Tuesday, 16 February 2010

Should Philip Hinchcliffe be invited to write for series 6/2 of Doctor Who?

I say yes. He is arguably Doctor Who's best ever producer and he has submitted story ideas in the distant past.

Sign below to get Adam Rickitt back in Corrie!

The new Nick Tilsley isn't a patch on Adam. Hopefully an online petition will persuade ITV to offer Adam the role again with a massive pay increase.


OK folks, the plot thickens in the exciting fourth part:


Ben and Madame Camboux rush upstairs as they hear a loud thud coming from one of the rooms. Ben flings open the door to see Piers sat on the end of his bed shaking with shock. The wardrobe door is open and a corpse lies on the floor, its glazed lifeless eyes staring upwards.
"I..I opened the wardrobe door to fetch a jacket and.... and this thing fell out...." Piers stammers.
"Its Francois, my butler. How odd. He brought us drinks only ten minutes ago" Madame Camboux exclaims.Ben feels for a pulse on the corpse:
"Madame, this man has been dead for hours, maybe days. The cadavor is stone cold. I suspect that an android has taken his place. It seems odd that the body was hidden in here. Maybe Piers is in on it."
Piers stares angrily at Ben, tears streaming down his face:
"Why do you say that? Why? You make me so sad. You want me out of here so that you can have Madame to yourself. You are so attractive that you will get what you want."
Ben goes over to him:
"I assure you that I have no designs on Madame Camboux. I apologise Piers, I can see now that my suspicions are unfounded. And you are very attractive yourself. I find the French accent aluring" Ben replies.Piers rests his head on Ben's shoulder.
"I think we should go downstairs and tackle this android. I have this" Madame Camboux exclaims, holding up a small, petite silver pistol.

Slowly they creep downstairs and into the lounge, where 'Francois' is clearing up glasses.
"Don't move or I'll shoot. What is your purpose impersonating my butler?" Madame Camboux shouts, holding the pistol.The android leaps forward, grabbing her arm. The pistol goes off, breaking a vase. Ben and Piers try to grab him and as he flails about, Sebastian leaps up, swings on the light fittings and jabs him in the eyes with his rear paws. The android falls back and its head hits the fireplace emitting a loud bang, sparks & smoke. Ben examines it:
"The thing is dead. Good work Sebastian."Sebastian chuckles to himself while Madame Camboux inspects the broken vase.

Later, after the others return back, Ben holds a team meeting in the lounge. Craig is finishing off a poem while Madame Camboux gives Sebastian a saucer of absinthe and a dish of exclusive smoked salmon & caviar cat food, 50 euros a tin.
"Are you sure you should be giving that animal alcohol?" Katie tersely exclaims. Sebastian takes a mouthful of food and feigns a sneeze, sending food splattering all over Katie.
"Oh ****, does that thing do that all the time" she shouts. Isobel goes over to Sebastian and strokes him:
"Poor little cat, he's got a chill. Poor little thing". Sebastian goes to scratch his ear and accidently on purpose scratches Isobel's hand, deep grooves. She screams. Sebastian chuckes to himself. Katie sits next to him and gives him a nudge:
"Ok pal, I think I get you. I suggest we call a truce. You and me could really get on." Sebastian chuckles to himself.Ben asserts himself:
"OK its time to focus. Enough of this banter. What we know is that a group of androids is after wine, probably a specific bottle. Have you bought any wine from that shop Madame?"
"Oh yes. Most of the stock in the cellar is from there. However the Francois android has no doubt searched through all those. Although I do keep a couple of bottles under my bed in case I fancy one in the night" Madame Camboux replies.Ben grins:
"Thats it! The android may not have thought of searching there...." However as he speaks the door flies open. Two completely faceless androids walk in holding guns.................

............... to be continued.


OK folks, here is the next action-packed instaulment of this story:


The robot rushes up the stairs and into the shop. Isobel shrieks and faints and Craig gets pushed to the ground as the crazed mechanical being crashes through the shop door and lumbers away. Kyle rushes up from the cellar:
"Is everyone ok like?"
"What the hell was that thing?" Katie asks.
"It was searching for summat down there. Looks like we've found another case."Katie is not amused:
"I hope Ben was not aware that anything like this would happen when he sent us here. I dislike being kept in the dark about cases.Craig is comforting Isobel who is waking up:
"Oh stop pampering the simpering little trout" Katie exclaims.
"Hey don't talk about Isobel like that" Craig sulllenly replies. He strokes Isobel's hair:
"She's just jealous 'cause you're better looking than her."

Meanwhile back at the Chateau, Ben is lounging on the sofa, stroking Madame Camboux's cat Sebastian who purrs in a refined manner. In his other hand is his mobile and he is mid-conversation when Madame Camboux enters the lounge:
"...... and we can all just turn up and give our names...... thats very generous of you David...... and we get pride of place at the after show dinner.....thanks...... you are honoured to invite me?.... no its me that is honoured..... thanks again David".Ben puts down the phone, a big smile on his face:
"That was David Bowie. He is playing an exclusive one off show in Paris in two weeks and I've been personally invited along with all my team. He says that he longs to see me again."
Madame Camboux lights a cigarette:
"That is good. I have interviewed all of the servants and all deny knowledge of the theft."
Ben frowns:
"I still suspect Piers. How did you meet him?"Madame Camboux smiles:
"When I'm staying in Paris I get attention from a lot of young men who wish to succeed in the film industry. Piers is desperate to act and I promised to use my contacts to get him parts. While I get his parts so to speak".Ben frowns:
"So he is using you. I knew it".Madame Camboux elegantly draws on her cigarette:
"Ben darling, you must refrain from petit bourgeois moral constraints. I was always telling your father that. To be honest though I am starting to tire of Piers. It may be time to, how shall I put this, trade him in for a new model".

