OK folks, here is part 8 of this explosive story:
"THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM: PART 8
Katie puts her foot down on the accelerator and shouts at the others:
"Hang on, this might be ¤¤¤¤ing rough!"
As the police car drives straight at them Katie abruptly swerves to the right and dodges it. The police car shoots forward and has no time to avoid a white van which is moving up behind. The police car and the van crash into each other and explode into flames. Paul, Corinne, Jake and Katie all give a cheer and zoom off into the distance.
Meanwhile at the prison a feminine figure approaches the imposing doorway and rings the buzzer. A burly prison guard answers on the intercom device:
"Yeah? Who is it?"
"It is Chief Inspector Chiang. You expecting me".
"Oh hang on".
The guard undoes the locks and opens the door letting the oriental person in, who is holding up an identity card.
"You're here to interrogate that Chatham an' 'is mate ain't ya. ¤¤¤¤ing bandit. I'd sow their arses up" the obese guard comments, spitting on the floor.
"I not interested in your opinion. Please show me to the prisoners!"
The guard grunts and mumbles something under his breath about 'chinks' before leading the way to the cells. As he fumbles with his keys to unlock the door of Ben's cell, the oriental person places a hand on his shoulder. A ring on their finger glows red and the guard collapses on the floor. Ben stirs from an uncomfortable slumber as he hears the cell door opening. The oriental person walks in:
"There no time to explain. I hear to get you out of this place."
Ben frowns:
"You're not one of my employees. I'm not aware of any chinese woman on the staff. I don't trust you."
"I not a chinese woman. I beautiful Thai ladyboy Lin Sang. I sent by the Doctor whom I been travelling with. He busy dealing with a Sontaran plot to invade Orion5 so he send me to help you." Ben stares at Lin Sang:
"Well you certainly had me fooled. I presume you use hair extensions and false breasts. "
"I no time to discuss my appearance. Please come with me."
"Ben reaches over to Kyle and gives him a gentle shake to wake him up. Then he helps the injured and bruised Kyle to his feet and follows Lin Sang out of the cell. As they approach a bunch of guards Lin Sang holds up a metallic, silver disc. The guards all fall down asleep.
"What is that thing?" Ben asks.
"It a Xianovian comfort disc. The Doctor lend it to me. They wake in two hours." Ben is irritated:
"I could have used that device many times. Its extremely inconsiderate of the Doctor not to give me one."
Lin Sang uses the device a few more times until they have recovered Ben'sa mobile and are safely out of the prison. Lin Sang leads them to a pink sports car which they help Kyle into before driving off at speed.
Later Ben, Kyle and Lin Sang meet up with the others at a secret location; a disused aerodrome sometimes used by Operation Delta to store equipment. In one of the hangers, Katie ties Luke Hanson to a chair and throws a bucket of water over him.
"Now you're going to talk Hanson or I'll make you suffer!"
Ben takes her to one side:
"Katie this is inappropriate. Operation Delta does not torture prisoners." Katie frowns:
"You're such a ¤¤¤¤ing wuss sometimes Ben. Anyway I'm not torturing him. Just scaring him a little."
They walk over to Hanson who looks terrified:
"Look you don't know what you're dealing with. They'll kill me if I say anything."
Katie removes a high-heeled shoe and raises it above Hanson's head.
"Ok Ok..... look I was offered the chance to start a new life. To get off the game and have piles of cash."
"Who by?" Ben asks.
"By..... look its the security services ok. MI5, MI6... the whole lot. They're outside of the law now. They can do anything. They are all infiltrated by some group or other. The government as well. All I know is that they answer to someone called Drake. John Drake". Ben frowns:
"John Drake? You mean the Defence Secretary John Drake?"
"I don't know who the hell the guy is. Just the name."
Ben is concerned:
"If the conspiracy stretches all the way up to the cabinet then we really are in trouble. *Turning to Hanson* I am extremely hurt and upset by your actions . You were excellent in bed and I wanted you to become a regular sexual activity partner."
