The Ben Chatham Halloween 2018 Special "CURSE OF MONKS WOOD"

Part One

The rain poured down through the trees and soaked the damp, dank ground benieth. The thick mist filled the open spaces in the wood as the sickly smell of rotting leaves hung around like death in a plague. The water ran down the walls of the ruined abbey and seeped down into fox holes and rabbit warrens. The girl ran through the dense foliage, her legs torn and ripped by brambles. She cried out with pain but struggled on as she stumbled through the driving rain. She heard a scream and then a dull, extended cry of pain. Then a gunshot rang out and she fell backwards into the endless night.
Sir Richard Henson sat in the armchair in the library of the Grange and gulped down another glass of brandy. The room was in darkness, apart from the log fire burning fiercely in the grate. The rain poured down like silver on the window and mirrored the tears pouring down Sir Richard's face. He thought of the long and wasted years, of the dullness of routine and the sad monotony of a life lived for others. Suddenly he threw his glass at the fire and the glass splintered in the grate.

Ben Chatham sat back in his chair in his office in the new Operation Delta HQ in Cambridge and stared coldly at the clergyman sitting in front of him. The office was modern and fresh, with an original painting of the standing stones of Callinish on one wall and a painting of some cornish cliffs on the other. There was a state of the art coffee mnachine, offering a range of twelve different coffee beans, and a brand new vinyl record player for when Ben needed to relax between meetings.
"I'm sorry, but I really don't see what I can do to help you, Reverend Ashton. We are an organisation that investigates paranormal or suspected alien activity. Nothing which you have just described really fits that remit. Indeed it seems to me that you'd be better off continuing to address your concerns to the police".
Reverand Maurice Ashton, a cold, sharp-faced man in his early fifties, glared angrily at Ben.
"Have you not listened to a word I've just said? Four of my parishoners have gone missing and all you can do is shrug and try to pass the buck? Look Mr Chatham, if I still had any faith that the police were taking this seriously I would hardly be sitting here talking to the head of some minor investigative quango. However they aren't and furthermore I'd say that the lights in the wood, the evil that lurks within it and the unsolved murders committed to conjure up whatever abomination stalks that place fully count as paranormal activity. Your father assured me that you would provide some assistance. Frankly your manner is disappointing."
Ben gave the Reverand Ashton a look of hurt and anguish, however he could see instantly that his target was not the sort of man whose heart could be melted by human beauty. A feeling of dread had been creeping over him since the Reverand had arrived and stated that he was a friend of Alastair Chatham, Ben's father. Ben knew that he was in the last chance saloon as far as his relationship with his father was concerned and he did not want to take any chances. Yet he had loathed this odious hard-faced clergyman from the moment he strode into the office. Ben sighed:
"I'm sorry Reverand Ashton, please forgive me, it's been a long day. I'll discuss this with my team immediately and we'll come down to Woolton Abbas as soon as is possible to investigate. This is a top priority case."
The Reverand stood up:
"Thankyou Mr Chatham. I'll inform your father that you ave agreed to help me. Myself and my wife Margaret had dinner with Alastair and Giselle only last week. In ordinary circumstances I would not of course take dinner with an unmarried couple however your father is a repentent sinner and has been most generous in his funding of the Church for many years".
Ben felt a pang of nausea at the mention of his father's relationship with his French mistress, Madame Giselle Camboux, however he took a sip of water from the glass on his desk and smiled:
"I'll do my best to help get to the bottom of all this."

