ben I fear that they have fallen into a flooded caven or something. There is going to be an almighty fuss over this and the whole project could be cancelled. Obviously I’m devastated about the two lads however if the authorities close down this project then we may never find out what else is down here.I know you & your organisation have connections.

NB: I’ve sent a link with a map of the area. I hope you can come soon.

Jed"

Ben leaps up excitedly:
“Kyle there is no time to lose. We’ll pick up Jake & Katie and drive to Derbyshire immediately. I’ll text Corinne Shaw & Paul Farraday as they are in the midlands on another matter and it would be good to touch base with them. I fear that the disappearance of those boys may be no accident and that extraterrestrial forces are at work.”……

….. To be continued.

Another plea to guard against ATOMISATION

2009-06-06T15:54:00.000-07:00

I fear it may be happening already. DWF/OG posters whizzing off to 'pro-new series', 'anti-new series', 'spoiler', 'anti-OG', 'jazzy graphics', 'non-jazzy graphics' Doctor Who forums.
This has happened when another (non-Doctor Who) site I posted on closed and it was a disaster. The community disintegrated and what was left was umpteen specialist forums, often poorly moderated, intolerant of variety and either slow or dull. Hopefully we can get back to a situation with one strong and varied main site.

"He treats us as window dressing": Caroline Flint

2009-06-06T15:47:00.000-07:00

She knows how to stick the stilleto in. I do have doubts about her accusation, after all Gordon Brown did promote Jacqui Smith to Home Secretary. However discrimination is notoriously hard to prove in any profession and bosses get away with it because they can. The only way to deal with it in all its forms is to track the career paths of individuals against others of comparable ability.

Alternatives to OG

2009-06-03T10:54:00.001-07:00

I've created links below to Outpost Wrinkley, Doctor Who Online & Outpost Skaro. Hopefully the promised Gallifrey Base will appear soon.
I imagine that one will emerge as the main new Doctor Who fandom hub. And this blog is always here.....

The DWF/Outpost Gallifrey to close

2009-06-03T10:22:00.001-07:00

This is truely devastating news. OG is easily the best discussion forum that I've ever found on the net and it will be greatly missed.

So: Diversity beat Susan Boyle

2009-05-31T13:46:00.000-07:00

I did watch this as there was nothing else on . I thought the winners were awful, a pointless 'urban dance act' *yuk* who I wouldn't pay 5p to see. Obviously Susan Boyle should have won; the idea of someone who looks like a bag lady having the voice of an angel is an obvious winner.

A Ben Chatham Summer Special: "THE CREEPING SAND"

2009-05-31T08:02:00.000-07:00

OK, here is a one off, one episode story to preceed 'Caves of Oblivion".
Enjoy.

"THE CREEPING SAND"

It is a warm, sultry summer afternoon. Ben Chatham is sitting on the beach alone in his thoughts. It has been two days since he bid farewell to the Doctor after returning in the TARDIS from the 15th century alone. He slowly massages more sun tan oil into his smooth and shapely legs, letting the sunlight glisten on his perfectly formed limbs.As he closes his eyes and sinks into a whirlpool of melancholy he hears a group of people approaching. Looking up, he sees Katie, Kyle and Jake and gives a groan:
"What are you lot doing here? I said I wanted time on my own".
"Ere don't be like that Ben. We thought you could use some company" Kyle replies.
"Well you thought wrong", Ben replies, putting on his exclusive £800 sunglasses. Katie opens up a hamper and starts laying out some food: strawberries and cream, champagne and cucumber sandwiches. She looks at Ben:
"Still sulking about Nathaniel I see. Look he told you straight that he needed to stay behind in the 15th century to provide for his mother and younger siblings. Get over it."
"Oh shut up Katie" Ben replies, massaging more oil onto his arms. Jake meanwhile has rolled a cigarette on his guitar and stares out to sea:
"Its like the sea is kissing the earth mother. Far out man, far out."
"Oh dear God, you do talk some ****e" Katie exclaims.
"Hey its true. Just look at the water and loosen your mind. Let the shimmering of the light on the waves enter your uptight soul and set it free" Jake replies. Katie laughs scornfully:
"Get your hair cut" she shouts.Ben is irritated:
"Look, the last thing I need right now is you lot bickering around me. I've been let down and I need time to myself".

Kyle picks up a dish of strawberries and takes them to Ben:
"Oh cam on Ben, we're just worried about you thats all."Kyle is wearing beach shorts and Ben is struck by how attractive his friend looks He smiles for the first time in two days:
"You look far better without those awful clothes you normally wear."
Suddenly there is a scream from way down the beach. They look around and see a group of people disappearing underneith a wall of sand. It is as if the sand has taken on a life of its own and eaten them alive. Ben is concerned:
"What the hell? Some alien force or energy life-form is alive within the sand. We need to get out of here sharpish."They all leap up, knocking over the champagne and scramble up the beach, however Kyle gives a shout
"Ere guys, 'ang on. Look!"They look around to see...........

........... a film crew approaching as several stuntmen are dug out of the sand. One of them shouts out:
"Excuse me, would you mind moving. You're getting in the background. We're filming scenes for a new Sci-fi series: "Earthwatch". Ben is annoyed:
"Thats it. You lot can do what you want, but I'm off to the Mermaid".

- THE END.

The June 4th Elections

2009-05-31T05:15:00.000-07:00

This provides an excellent opportunity to chip a large hole in the wall that the three main parties have built, keeping smaller parties out of the political process in the UK. What we really need is PR in General Elections in this country so that all votes count, not just some.
Its important to keep the BNP out and I think that this election could finish them if enough people vote UKIP or Green. If the BNP can't pick up seats in the current context then they never will and their party coffers must be running low after all the money they've spent on campaign leaflets and so on. Nazism has no place in Britain.

Karen Gillan cast as the new Doctor Who companion

2009-05-31T05:05:00.000-07:00

A massive mistake this. Not only is she too young but she's a complete unknown ( I couldn't even find a decent picture of her on the net). They should have asked Catherine Tate to stay on for another season or brought Caroline Quentin in.

The new Bob Dylan album "Together Through Life"

2009-05-31T04:48:00.000-07:00

Oh dear. I can't get into this thing at all. The lyrics are often dreadfully corny and the whole thing is an incredibly dull listen. The accordion which permeates all of the songs is about the only good thing about the geriatric blues music. 'Life is Hard' & 'My Wife's Hometown' are among the worst songs I've ever heard him do, which says a lot considering that this is the man who made such duff albums as 'Nashville Skyline', 'Saved' & 'Knocked out Loaded'.

I imagine he'll knock out a couple more albums like this before calling it a day.