Later Ben, Katie and Lin Sang walk into the Ministry of Defence in London and Lin Sang uses the Xianovian comfort disc to render unconscious the security and office staff. They make their way up to the Minister's office and barge in. Sitting behind a large oak desk, the Minister stares angrily as Ben strides forward:
"Mr Drake, I am Ben Chatham. You will now tell us exactly why you have been trying to destroy my name and my organisation........"
............to be continued.
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7 comments:
Apparently you've been sending word you require my assistance - and also you're too dim to contact me through my numerous blogs or google "Youth of Australia".
Well, oh paragon of intellect and enthusiasm, here I am.
What do you want?
This is Sandor/Mutie/LBC I'm leaving this here for posterity/safe keeping for when it's deleted from Gallifrey base.
Ben and Kyle where invesitaging strange happenings when they came across an eerie and desolate deserted village .. all around where smoked out buildings and abandoned businesses, and not a single sign of life or habitation. Our heroes where baffled by this mysterious dread place...
As they searched for clues... the became aware of smoke coming from an above mountain ledge. When they arrived to investiage, Kyle rolled back a large stone blocking the entrance to a cave. Soon the blazing of Ben's touch burned the eyes of a strange figure who had not seen light or human company in some time. A hideously ugly and twisted hermit, with a yellowed face and the scars of stab wounds all over his person. Ben said, "look here now, tell me about this place, what happened here?"
The hermit began to tale his tale... I AM THE LEMON ABOMINATION and this was once Gallium Frey, a mighty township in the kingdom of Whom. Once this place was plauged by bizarre politics, puritanical attitudes and mob mentality. A wise villager called Mork saw this and wanted to do something about it, so he crafted a fool's mask in the shape of a fish-man and would make a mockery of the absurditys of the social customs of Gallium Frey and the land of Whom. People would come for miles to jeer and pelt him with stones.. but some saw the wisdom in Mork's folly and delighted in how he made a mock of those who would perscute and jeer him. In my admiring youth, I was especially inspired and crafted my own mask in the shaped of a Lemon-headed creature, soon others did too, and those who once jeered the Fish Emperor found pleasure in his fooling. Soon enough the Fish Emperor was one of the most legendary and talked about characters in Gallium Frey, even in Whom. For years and years he we held in high position as people came in mass numbers to see him caper.
After many years, the mayor of Gallium Frey, the Robot Nicked Physician began to feel the Fish Emperor was getting too powerful and notable a part of Gallium Frey life. Many of the villagers were jealous of the attention the Fish Emperor recieved and suppored his charges.. though he was too popular to simply imprision or exile without an uprising. But the mayor had a plan! For a long time the followes of the Fish Emperor had asked for their own land to be free of persecution.. so he would finally give them it! He set up a ghetto far outside and out of view of the city limits of Gallium Frey and posted soliders and guards around its gates. No one could leave and return to the main city unless they swore an oath to never speak of the Fish Emperor. Inside the city those who spoke of the wise fish-headed fool where persecuted or exiled to the ghetto. Soon the Fish Emperor's legend faded, yet still the Robot Nicked Physician would enter the ghetto himself and dictate how the Fish Emperors few remaining followers could live.
It is here where the lines between the mask of the Lemon Abomination and the man behind became blurred, I lost my mind and started becoming the fool's mask and began a bloody revolt against our exile... this sparked a war and huge crack downs on the people of Gallium Frey to prevent subversive elements, soon the city was destroyed or people fleed to other lands.. yet I was exiled and chained in this cave. Yet I have maintained my belief that one day the Fish Emperor will return to Gallium Frey and laughter will once again ringing from its grim streets. The Robot Nicked Physician had this power to exile me, or anyone within his cities walls, yet the flexing of his power did not help his city grow any more mighty. indeed it has lead it to ruins as the people where quite free to go and settle anywhere they wanted in the land of Whom as much as the control freak Mayor was free to exile them.
Heed this story and learn its lessons. Oh, hark!
