"The Eleventh Hour": continued
The Doctor rushes through the village towards an old, delapidated house, folowed by an intrigued Amy.
"Why are you interested in MY house?" she demands. The Doctor looks at her.
"Your house? You wouldn't be the little girl who lived here over ten years ago surely. I phoned social services."Amy looks him up and down:
"Actually... I do remember you. You came that night my Aunt disappeared. But this can't be right; you haven't changed...."The Doctor puts his arm around her:
"My dear, I will explain all of that in due course. Right now can you tell me what happened to this house after that point in time?"
"I was fostered out to Mr and Mrs Pegg at the Post Office. This place just stood empty for years as my Aunt never came back. I want to see about renovating it however I lack the money."
The Doctor strides into the house and upstairs. He inspects the bedroom wall:
"The crack in the wall will re-open any time now. Whatever lies behind it has chosen this point in time to emerge and pursue whatever escaped."Suddenly the crack reopens and several slim black creatures emerge with featureless faces and silver belts and weapons.
"Oh no. Its the eternal guardians of the penal planet Osias. RUN Amy!"
The Doctor and Amy run out of the house as the figures pursue them. Running through the village, they run into the Post Office and upstairs to Amy's room. The Doctor explains:
"Whatever escaped must be extremely dangerous. Those guardians will try to locate it, however if they can't they will eliminate all animal life on this planet. That is within their remit as its a case of the end justifying the means. We have got to find the alien first and give it a chance to voluntarily surrender."
"That sounds a bit wet to me" Amy remarks."It is important to use reason before force" the Doctor replies, "I suggest that you use this opportunity to change your clothes. Nice legs by the way."Amy pouts then shows the Doctor to the kitchen and makes him a cup of tea which he drinks while she changes. There is a cricket match going on outside and the Doctor watches it out of the window. Later they set off to find the creature."It will keep changing its form to avoid detection" the Doctor states.Suddenly a figure appears in front of them and Amy gasps:
"Its my Aunt......"
Tuesday, 6 April 2010
The Eleventh Hour : 2
"THE ELEVENTH HOUR" : continued
The TARDIS lands in Little Bidcombe in 2010. The Doctor admires his new, gleaming silver and white TARDIS console. The design is futuristic and minimalist. John Foxx's 'Metamatic" album plays in the background, which was a gift from a former companion. The Doctor felt that some music would help him relax after regenerating. He is now dressed in a tweed jacket and bowtie.
Leaving the TARDIS, he strides out of a spinney onto a country lane. The sun is shining and he sniffs the air:
"Hmm there is nothing like the smell of England in the summer. I feel better already" he mumbles to himself. He pulls a futuristic phone out of his pocket which he uses to lead him to the time fizzure. Walking along, he sees a group of Morris Dancers on the village green and can't resist joining in. As he vainly tries to match their dancing he hears laughter behind him. Turning round he sees a young woman in a police uniform laughing at him:
"Excuse me madam but I'd rather you didn't laugh at my dancing efforts" he shouts.
"Efforts being the right word. Your legs are too long for that, you look like a drunken crane fly" the woman shouts, giggling and eating a small pork pie.
"I am the Doctor. And who might you be?"
"Amy Pond. And before you say anything, I'm a kissagram not a policewoman. I was hired to give Sir Reginald Haxonby a treat.
"Who's he?" the Doctor asks.
"Chairman on the Village Hall Committee. Its his birthday. Eighty seven. I let him put his hand up my skirt and the old devil nearly had a heart attack" *Amy laughs again*.
Meanwhile by the side of the green, something senses the Doctor's presence. It appears to be Gerald Dobbs a farm labourer and his dog, however Dobbs is posessed by the escaped creature. It eyes the Doctor menacingly...... An elderly woman notices Dobbs' mouth widen revealing an horrific, animalistic appearance. Before she can scream, an invisible energy beam shoots from Dobb's mouth and sets her on fire, the flames hissing and spitting through her hair. Dobbs slips away quickly.The Doctor rushes to help, however the old lady collapses dead in a smoking heap.
"Wha... what the hell happened?" Amy asks.
"Amy, there are forces at work in this village that could threaten the entire future of this planet. However I will do my very best to overcome them, as I always do"......
...... to be continued.