After the Reverand Ashton had departed, Ben got up, strode to the record player and put on Mahler's Fifth Symphony. He sat down on the leather sofa at the side of the office and picked up his phone:
"Chiara, could you ask Katie Ryan to come to my office please, if she is still in the building".
A short time later, Chiara Smith, now acting as Ben's Cambridge Secretary, showed Katie Ryan into the office. Katie scowled at Chiara as she passed her and strode past Ben, perching herself on the corner of Ben's desk. She smiled sardonically:
"Ben you really took me by surprise getting a female secretary. Especially that boring little piece. I'd have thought that a lithe young man was more to your taste. There is hope for you yet."
Ben frowned:
"Katie this is a work environment. Also my relationship with Julian really feels like it is going somewhere. I have no intention of damaging it by mixing work with pleasure. I've turned a corner in my life."
Katie laughed:
"Oh come on Ben, I was only joking. I'm pleased that you're happy, especially after your disasterous marriage. I just feel that there's something not right about Julian. He's too good to be true isn't he? Come on Ben you must have had your doubts. I know you."
Ben stood up:
"Look Katie we've already had this conversation and I have no desire to repeat it. You're views on Julian are absurd and spiteful. I suggest you find a love interest yourself instead of worrying about mine."
Katie flicked her hair back and threw her head to one side:
"Ok, Ben but don't come crying to me when it all goes wrong again. That pompous little ponce is either after your money or playing some game and you Ben are wasting your life and heading for another crisis. But you won't listen to me so I'm saying no more on the subject. Why did you want to see me?"
Ben walked behind his desk and sat down:
"I thought that when we expanded the organisation and set up this new office in Cambridge that I'd have been stared dealing with the more mundane or pointless cases. My aim was to devolve all of the peripheral nonsense to London while I concentrate only on the major work. However it seems that the Reverand Ashton is a friend of my father's and therefore I am obliged to at least put on a show of investigating his bonkers theories."
What exactly are those theories? Katie asked.
"It seems that he believes that four of his parishoners, two couples, have gone missing near Monks Wood in Wiltshire. The same place that the little girl was found dismembered around ten years ago. You know, the case that was all over the papers... Lucy something."
Katie frowned:
"Lucy Grainger. Yeah I remember it. A big story because it was rumoured that she was killed in some satanic ritual . They never cought anyone did they?"
"No and it seems that the Reverand believes that not only satanists but ghostly monks and even the devil himself may reside in those woods. In other words he's a nutter and a religious fanatic. Not the kind of case that we should be involved in. However I have no choice as my father is a friend of his."
"Poor Ben. Let me have the file and I'll organise a team for tomorrow."
Katie smiled and flounced out of the office. Ben sat back in his chair and sighed.

............to be continued.

THE CURSE OF MONK'S WOOD: Part 2 The next morning Ben and Julian arrived at the Operation Delta office after having a continental breakfast at the Mermaid Wine Bar. Ben immediately went up to Katie's office, the door of which was ajar.
"Hi Katie, is everything set for the trip? Team in place?"
Katie stopped painting her nails and looked up sharply:
"Yes, I've told Kyle and Adam Wooten to be ready in half an hour. Team of four seems adequate for a small case like this. Especially since it probably won't amount to anything."
Ben looked puzzled:
"So are you not planning to come with us?"
"Er yes Ben, Team of four, you, me Adam and Kyle", Katie replied.
Ben frowned and paced up to Katie:
"No Katie. Julian will be coming with us. I think it best if you drop Adam from the team as well. I find him extremely attractive and Julian will pick up on that."
Katie flicked back her blonde hair and fixed Ben with an icy stare:
"You are really unbelievable sometimes. We are supposed to be a professional organisation yet here you are proposing to bring your male lover along who is not a member of the organisation and drop an experienced team member in case diddums gets jealous. Has he been CRB checked, given that we may encounter vulnerable adult witnesses?"
Ben was bemused:
"Oh get over yourself Katie. Since when did you care about CRB checks or any of that ? You are the least politically correct person I know and are just being awkward for the sake of it. Julian is coming and that's that."
Julian, who had been listening in the doorway, grinned and approached Ben, leaning on his shoulder:
"I think you should remember that Ben is in charge and you are merely an employee, as exchangeable as a lawnmower part."
Katie glared at him:
"In which case I am the blade. I'd remember that if I were you."

