Saturday 3 April 2010

Problems with "The Eleventh Hour"

There were so many things wrong with that story that the list could go on forever. However here goes:

1) Wafer thin plotting. The story was simplistic CBBCish fare that reminded me of a poor episode of the SJA. An alien escapes than gets zapped by its guards with a lot of running around in between.

2) All style over substance. Garish colours, gaudy sets and no intelligence in the scripting.

3) Few memorable or witty lines.

4) Everyone behaving like a child with no proper adult characters other than undeveloped support characters who we learn little about.

5) A boring, dragging sense to it all.

6) The redesigned TARDIS is garish and clearly merchandise driven.

7) The new theme music is a poor and overcooked distortion of the original.

7 comments:

Thomas Gilling said...

That's the funniest thing you have ever wrote. You forgot to add 8 which would be 'No Adam Rickkit'. The plot was simple, but great for a romp which this is. The sets looked good and they were not garish as some other era's. No memorable line's like 'Let's have sex!' or 'Reverse the Polarity of the spunk flow'. No because everyone was acting like a child, the woman Doctor was adult and cared for the sick, Geoff was looking at naked pictures of Adam Rickitt and Sian Williams, I thought you would like that Spara! And of course a Kiss o gram, you defo like her Spara, it's your level. Boring? You just said they were running around... must be REAL slow for them to run around. Everything if you look at it can be made into Merchandise including you. The Theme music just wasn't as intense as other versions, it was a surprise!

Anonymous said...

I'm very happy to say that you seem to be in a particularly underwhelming minority!

sparacus said...

"I'm very happy to say that you seem to be in a particularly underwhelming minority!"

Theres an old saying:

"A hundred fools do not make one wise man".

Bernie Fishnotes said...

1) Wafer thin plotting. The story was simplistic CBBCish fare that reminded me of a poor episode of the SJA. An alien escapes than gets zapped by its guards with a lot of running around in between.

1)Have you read any of your stuff? Compared to your usual plots this was an epic!

2) All style over substance. Garish colours, gaudy sets and no intelligence in the scripting.

See Point 1.

3) Few memorable or witty lines.

"Box falls from Sky, Man falls from Box, Man eats Fish Custard."

Now, can I quote anything you've written?

Also, see Point 1.

4) Everyone behaving like a child with no proper adult characters other than undeveloped support characters who we learn little about.

4)See Point 1.

5) A boring, dragging sense to it all.

5) See point 1, and indeed read Chateau of Death. Nine parts in, and your hero STILL hasn't met the villain!

6) The redesigned TARDIS is garish and clearly merchandise driven.

6)How? the pictures of it show that it's far too big, plus if you ever bothered to go into the merchandising area of the forums you'd see that a) the last TARDIS playset was last seen on shelves for a fiver due to consumer disinterest, and b) there's no plans to release one!

7) The new theme music is a poor and overcooked distortion of the original.

7)Yeah, I'll give you that one!

The Vigilante said...

"A hundred fools do not make one wise man".

Witty Responce: Sadly there's only 1 of you Sparacus, not 100.

Edukated Responce: True, but what constitues a fool and what consitututes a wise man? Since this is an entirely opinion based matter everything you say is completly circustancial evidence or an unsubstantiated comment. I for one quite liked the 11th Hour, and without sounding too big headed, I am brilliant.

Oscar Wilde Responce: Quotation is a brilliant substitute for intelligence.

Youth of Australia said...

There were so many things wrong with that story that the list could go on forever.
Wow, how very insightful of you. There's lots of things you don't like but you can't list them. Ergo, your opinions can't be very important...

1) Wafer thin plotting.
And how do you define "plot"?

The story was simplistic CBBCish fare
Continuing the tradition of a simple story to introduce the new Doctor.

that reminded me of a poor episode of the SJA.
You think all SJAs are poor.

An alien escapes than gets zapped by its guards with a lot of running around in between.
So? The Caves of Androzani is an emo loser lusts over a girl who plays with bat shit with a lot of running around in between. Any story can be reduced to such a one line description.

Now, Resurrection of the Daleks, even Eric Saward agrees THAT is what you call wafer thin plot.

2) All style over substance. Garish colours, gaudy sets and no intelligence in the scripting.
These are all subjective to someone who only appreciates buildings that resemble his own genitalia.

What evidence do you have for "no intelligence in the scripting"?

3) Few memorable or witty lines.
And what do you define as "memorable" or "witty"?

4) Everyone behaving like a child with no proper adult characters other than undeveloped support characters who we learn little about.
Again, examples?

5) A boring, dragging sense to it all.
Subjective. You're an alcoholic with no sense of pacing, this is established.

6) The redesigned TARDIS is garish and clearly merchandise driven.
So? So was the 80s version and the RTD version.

7) The new theme music is a poor and overcooked distortion of the original.
Why is that the fault of the Eleventh Hour? It's easily fixed, just don't listen to the theme music.

Ye gods, Spara, your pathetic whines get less interesting every day.

Zygma_Experiment said...

And you're in a position to criticise these things how?

You're talking out of your arse again Spara. Not for the first time.