Ben and Kyle where invesitaging strange happenings when they came across an eerie and desolate deserted village .. all around where smoked out buildings and abandoned businesses, and not a single sign of life or habitation. Our heroes where baffled by this mysterious dread place...
As they searched for clues... the became aware of smoke coming from an above mountain ledge. When they arrived to investiage, Kyle rolled back a large stone blocking the entrance to a cave. Soon the blazing of Ben's touch burned the eyes of a strange figure who had not seen light or human company in some time. A hideously ugly and twisted hermit, with a yellowed face and the scars of stab wounds all over his person. Ben said, "look here now, tell me about this place, what happened here?"
The hermit began to tale his tale... I AM THE LEMON ABOMINATION and this was once Gallium Frey, a mighty township in the kingdom of Whom. Once this place was plauged by bizarre politics, puritanical attitudes and mob mentality. A wise villager called Mork saw this and wanted to do something about it, so he crafted a fool's mask in the shape of a fish-man and would make a mockery of the absurditys of the social customs of Gallium Frey and the land of Whom. People would come for miles to jeer and pelt him with stones.. but some saw the wisdom in Mork's folly and delighted in how he made a mock of those who would perscute and jeer him. In my admiring youth, I was especially inspired and crafted my own mask in the shaped of a Lemon-headed creature, soon others did too, and those who once jeered the Fish Emperor found pleasure in his fooling. Soon enough the Fish Emperor was one of the most legendary and talked about characters in Gallium Frey, even in Whom. For years and years he we held in high position as people came in mass numbers to see him caper.
After many years, the mayor of Gallium Frey, the Robot Nicked Physician began to feel the Fish Emperor was getting too powerful and notable a part of Gallium Frey life. Many of the villagers were jealous of the attention the Fish Emperor recieved and suppored his charges.. though he was too popular to simply imprision or exile without an uprising. But the mayor had a plan! For a long time the followes of the Fish Emperor had asked for their own land to be free of persecution.. so he would finally give them it! He set up a ghetto far outside and out of view of the city limits of Gallium Frey and posted soliders and guards around its gates. No one could leave and return to the main city unless they swore an oath to never speak of the Fish Emperor. Inside the city those who spoke of the wise fish-headed fool where persecuted or exiled to the ghetto. Soon the Fish Emperor's legend faded, yet still the Robot Nicked Physician would enter the ghetto himself and dictate how the Fish Emperors few remaining followers could live.
It is here where the lines between the mask of the Lemon Abomination and the man behind became blurred, I lost my mind and started becoming the fool's mask and began a bloody revolt against our exile... this sparked a war and huge crack downs on the people of Gallium Frey to prevent subversive elements, soon the city was destroyed or people fleed to other lands.. yet I was exiled and chained in this cave. Yet I have maintained my belief that one day the Fish Emperor will return to Gallium Frey and laughter will once again ringing from its grim streets. The Robot Nicked Physician had this power to exile me, or anyone within his cities walls, yet the flexing of his power did not help his city grow any more mighty. indeed it has lead it to ruins as the people where quite free to go and settle anywhere they wanted in the land of Whom as much as the control freak Mayor was free to exile them.
Heed this story and learn its lessons. Oh, hark!
"Well, oh paragon of intellect and enthusiasm, here I am.
What do you want?"
A Ben Chatham fanzine is in the pipeline and I was wondering if you were willing to submit some artwork. Might be too late now.
Not my fault, spara - YOU took a whole month to reply.
And does LBC's mental flatulence need to fill up the comments section - TWICE - given you've already made it a post of its own.
Honestly, the service at this blog is totally subpar! Ron Mallet has a better reaction time...
Oh well. I'll let you know when the fanzine comes out so that you can order a copy.
And why would I want your mythical non-existent fanzine? Let alone pay money for it?
Have YOU ever listened to MY audio play which is free to download at this very moment?
Maybe when you do, I'll consider wasting my hard-earned cash on this "pipeline" fanzine that doesn't even HAVE A NAME.
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