Later Ben, Katie, Kyle and Julian arrived in Woolton Abbas, the village near Monk's Wood. They drove to the Vicarage to meet with the Reverend Ashton, however as they approached, they saw Ashton having a violent altercation with another man. Ashton punched him in the face and started kicking him, as several women tried to intervene. Ben and Kyle jumped out of the car and went running over:
"Reverend Ashton stop this now. Look at yourself. You're a man of the cloth not a common street yob", Ben shouted.
Ashton glared at him:
"This man is a fraud and a disciple of Satan. He is corrupting the morals of my parishioners. Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live."
The other man stood up:
"You all witnessed this idiot assault me. *turning to Ben* My name is Denholm Jopeson, psychic and white witch."
Ben frowned:
"I'm Ben Chatham and myself and my team are here to investigate the disappearances that have happened here. Before you offer, we have no need for any help from psychics and similar crackpots. However I can only apologise for the appalling behaviour of the Reverend Ashton here."
A woman stepped forward:
"Denholm is not a crackpot young man. I asked him here to help."
"And you are?" Ben asked.
"Lucinda Allcock. I keep the post office. One of the missing people is my sister Alison."
Katie Ryan stepped forward:
"We will probably need to interview you later. Is there a pub or a café near here as I could do with a drink?"
"Yes, there is the Green Man just round the corner."
"Good, then I suggest that we all go there now and discuss things in a calm and rational manner", Ben stated.

Later, in the pub, Ben, Julian and Katie were discussing the case with the Reverend Ashton while Kyle chatted to Denholm Jopeson and Lucinda on another table. Lucinda was explaining the chain of events:
"It was Wednesday morning when the doorbell went. It was Jason, the postman. He said that he'd just been round Alison and Rob's house to deliver a parcel but the door was open and the house was empty. Same with Lisa and Emily next door. All four have just vanished, leaving their front doors wide open."
Kyle sipped his beer:
"So what were they like? The missing people I mean."
"Well Alison and Rob are just an ordinary couple in their early thirties. They've had a difficult patch what with the IVF not working and Alison desperate to have a kid. But they're working through it. Lisa and Emily are just a quiet young couple. We were all surprised when they moved in here, you know them being lesbians and all that, but at least they keep themselves to themselves and don't flaunt it."
"Ere you don't sound very accepting like. Its that how others feel?" Kyle asked.
Lucinda frowned:
"Mr Scott, we are a Christian village. We are not London."
Kyle took another swig of beer:
"Yet you call in a white witch to help. Hardly very Christian if you ask me, no offence like."
Denholm Jopeson interceded:
"Mr Scott, there is no binary conflict between Christianity and a benign interest in magic. Dear me, you sound as ignorant as that bigoted old preacher of hellfire over there."
He shouted the last part of the sentence and the Reverend Ashton stood up:
"Satanist!" he screamed at Jopeson, holding up his gold cross.

Before Jopeson could respond, the landlord, George Morrison, banged a pint glass repeatedly on the bar and called for attention:
"Folks, I've just had the police on the phone. Three bodies have been found buried in the woods. Horribly mutilated."
Lucinda screamed and collapsed over the table sobbing. Ben gestured to Katie to comfort her then stood up:
"My name is Ben Chatham and I head the organisation that is investigating this matter alongside the police. If anyone has any information ........"
Ben's words were cut short by a scream from the kitchen behind the bar area. Ben rushed through with Morrison to see Morrison's wife Glenda sobbing, shaking and staring out of the window. Looking out of the kitchen window Ben saw the wall of the adjacent pub meeting room, illuminated by an outside light. On the whitewashed wall, painted in what looked like blood, was the image of a raven with a spike through its side........

...............to be continued.

Ok, here is part three of this sinister Halloween adventure:

THE CURSE OF MONK'S WOOD: Part 3

A short time later, Ben and his team, along with a crowd of locals, were in Monk's Wood chatting to the police. The area where the three bodies were found was cordoned off and the site was lit by police floodlighting. Ben was ushered to one side by the officer in charge, Detective Inspector Jones:
"Ok Mr Chatham, here are the basics. The three bodies we have found have been shot, that much is obvious. All have serious shotgun wounds. Obviously forensics will need to confirm this but I think we can jump the gun. According to PC Cole, who knows the village well, they are Bob Gannon and his wife Doris, along with Jenny Smith. All worked at the local abattoir and the Gannons owned the business. There is still one missing person, Smith's boyfriend Jake Dearing. My bet is that he killed them all in some kind of jealous rage, but this is pure speculation at this stage."
Ben frowned:
"Thank you Inspector Jones. I assure you that the information you have given me will remain confidential. Myself and my organisation are purely here to help the Reverend Ashton. He believed that you were not taking the disappearances seriously. He also spoke about lights in the wood and abominations being conjured up. Personally I believe him to be a religious crackpot and I don't see this as an Operation Delta case, however he is a friend of my father's."
Inspector Jones laughed and put his arm on Ben's shoulder:
"You are dead right there. He drives us all up the wall with his nonsense about Satanists in Monk's Wood and so forth. The man is a nuisance, however I assure you that we will do everything in our power to catch the person responsible for these deaths, who I'm sure will be Jake Dearing."

