Wednesday, 31 October 2007

Its OFFICIAL relaunch night folks!

OK, this blog is now being relaunched. Expect exclusive Doctor Who fiction, incisive social commentary and historiographical work.

All you need to contribute is a blogger account. Keep the comments refined.


Ben wakes up slowly, rubbing his neck and moaning. Slowly he remembers what has happened, he was being driven back to Cambridge from an archaeological dig in Hampshire by Katie Ryan when the car skidded off the road on some oil and into a ditch. He pulls himself up and sees Katie struggling to open the crushed door. The darkness has descended and they are alone in the middle of nowhere.
"You OK Katie?" Ben asks. Katie winces:
"Of course I'm not Ok, we've just crashed".
"Well you were driving Katie, and too fast as usual."
"Oh **** off Ben... ahh my ankle... and my phone's smashed"
Ben helps her out of the car and sets off for help,his phone being damaged as well, leaving Katie by the car and none too pleased. As he walks down the narrow lane in the dark, the trees seem to close in from all sides. Ben hears the eerie sounds of owls and a strange, sinister whispering sound coming from the musty trees. He senses a presence, something dark, foreboding, menacing......
Ben has a Fox's Glacier Mint to calm down and his mind begins to float in a state of euphoric bliss. As he moves forward, his foot kicks something. Looking down, Ben sees a skull, its eyesockets full of soil with worms crawling out. As he stares at the skull he feels a presence behind him. Turning he sees a woman, dressed in a black shawl with strange hypnotic eyes and protruding fans. Ben starts to run, but the woman transforms into a large black dog and leaps at Ben, sinking its teeth into his leg. Ben gasps with pain as the creature's Master appears before him, a tall, undead creature in a large cloak:
"Give me the skull" it whispers in a menacing tone......
Suddenly the vision fades, and Ben finds himself alone in the woods. He puts it all down to a combination of the crash and tiredness and walks to the nearest Little Chef to phone for the AA.

Monday, 29 October 2007

This Blog will be formally RELAUNCHED in two days!

The blog has been going through a dry spell due to low quality replies, and therefore a formal relaunch is in order on Halloween.

Includes an exclusive Ben Chatham Halloween special.

Sunday, 7 October 2007

The Lords of Ancrazar

The Lords of Ancrazar

part 1

Ben has been visiting London in order to consult with Professor Dixby Leam of Royal Holloway on some archaeological finds he has discovered. Sitting in his hotel room that night he decides to check out the area's gay club , the Pink Dragon, which he'd discovered via the internet before making the trip.
Leaving the hotel, Ben is walking through the dark London side-streets when he is confronted by three hoodies with knives who push him against a wall:
One of the hoodies mumbles in a mono-syllabic way. Ben is infuriated:
"No, I'm not giving you my wallet. And if I were you I'd put those knives away and shove off."
The hoodies snigger:
"Dude thinks he's clever yeah. How bout we cut 'im?"
"Yeah man . Slash 'is pretty face up"

However Ben leaps forward and makes some clever judo moves, knocking knives out of their hands and decking one of them. One hoodie pushes back at Ben and they both crash into a door, smashing it open and falling through. Looking up, Ben sees that they have fallen into a room full of men dressed in strange robes and hats, with long-flowing gowns. Incense is burning and there is an altar with chanting men kneeling beside it.The other hoodies run off as Ben and his attacker are surrounded by the figures in the room, who seem to hold Ben in awe. They close the broken door.
"It is Johannan. He has returned from the dead".
One shouts,
"No. But the resemblance is almost perfect" another says.The hoodie rubs his head as Ben gets up and and asks who they are:
"We are the exiled knights of Lord Johannan of Ancrazar. Our planet is being ruled by the usurper King Ansol , cousin of Johannan. When we came to this planet, our teleport machine malfunctioned and Johannan was killed. However we can now return to Ancrazar and free our world from the tyrant."
"Er how exactly?" Ben asks bemused:
"Because you well make a perfect substitute Johannan. We have repaired the teleport and can return and prepare for battle. We offer you the chance to be King of Ancrazar. And your associate can become a Lord of the Round Table.
The hoodie groans and says he wants to "naff off arht of 'ere".
"And what if we refuse your 'offer'?"
Ben asks:"We would have no choice but to cut your throats"
the medieval garbed alien replies coldly.

Ben is angry but conceals this and has a Fox's Glacier Mint to calm down. He offers one to the disconcerted hoodie who snatches it and shoves it in his mouth. The hoodie feels the room start to swirl and a strange sensation of floating bliss sweep over him.

- to be continued