As she speaks, Ben's mobile rings. It is Kyle, who informs him of the events at the wine shop. Ben is very concerned and looks at Madame Camboux:
"I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but I suspect there is an android in this Chateau. Is Piers entirely normal?"Madame Camboux stares at him blankly. Ben goes on:
"Look, I know this is going to sound bizarre but I have experience of dealing with androids and aliens. I used to travel with someone called the Doctor in a time and space machine. Look I know how weird this sounds."Madame Camboux smiles:
"Ben darling, I don't want to shock you but I know the person that you speak of. A long time ago I travelled with him too for a short while. We met in Paris. He said he was on holiday and that his partner Romana was off at some art gallery. We journeyed in his TARDIS".Ben is shocked:
"For how long?"
"Oh just a few trips. Eventually he wanted to continue his travels with Romana. However he did give me Sebastian as a parting gift. He is a space cat . His intelligence is far beyond that of earth felines."Ben stares at Sebastian:
"Madame, I suspect a connection between the stolen wine and this alien cat. It is too much of a coincidence. Could Piers be an alien android sent to kidnap Sebastian?"
Sebastian looks concerned. Suddenly there is a scream from upstairs. Madame Camboux drops her cigarette:
"Oh no that was Piers. Someone is attacking Piers........"

............... to be continued.


OK people, here is part 2 of this cross-channel classic:


The darkness slowly lifts from Ben's mind as his consciousness emerges from the caverns of silence. He percieves himself to be lying on the bed as Madame Camboux caresses his head and strokes his hair:
"What.... what happened?" Ben asks confused.
"Giselle the maid found you unconscious on the floor. I cannot imagine who could have done this to you and in my home."Giselle enters with a poultice which Madame Camboux applies to the lump on Ben's head. She looks at the maid:
"Summon all the other servants immediately downstairs, I wish to speak to them".
"Yes Madame" Giselle replies, sheepishly leaving.
Ben looks around the room, his head throbbing:
"I'm not sure that one of your servants did this. More likely to be that Piers after how he spoke to me earlier. I fear you spoil him Madame."Just as Ben speaks, Piers arrives in the doorway.
"What is this? Why do you accuse me? I know nothing of this. This english boy is trying to turn you against me."Madame Camboux looks up:
"Nonsense Piers. Please don't make another scene. Ben is just confused."Meanwhile Ben notices that the wine is missing:
"Its gone. The bottle of 1865 claret I bought for you as a present. Its worth over £150. *looking at Piers* What have you done with it? You are clearly a thieving freeloader."Piers kicks over a chair, tears streaming down his face.
"This is not true."

Meanwhile Katie and Kyle are sitting in a street bar in Aix enjoying a cold beer each. Katie feels relaxed:
"This town is very beautiful. Its a shame that England doesn't have the same civilised drinking culture that the French have. Too many of your type spoil it by binge-drinking on vodka."Kyle sips his beer:
"I ain't a vodka drinker. Never 'ave bin".
"I suppose we'd better make a move. Ben asked me to do an errand for him before we go back" Katie comments.
"Return to that exclusive wine shop where he bought the claret for Madame Camboux. He spotted a bottle of finest Duke de Richelieu absinthe and wants it to take home, along with some 1932 Chateau de Bomboux red".As she speaks, Craig and Isobel appear.
"Ere 'ave you two had a good look round?" Kyle asks.
"We found a peaceful French cemetary where we sat and wrote some poetry" Isobel replies quietly, her delicate eyes looking at Craig.

Later the four of them arrive at the wine shop. It has an old fashioned exterior with a range of expensive old wines in the window in dusty bottles. The sign reads:
"Pierre Rouseac: Vintage Wines"
in French. The door is ajar yet there seems to be no one in the shop. Katie strides in:
"Hello? Anyone here? Mr Rouseac?"Suddenly she sees a body on the foor, blood oozing from its head. Kyle and the others enter and Isobel faints.There is a noise from the cellar below the shop.
"Ere you lot stay put and I'll see who's down there" Kyle whispers.Slowly Kyle descends the cellar steps. As he enters the cellar he sees a man with a goatie beard ferreting around among the wines as if searching for one in particular. He hears Kyle and spins round brandishing a crowbar. Kyle decides that attack is the best form of defence and launches himself at the man, knocking the crowbar out of his hand. The man lands a punch on Kyle's mouth then grabs a bottle of wine which he smashes. He goes to glass Kyle however Kyle knees him in the scrotum and grabs his face in the Chelsea bowl-lock. As he does so, he is shocked to see the man's face some away in his hand revealing wires and robotic mechanics. The robot pushes a shelf of wine bottles into Kyle and staggers out and up the staris towards the others..............

............... to be continued.