Ben left the Inspector with a smile and walked over to where Katie and Kyle were chatting with the Reverend Ashton and Lucinda Allcock:
"I'm really not convinced that there is much to investigate here. The Inspector believes that the three victims were shot by the man still missing, a Jake Dearing. Some kind of domestic. Clearly a police matter and nothing to do with us."
The Reverend Ashton interjected:
"Nonsense. I know Jake Dearing and he wouldn't hurt a fly. Harmless young man and a bit simple, backward. Worked at the abattoir with the others. I tell you this is the work of the devil. The police are in on it. There are dark forces in these woods and they are being conjured up by the purveyors of filth and sacrilege. "
Ben sighed:
"Reverend Ashton, just listen to yourself. Seriously. You sound like someone who is not fully rational. What do you mean by 'dark forces'?"
The Reverend Ashton gripped Ben by the shoulders and recounted a strange, chilling tale.:
"During the middle ages, these woods were part of the grounds of Woolton Abbey, one of the largest Benedictine Abbeys in the country. It was rich with gold objects and expensive books. It is said that Saint Thomas Becket visited the Abbey frequently and gifted it a piece of Christ's cross, one of the most sacred relics in Christendom. However by the time of King Henry VIII, dark forces had taken hold in the Abbey. The monks had turned to pagan beliefs and had burned the holy relic on a huge bonfire. They practiced sodomy and withheld taxes from the king. So Henry VIII's men came to dissolve the Abbey in 1538. They drove the monks out of the Abbey and into the woods, where they massacred them with swords and knives. It is said that the Abbot, just before he died, put a curse on the woods and on anyone who bought the former Abbey or its grounds. It is also said that the ghosts of the monks haunt these woods searching for vengeance."
Katie Ryan laughed sardonically:
"What a load of old nonsense. You mean to say that you believe this crap? Good grief."
Ben cut in:
"Katie please . Reverend, who does now own the former Abbey?"
"The Abbey site is where the Grange now stands, owned by Sir Richard Henson, owner of Hensons, the brewery and distillery firm. Not a lucky family I'm afraid. Both of Sir Richard's parents burned to death in the garage of the house in an unexplained fire. He himself lives up there on his own. Can't say I like or trust the man. He never attends church . Typical irreligious, modern business type."
Ben frowned:
"Ok team. We'll pay this Sir Richard a visit but then, if nothing else surfaces, I say we abandon this case. Sorry reverend but it is a police matter."
As Ben spoke, Inspector Jones came running up:
"I'm sorry Mr Chatham but before you leave there is something you should know. According to the police pathologist, who has just arrived, the three bodies have had their hearts cut out."
The Reverend Ashton stared at Ben:
"The work of the devil. Those hearts have been burned in a cauldron of charcoal, a well known ritual of the black mass."

