Monday, 27 October 2025

"THE ORCHIDS ARE IN BLOOM" A Prelude To The Ben Chatham 20th Anniversary Special

OK folks. This is a very special year. It is the 20th anniversary of the Ben Chatham adventures. 20 years that have gone by like lightening. Its been fun, its been exciting. As a taster for the anniversary special story "The Kid", here is a very special one-off prelude story for all to enjoy.


"THE ORCHIDS ARE IN BLOOM"

Blandische Hall, rural England, 1926. The late summer air was filled with the scent of roses and lavender. Birdsong echoed through the lush woods as the sultry August sunlight glistened through the gently swaying trees.

Through the dark realms of space it had traveled. Whole civilisations has risen and fallen since it began its journey, shaped by minds immeasurably superior to humanity. It shot down at breathtaking speed before halting just above the canopy of trees and softly descending, resting gently on the dry earth, its blue hue glowing all around. A short distance away, Daphne, having enjoyed a wine and salmon sandwich picnic, was enjoying a steamy romp with businessman Rex Mortram on their tartan coloured picnic rug:
"Oh Rex, that feels so good. But what, one wonders, is that blue haze?"
"Ohh ahh oohh ahhh the girls see all sorts when Rex is in action!"
"No Rex, I mean it. The trees are glowing blue. Something is pulsating in the woods".
"Ahhhh! Wow that was spiffing girl. Lets have the rest of the wine, then I can pulsate again if you like".
Daphne sat up and straightened her hair. She looked into her petite, silver framed mirror:
"Oh my, how delightful I still look, despite one's recent pleasures. However Rex dear, we must see where that blue light is coming from."
They dressed, lit cigarettes, and tentatively moved into the trees. They gazed in wonder at the crystal. It was multi-sided, translucent and emitted a strange, ethereal blue light.
"Rex dear, I want one. Will you bring it up to the house for me?"
"I'm not carrying that thing, girl. Its too heavy. We'll get the servants to bring it. It might be valuable, so I'll chip a bit off for you and sell the rest."
"Oh Rex, you cad! Am I not worth more than a mere chipping?"
"Now now Daphne. You know I always leave the girls begging for more". Suddenly the crystal changed colour to purple and began emitting a piercing screech. They turned and ran towards the house.

The 9th Doctor strode out of the TARDIS, with Rose Tyler in tow, and looked around at the neatly trimmed lawns and large, multi-chimneyed stately house in front of them:
"'Ang about. Ain't this Blandisch Hall? Well bugger me ragged if we ain't back 'ere again."
Rose scowled:
"Oh balls. Can't we just go back home, I want some chips and to see my mum".
"Stop whining you daft bint. Your mum's a cow and we came 'ere because sommat was travellin' through space at an impossible speed. TARDIS picked it up. And its landed near here. Any road up, I fancy a cuppa. Lets go to the house. English tea in the 1920s : how posh."
Inside the house, Sir Reginald was pouring himself a class of single malt and admiring his guns. He knocked back the whiskey as the door bell went:
"See who that is, Carruthers. Hopefully a fine filly come to make an old man happy."
Carruthers, the elderly butler, slowly rose to his feet, leaning on the mantle to get his breath back. He staggered into the hall and opened the door:
"Yes, what do you want?"
"Ang about Carruthers, its me! The Doctor! You remember?"
"Ah yes, the Doctor chappie. From up north somewhere or was it somewhere foreign? Its hard to remember these days you know. Anyway, come in, come in."
They went into the oak-pannelled living room and Sir Reginald's eyes twinkled as he saw Rose:
"Why its Miss Tyler. How about giving the master of the house a nice sloppy kiss?".
"No ¤¤¤¤ing way, you old groper". The Doctor jabbed her and whispered:
"Don't be rude to 'im. He's 'armless and pissed up most of the time".