The TARDIS lands in Little Bidcombe in 2010. The Doctor admires his new, gleaming silver and white TARDIS console. The design is futuristic and minimalist. John Foxx's 'Metamatic" album plays in the background, which was a gift from a former companion. The Doctor felt that some music would help him relax after regenerating. He is now dressed in a tweed jacket and bowtie.
Leaving the TARDIS, he strides out of a spinney onto a country lane. The sun is shining and he sniffs the air:
"Hmm there is nothing like the smell of England in the summer. I feel better already" he mumbles to himself. He pulls a futuristic phone out of his pocket which he uses to lead him to the time fizzure. Walking along, he sees a group of Morris Dancers on the village green and can't resist joining in. As he vainly tries to match their dancing he hears laughter behind him. Turning round he sees a young woman in a police uniform laughing at him:
"Excuse me madam but I'd rather you didn't laugh at my dancing efforts" he shouts.
"Efforts being the right word. Your legs are too long for that, you look like a drunken crane fly" the woman shouts, giggling and eating a small pork pie.
"I am the Doctor. And who might you be?"
"Amy Pond. And before you say anything, I'm a kissagram not a policewoman. I was hired to give Sir Reginald Haxonby a treat.
"Who's he?" the Doctor asks.
"Chairman on the Village Hall Committee. Its his birthday. Eighty seven. I let him put his hand up my skirt and the old devil nearly had a heart attack" *Amy laughs again*.
Meanwhile by the side of the green, something senses the Doctor's presence. It appears to be Gerald Dobbs a farm labourer and his dog, however Dobbs is posessed by the escaped creature. It eyes the Doctor menacingly...... An elderly woman notices Dobbs' mouth widen revealing an horrific, animalistic appearance. Before she can scream, an invisible energy beam shoots from Dobb's mouth and sets her on fire, the flames hissing and spitting through her hair. Dobbs slips away quickly.The Doctor rushes to help, however the old lady collapses dead in a smoking heap.
"Wha... what the hell happened?" Amy asks.
"Amy, there are forces at work in this village that could threaten the entire future of this planet. However I will do my very best to overcome them, as I always do"......
...... to be continued.
Monday, 5 April 2010
An alternate "The Eleventh Hour"
An alternate "The Eleventh Hour"
OK, it is clear that 'The Eleventh Hour' has recieved a largely favourable response, however I feel that aspects of it could have been much much better. Here is an alternate synopsis of the story which hopefully will show how I would have presented the story:
The Eleventh Hour
Alone in her bedroom, young Amy Pond is staring sadly at the crack in the wall. She has few toys and her room is bare and shabby, due to neglect by her abusive aunt. As she starts to hum a tune to herself she hears footsteps on the landing and the door is flung open. It is Linda Pond, her late father's older sister & Amy's sole guardian. She has a cigarette in her mouth and is worse for wear on vodka:
"Shut that damn racket you little bitch. You do my 'ed in."Amy cowers in fear as she has recieved a thwack from her aunt many times for less. But this time something strange happens. There is a transluscent glow from the crack in the wall and suddenly a glimmering snake-like creature emerges. Linda drops her vodka bottle as the creature shoots at her head. She is instantly posessed by the thing and walks out of the room and out of the house into the cold, misty night. Amy is relieved that her aunt has gone and lies down to sleep.
Meanwhile the burning TARDIS crashes in the garden. The Doctor emerges, dishevelled, and staggers towards the house. He knocks on the door several times before Amy creeps downstairs and lets him in.
"Excuse me but can I speak to your parents please" the Doctor mumbles.
"They're both dead. I'm looked after by my aunt but she's just gone out" Amy replies.
"What and she's left you in the house on your own? That is totally irresponsible, although sadly not necessarily uncommon. May I come in and rest for a while. I assure you that I am not a criminal; I am in fact a time traveller" the Doctor states.
"Thats ok. My aunt doesn't mind criminals anyway, not the sort that sell her white powdery stuff anyway".The Doctor is disgusted:
"This is outrageous. When will she be back, I'll give her a right good taking to" he sternly states.
"I don't know. This smake thing came out of the wall and took her over." Amy mumbles.The Doctor rushes inside, concerned. He grabs a sandwich from the kitchen table and wolfs it down before rushing upstairs. He inspects the crack and is shocked to see strange dark forms moving inside. The crack closes.
"Oh no. That is a time fissure and whatever has escaped could be from anywhere in the universe. I must use the TARDIS to locate the precise point in time that the place behind the crack is at."
"Can I come with you" Amy asks.