Later, Ben, Julian, Katie and Kyle were sitting in the drawing room of the Grange, enjoying a glass of fine whisky as the log fire burned in the large fireplace. Sir Richard Henson, a weathered looking man in his late fifties, stared sadly at them:
"Yes I'm sorry to hear about the murders in the woods. This is an unlucky place it really is. But I could never ever leave it. What would be the point?"
Ben sipped the whisky:
"Mr Henson, your single malt is absolutely superb."
"Thank you young man. I tend to do very little with the business these days. I've delegated to others. I just reached a point where I couldn't face going into work anymore. My life is a hollow, empty existence. I feel completely alone, even when in a room full of people."
Julian put his arm around Ben:
"Ben used to feel like that until he met me."
Ben looked embarrassed:
"Julian, please......"
Henson smiled sadly:
"Oh I can see how you would brighten up a chap's life. Sadly I am too old now for love."
Katie knocked back her whisky and stared at Henson:
"Well yes, you're right there you old fruit. Pull yourself together, you have a successful business and lots of money. Now tell us if you know anything about these deaths and if you've seen or heard of any Satanists gathering in the woods."
Henson rose up angrily:
"How dare you use that tone with me, young lady. And in my own home as well...."
Ben interjected:
"I apologise for my colleague Sir Richard *angrily staring at Katie*. But please tell us if you know anything. The police think that the murders were committed by a chap called Jake Dearing".
Sir Richard became suddenly very agitated and emotional. He started to shout hysterically:
"Nonsense , nonsense. He would never hurt anyone. Get out of my house, all of you. Get out, liars, liars......"

Shortly they were all walking back through the woods towards the village.
"Ere that were dead weird behaviour but I don't see him as a killer", Kyle remarked.
"Yeah, stupid old fruit probably fancied this Dearing character", Katie added.
Suddenly they heard the sound of strange chanting noises coming from some distance away. Then a slow, moaning sound.
"What the hell is that?" Katie exclaimed.
As she spoke the moaning sound got louder and they saw a large figure walking towards them from the trees. It had horns, red glowing eyes and a face that resembled the devil......."

..........to be continued.

"THE CURSE OF MONK'S WOOD": PART 4

They stared at the satanic figure as it strode through the trees towards them, its red eyes glowing. Julian grabbed Ben's arm:
"I think this is the point where you shout run," he said softly. Kyle frowned:
"Ere, that's just a fella dressed up. Let 'im get a bit closer and I'll lamp 'im one".
The creature strode closer and approached a young ash tree that was in its way. It knocked down the tree with a karate-like chop of the hand and breathed fire at it.
"Ere, on second thoughts Ben, maybe Julian 'ad the right advice", Kyle exclaimed.
"RUN", ben shouted.


Later, the team were sat in the Green Man pub with the Reverend Ashton.
"You saw the devil himself walking the earth. We are all damned unless we strike it down and all of its disciples with the fiery sword of truth. Smite out its eyes ...." the Reverend Ashton ranted. Ben sipped his brandy:
"Please calm yourself Reverend. Whatever that creature was, it is unlikely to have been the devil. I have encountered much alien life as part of my work and I find that reason rather than blind faith is the best option."
As Ben spoke, Denholm Jopeson walked in, accompanied by Lucinda Allcock from the post office and Detective Inspector Jones. Ashton stood up and pointed at Jopeson:
"Get this disciple of Satan out of here. This blaspheming liar is responsible for all of this. He's conjured up the devil!"
Ben pulled Ashton back down into his seat:
"Try to calm down. You are showing all the signs of religious mania. This is highly negative and is embarrassing frankly."
Julian smiled at Ben:
"Well said Ben. The man is a joke and very tiresome. I may use him as a basis for a character in the novel I am thinking of writing."
Katie laughed:
"You write a novel? Oh come off it. You student types haven't got the work ethic to actually write anything like a novel."
Julian glared at her:
"I have already written two novels while studying for my degree. I have the time as I don't have to work due to my impeccable breeding and extremely wealthy parents."
Ben smiled:
"You have to understand Katie that quality gravitates naturally towards quality".
Meanwhile Denholm Jopeson had walked towards them:
"Can I give you people a piece of advice. Stay out of Monk's Wood. There are restless spirits in there from the time of the Reformation. A grave injustice was done to them and they cannot pass over to the other side. They seek vengeance and justice."
"Satanist", shouted Ashton. Katie glared at Jopeson:
"Look Jopeson, you are as batty as this idiot Ashton here. Both of you talk nothing but religious nonsense. We have no time for this."
Jopeson looked hurt:
"My dear, there are forces of which you know nothing. Please do not close your mind to the energies of the earth and the ancient power of the old gods and the unseen."
"Bollocks", Katie exclaimed, flicking back her golden hair and sipping her dry martini.
Ben interjected:
"Look, I think we need to check out this abattoir where the three dead people worked. Lets get to it."