Meanwhile upstairs, young, blond Alistair Blandische was in bed with Alec, the handsome gamekeeper.
"Oh Alec, you're so manly and masterful. Slap my ass again".
Suddenly there was a screaming sound from outside, below the window and a crash.
"Oh ¤¤¤¤, someone's knocked me ladder over" Alec exclaimed. Alistair was annoyed and went to the window. Drawing back a curtain, he saw Daphne being picked up by Rex, having ran into Alec's ladder:
"Hey stop being noisy and clumsy outside my window". Daphne glared at him:
"Oh Alistair dear. Have you got a servant up there again? You really must give them a rest you know".
"Why didn't you watch where you were going?"
"Oh, Rex and I are on the run from a big, pulsating thing in the woods".
"Oh my. Tell me which direction and I'll grab my coat", Alistair said with a grin.

It was 4pm, so everything stopped for tea, honey and cucumber sandwiches. They sat out in the front garden as the one-eyed maid, Alice, poured the tea into China cups. Lady Mary lean't over to the Doctor:
"Her brother hit her in the eye with a stick accidentally when they were children. I always say to children : never play with sticks or you'll end up like one-eyed Alice".
"Well bugger me. But I ain't 'ere to chat about sticks. We're 'ere to find summat from space. 'As anything landed around 'ere recently?"
"You mean that thing in the woods that pulsates with strange lights", Daphne added, painting her long fingernails.
"Oh you imagine things Daphne", Estrelle chipped in, lighting a cigarette which was placed inside her exclusive, silver cigarette holder".
"Actually dear, I don't need to imagine exciting things. Unlike some".
Estrelle took a drag on the cigarette:
"Yes, I hear the phrase 'shameless tramp' being uttered more and more around the house..."
"Girls, girls, do behave yourselves. We have guests", Sir Reginald barked, knocking back his whiskey. Alistair appeared, dressed in grey flannels and a perfectly white shirt, with the top buttons undone to show off his smooth chest:
"Oh tea, how spiffing. I just adore tea in the garden. What are we talking about ? Are we having another summer ball? We could invite the soldiers from the barracks again".
"Haven't you had enough summer balls dear", Estrelle commented, drawing on her cigarette elegantly.
"At least I get attention unlike some" Alistair said, flicking back his hair and helping himself to a cream and custard cake.
Rose poked the Doctor:
"Shouldn't we just bugger off and check the woods?"
"Yeah I suppose so. 'Ang about though, I want one of them cream cakes first."

A short time later, the Doctor, Rose and Alistair and Rex headed off for the woods to search for the crystal. Alistair was melancholy:
"One has had such a delightful summer. But soon I'll have to return to Cambridge for the new term. Still at least I'll get to have wine and strawberries again with my friend Sebastian".
They neared the woods when they heard a piercing scream:
"Ahhhhhhrrrrrrrrhhhhh".
"What the ¤¤¤¤ was that?" Rose exclaimed.
"Don't ¤¤¤¤ing swear in front of the bleeding aristocracy", the Doctor responded.
"Don't shout at me", Rose shouted back, stamping on his foot.
"Ow you mad bint" he shouted. Suddenly Daphne staggered out of the woods.
"What the hell are you doing here Daphne? I told you to stay at the house", Rex stated.
"You cad! Have some sympathy. I just tripped over on a branch and landed in a bramble. My arse is red raw.
"'Ere what about the crystal thing?" The Doctor exclaimed.
"Oh that? Its gone. Vanished."

Across the other side of the garden, Alistair was enjoying a romp in the summerhouse with Clive the chauffer.
"Mmmm yeah, mmmmmmm yeahhhhr. Now pour honey over my chest and lick it off", he muttered. Suddenly he felt something hard and warm in the bed. He reached down and pulled out.........
........ a smartphone.
"Oh my what on earth is this?" As soon as he lifted it up, an image appeared on the phone. Someone who bore a resemblance to him. Alistair gasped in wonder as the image began to talk, like a silent film but with sound:
"Don't panic. I am Ben Chatham and I'm from the future. You are all in grave danger. But don't worry. We are coming to rescue you. Oh and by the way, you're looking good, which is rather unsurprising given your resemblance to myself".

THE END

The Ben Chatham Anniversary Special : "THE KID" is coming soon.

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