"No. You are too young. However I will text social services on my way out". The Doctor picks up the vodka bottle and throws it in the downstairs bin, while grabbing another sandwich. He then rushes back to the TARDIS.............
................. to be continued.
OK, it is clear that 'The Eleventh Hour' has recieved a largely favourable response, however I feel that aspects of it could have been much much better. Here is an alternate synopsis of the story which hopefully will show how I would have presented the story:
The Eleventh Hour
Alone in her bedroom, young Amy Pond is staring sadly at the crack in the wall. She has few toys and her room is bare and shabby, due to neglect by her abusive aunt. As she starts to hum a tune to herself she hears footsteps on the landing and the door is flung open. It is Linda Pond, her late father's older sister & Amy's sole guardian. She has a cigarette in her mouth and is worse for wear on vodka:
"Shut that damn racket you little bitch. You do my 'ed in."Amy cowers in fear as she has recieved a thwack from her aunt many times for less. But this time something strange happens. There is a transluscent glow from the crack in the wall and suddenly a glimmering snake-like creature emerges. Linda drops her vodka bottle as the creature shoots at her head. She is instantly posessed by the thing and walks out of the room and out of the house into the cold, misty night. Amy is relieved that her aunt has gone and lies down to sleep.
Meanwhile the burning TARDIS crashes in the garden. The Doctor emerges, dishevelled, and staggers towards the house. He knocks on the door several times before Amy creeps downstairs and lets him in.
"Excuse me but can I speak to your parents please" the Doctor mumbles.
"They're both dead. I'm looked after by my aunt but she's just gone out" Amy replies.
"What and she's left you in the house on your own? That is totally irresponsible, although sadly not necessarily uncommon. May I come in and rest for a while. I assure you that I am not a criminal; I am in fact a time traveller" the Doctor states.
"Thats ok. My aunt doesn't mind criminals anyway, not the sort that sell her white powdery stuff anyway".The Doctor is disgusted:
"This is outrageous. When will she be back, I'll give her a right good taking to" he sternly states.
"I don't know. This smake thing came out of the wall and took her over." Amy mumbles.The Doctor rushes inside, concerned. He grabs a sandwich from the kitchen table and wolfs it down before rushing upstairs. He inspects the crack and is shocked to see strange dark forms moving inside. The crack closes.
"Oh no. That is a time fissure and whatever has escaped could be from anywhere in the universe. I must use the TARDIS to locate the precise point in time that the place behind the crack is at."
"Can I come with you" Amy asks.
"No. You are too young. However I will text social services on my way out". The Doctor picks up the vodka bottle and throws it in the downstairs bin, while grabbing another sandwich. He then rushes back to the TARDIS.............
................. to be continued.
Saturday, 3 April 2010
Problems with "The Eleventh Hour"
There were so many things wrong with that story that the list could go on forever. However here goes:
1) Wafer thin plotting. The story was simplistic CBBCish fare that reminded me of a poor episode of the SJA. An alien escapes than gets zapped by its guards with a lot of running around in between.
2) All style over substance. Garish colours, gaudy sets and no intelligence in the scripting.
3) Few memorable or witty lines.
4) Everyone behaving like a child with no proper adult characters other than undeveloped support characters who we learn little about.
5) A boring, dragging sense to it all.
6) The redesigned TARDIS is garish and clearly merchandise driven.
7) The new theme music is a poor and overcooked distortion of the original.
1) Wafer thin plotting. The story was simplistic CBBCish fare that reminded me of a poor episode of the SJA. An alien escapes than gets zapped by its guards with a lot of running around in between.
2) All style over substance. Garish colours, gaudy sets and no intelligence in the scripting.
3) Few memorable or witty lines.
4) Everyone behaving like a child with no proper adult characters other than undeveloped support characters who we learn little about.
5) A boring, dragging sense to it all.
6) The redesigned TARDIS is garish and clearly merchandise driven.
7) The new theme music is a poor and overcooked distortion of the original.
"The Eleventh Hour": Absolute drivel.
The new Doctor Who story was a huge disappointment; probably the worst new Doctor story yet, which is saying a lot considering that 'The Twin Dilemma' & 'Time and the Rani' were both rather atrocious. Wafer-thin plot, a tone pitched purely at the under 8s, lots of overacting and a general sense of 'seen it all before'. Steven Moffat needs to raise his game if he is to avoid a short run as head writer.
Monday, 29 March 2010
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