A short time later Ben drove up to the abattoir gates. They got out of the car and approached the security guard on the entrance:
"Hi, I'm Ben Chatham of Operation Delta. Here is my I.D card. We are here to investigate the recent deaths."
The security guard was young, dark haired and had high cheek bones. He felt immediately attracted to Ben and let the team in without question. They walked into the building and asked at reception to see the manager. They could hear the sound of frightened animals and mechanical saws in the distance. There was a strong smell of offal and faeces. They were led upstairs towards a large office, where an obese man sat behind a desk, smoking a cigar.
"Should you really be smoking inside this building?" Julian asked the man. He looked up bemused.
"I'm the boss and I can do as I like. Who the bloody hell are you?" He spoke with a Yorkshire accent. Ben stood forward:
"I'm Ben Chatham of Operation Delta and these are some of my team. We are here to investigate the recent murders of three of your staff. The man huffed:
"I'm Jim Haddon the manager. You're not the bloody police so who let you in?"
"One of the security guards, the good looking one", Ben stated. Haddon frowned:
"You sound like a bloody poof. I don't know anything and neither do my staff. We run a legitimate business here and our meat goes all over Europe. Now piss off, I've got work to do."
Julian sat on the edge of Haddon's desk:
"You really are a rude, fat and horribly crude little man aren't you", he stated. Haddon puffed his cigar:
"And you're a poof, now piss off."


Ben got up to leave:
"You can rest assured that I will be reporting your homophobic comments as a hate crime....." he stated but as he spoke the lights went out.
"What the bloody hell, get these ****ing lights back on.." Haddon bellowed as a figure appeared in the doorway and could just be discerned in the near darkness:
"Mr Haddon Sir, someone is attacking the abattoir. Men in masks. We are under attack!"


.................to be continued.

The Ben Chatham Christmas 2017 Special: 'DARK SACRIFICE'

"DARK SACRIFICE"
Ben gazed down at the rows of pupils as they cheered and clapped him with enthusiasm. He picked up his lecture notes and put them into his leather briefcase and held up his hand. The pupils politely stopped clapping. Ben smiled elegantly:
"Thank you very much. Your show of apprecitiation really does express more than words can the superiority of the private school system over the state sector. Had I been delivering this lecture to an audience of state school flotsam and jetsam, they would have been on their phones, talking over me and guffawing after a couple of minutes. I thank you again and thank your school for inviting me to address you.Merry Christmas all of you"
The pupils cheered again as Ben stepped down from the platform. He had accepted the offer to deliver a lecture on archaeological dating techniques to Grandford School for Boys partly as a means of avoiding having to travel down to Wiltshire to see his parents over Christmas. It was Christmas Eve and the school had put on a special program of lectures to occupy the minds of those boarders whose parents were wealthy enough to bung the school an extra wad of cash to keep their boys at school over Christmas and out of their hair. Ben found this rather strange however he admired the school's emphasis on learning as opposed to trivial entertainment pursuits. The headmaster, Mr Metcalfe, approached Ben:
"That was delightful. Truely splendid. Can I offer you a glass of sherry back in my office before you leave us?"
Ben was looking forward to the short drive back to Cambridge and the quiet, romantic Christmas for two which he had planned. However he thought he'd better humour the head, given the size of the fee he was demanding.

A short time later, Ben was sitting in Mr Metcalfe's study enjoying a glass of fine sherry and chatting about Viking artefacts. He admired the oak pannelled room with its extensive book collection and log fire.
"You know I really like your school. It is completely devoid of the kind of course, functional modernism which pervades most educational establishments these days."
Two sixth formers, Stephen and Charles, served them their sherry and offered them cakes. Mr Metcalfe smiled:
"Here at Grandford we pride ourselves on our rejection of the vulgar, the commonplace and the modern. Our boys are schooled to be special, to be an elite. I realise that these values may seem antiquarian to you Mr Chatham, however nonetheless they are my values".
Metcalfe stared up at a painting of an old man on the wall:
"That is a painting of my great grandfather, Josiah Metcalfe. He founded this school with the aim of maintaining the traditional values he saw being eroded away from our society by the vulgarity of popular culture and relativism".
Ben stood up:
"Mr Metcalfe it has been a delight to meet you and I admire your school and its ethos very much. However I must be going".
Metcalfe smiled:
"Oh come now Mr Chatham. Please sit down and have another glass of sherry. I want to offer you a permanent position at this school as a master. I believe that you have the kind of values that we are looking for. My research suggested this. In a year you could be a housemaster."
Ben frowned:
"Please don't be offended Mr Metcalfe however I don't want to be a teacher. It's a loser's job and I generally despise children, although your boys are polite. I hope you understand".
Metcalfe shook his head sadly:
"Oh dear what a pity. You are such an attractive young man. However you can still serve the school on another way".
Metcalfe gestured to Stephen and Charles who grabbed Ben and frogmarched him out of the study.
"Hey take your hands off me, what the hell are you doing", Ben shouted angrily. Stephen smiled sadly:
"Please don't make a fuss sir. We enjoyed your lecture and Charles and I have a bit of a crush on you. However by refusing the job you have chosen to become this year's Yuletide sacrifice."
"What the hell do you mean, sacrifice? Are you two on drugs?" Ben yelled back.
"We do not take drugs here at Grandford. We are a traditional school and we need to ensure that our school continues to prosper and achieve strong success rates. It is our custom to offer up a Yuletide sacrifice every year to empower the gods to bring us that success and ensure that all Grandford alumni find good jobs after leaving."
Ben pulled himself free of them and ran down the oak pannelled corridor. However as he turned a corner he was confronted by a large, menacing dog which growled exposing vicious teeth.
"Good work Aloysious", Stephen said to the dog, before whacking Ben over the head with a copy of the complete works of Samuel Taylor Coleridge.
"Hope that didn't hurt too much sir", he commented in a tone of genuine affection.

When Ben woke he was outside in the school grounds tied to the trunk of the huge Christmas tree that the school had exclusively purchased from a Norwegian supplier. He saw that the boys were all dressed up as vikings and the masters also. Mr Metcalfe stepped forward:
"Try not to panic Mr Chatham. It will all be over very quickly. The sixth formers from the shooting club are all very good shots and have practiced the art of the clean kill. We are gifting you a great honour. You are following in the footsteps of Odin when he hung upside down from the tree of life in order to gain the runes. You will be in Valhalla tonight."
Ben was concerned:
"You're all raving mad. I suppose it is too late to accept the teaching post instead".
"I'm afraid so Mr Chatham", Metcalfe responded.
"Then please grant me one final request. You are a civilised English school after all. I would like a fox's glacier mint before you shoot me. There is a packet in my leather briefcase unopened."
Metcalfe gestured to a fifth former to fetch the briefcase. The boy soon returned and Metcalfe took out the packet of mints:
"Ok Benjamin, I hope you don't mind me calling you Benjamin. I will open the mints and
Charles here will put it into your mouth."
Metcalfe opened the packet of mints and a strange, blue vapour came out of the packet and enveloped all of the masters and boys. They fell to the floor in a strange stupor and rolled around in a psychedelic state. All except one small fourth former who seemed to have a bad cold and kept coughing and spluttering.
"Hey you boy, what's your name?" Ben shouted.
"Jeremy sir"
"Well Jeremy the gods have clearly spoken and they want you to untie me now".
Jeremy meekly untied Ben , coughing as he did so. Ben grinned:
"Clearly your blocked nose has saved you from the effects of the gas. It was a good idea of mine to keep a fake packet of mints in my briefcase for just such an occasion as this. However I have a real packet here in my pocket. Would you like one?"
"Yes please sir".
Ben handed Jeremy a Fox's Glacier Mint and had one himself. He felt the world
undulate around him and saw strange colours pulsating in his mind. He then phoned the police.
"Jeremy I think you may be the only one left on this school shortly. I therefore name you the new headmaster".
"Thank you sir. Any chance of another mint?"

THE END