Friday 27 July 2007

My Pitch For Season 4 Part 2

EPISODE 4: FROM THE DEPTHS

First of a two part story

A body is washed up on a Norfolk beach, horribly mutilated. The TARDIS lands in Norwich, where the Doctor wishes to attend a conference at Norwich Cathedral on gothic architecture. Donna is not impressed, so Ben agrees to go with her on a walk about the town. In a café, Ben and Donna overhear an eccentric tramp babbling on about having hitched from coastal town Hunstanton to get away from ‘the creatures’ that stalk the streets at night there. “They come in from Brancaster Bay” he claims. Everybody else ignores the tramp, however as they are leaving, Ben & Donna see two men get up from a table, grab the tramp & bundle him into a car.Ben & Donna contact the Doctor who agrees to investigate that evening and the TARDIS lands near Brancaster Bay. However the whole area is cordoned off with security fences with ‘New World Enterprises’ signs, Stephen Poole’s company. The Doctor learns from a local fisherman Jack that the whole area has been cordoned off for supposed research purposes, however the local community believe that something is being secretly dumped off the coast. The Doctor persuades Jack to take him out in the fishing boat, while Ben & Donna book into as b&b in Hunstanton to check out the tramp’s story. Out at sea at night, the Doctor and Jack witness canisters being dumped off the side of a large boat. They are seen and men from the boat start shooting at them. Back in Hunstanton, Ben & Donna are exploring the streets at night when they are confronted by….. Silurians!

EPISODE 5: REPTILIAN DAWN

Ben & Donna are chased by Silurians, while the Doctor is captured by the boat crew after Jack is shot dead. The crew leader admits to illegally dumping chemicals off the coast to save time and cash . However the ship is attacked by Sea Devils who kill most of the crew . The Doctor tries to reason with them, however they argue that the canisters are rupturing in the depths and polluting the sea. ‘We have come to reclaim our earth from the irresponsible usurper species’ they claim. Meanwhile, Silurians and Sea Devils emerge all along the Norfolk coast in their thousands and begin a relentless march to Norwich.Ben & Donna hide in a disused warehouse, where Ben phones UNIT & Torchwood. Emerging, they find the Silurians gone . The Doctor uses a Venusian Bliss Spray (shaped like a cigarette lighter) to stun the Sea Devils into a state of happy lethargy and escapes in Jack’s fishing boat. UNIT arrive , as does a para-military force owned by Poole’s New World Enerprises. A huge row ensues about the ethics of using reason first or just force against the Silurians, however the New World Enerprises group pre-empt the conclusion by spraying nerve chemicals all over the marching Silurian/Sea Devil hoards , killing them and hundreds of Norfolk people.The UNIT Brigadier threatens to go to the press with all of this, however Poole’s force commander assures him that press & politicians are ‘in our pockets’. Just to reinforce this, he hands the Brigadier a phone saying ‘speak to the PM’. It is clear that the PM backs New World Enterprises’.The Doctor arrives and Ben & Donna furiously tell him of recent developments. He feigns lack of concern, however back in the TARDIS, he admits that Stephen Poole is a deadly threat to the world, and will need careful investigation.

EPISODE 6: CAVALIERS

Attempting to travel to Cardiff to enlist the support of Captain Jack & Torchwood, the TARDIS is thrown off track by a cosmic storm, landing in England in the 1640s . The Civil War is raging and the Doctor, Ben & Donna take refuge in a country house owned by Sir Philip Blanchet, a royalist , and defended by cavaliers. At first treated with suspicion, the TARDIS crew are welcomed into the house after the Doctor convinces them that he supports the King. They are secretly hiding the Prince of Wales & future Charles II in the house. However at night, Donna learns by listening through a door that Blanchet & his valet are secret parliamentarians who plan to deliver the boy to his enemies. She is caught listening and thrown into a rat infested cellar. Later an army of roundheads arrive & Blanchet orders the men not to fire but to ‘let them in for negotiations’. Ben & the Doctor smell a rat and smuggle the Prince out through the back of the house. They catch a glimpse of the roundhead commander and are shocked to see Stephen Poole, clearly manipulating history again. Ben asks if he could be the Master, of whom he has heard about from Martha Jones. ‘Oh no its not him. At least he was a known quantity’ the Doctor replies. The Doctor speculates that Poole needed the monasteries dissolved to deliver land to the protestant aristocracy who in turn could be persuaded to sell it to companies like his in the future.They hide the Prince in the TARDIS, while Donna escapes from the cellar by decking a guard with a feisty right-hook and runs through the house as the TARDIS lands in the main hall. Reunited, the TARDIS crew deposit the Prince safely in France.

28 comments:

Youth of Australia said...

Seriously, Spara, I have to ask...

WHY don't you just edit the posts?

Why?!

It's easy to do!

Oh well...

EPISODE 4: FROM THE DEPTHS
Still haven't been off-Earth or into the future.

A body is washed up on a Norfolk beach, horribly mutilated.
Another cliche. That's been done in two of the last three episodes! Think of something NEW!

And just who horribly mutilated the body? Sea Devils? They're vegetarians! And why let the body wash up on the shore?

The TARDIS lands in Norwich, where the Doctor wishes to attend a conference at Norwich Cathedral on gothic architecture.
Why?

Let's be brutally honest here, the Tenth Doctor does not strike me as someone interested in gothic architecture and even if he WAS... he'd just travel back in time. Why on EARTH would a conference be interesting to him when he could see the real thing?

And this, I note, has nothing to do with any of the plot. If he was say looking at some strange archaeological find it might not only be relevant but give Ben something to do.

Donna is not impressed,
Neither am I.

so Ben agrees to go with her on a walk about the town.
Oh, God, Ben's not choosing Donna for his latest 'fag-hag-that-looks-good-on-the-arm', is he?

It's just such nice behavior from him it strikes me a suspicious. If it were Katie he would have called her "numbnuts" and dragged her to the conference by her hair.

In a café, Ben and Donna overhear an eccentric tramp
Another cliche.

babbling on about having hitched from coastal town Hunstanton to get away from ‘the creatures’ that stalk the streets at night there.
Ripped off from Stangeness, Terror of the Zygons... I have a distinct feeling an old enemy is returning, and if I'm right about what it is...
WHY TURN UP AT NIGHT?!

YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO SHATTER APE'S MINDS LIKE GLASS!

Why is the tramp the only one to know what's going on? In 2009 the world would be paranoid about aliens and monsters, so a story like that would already have UNIT in it...

“They come in from Brancaster Bay” he claims. Everybody else ignores the tramp, however as they are leaving, Ben & Donna see two men get up from a table, grab the tramp & bundle him into a car.
CHRIST! Haven't you noticed you use this thing all the time!

We don't SEE these monsters, or have any evidence of it happening, just some passing nutter tells a scary story before MIBs who travel by car kidnap him for no obvious reason... NO ONE WAS LISTENING TO HIM, SO ALL THEY'VE DONE IS DRAW ATTENTION!

What happens to the tramp? Who are these MIBs? And why are they trying to draw attention to themselves?

And if they're working for the enemy, that's just stupid in itself.

Ben & Donna contact the Doctor who agrees to investigate that evening and the TARDIS lands near Brancaster Bay.
Why is it that you always have the Doctor land AWAY from the action, then use the TARDIS to travel there ages after something interesting happens?

However the whole area is cordoned off with security fences with ‘New World Enterprises’ signs, Stephen Poole’s company.
And the Doctor isn't concerned?

The Doctor learns from a local fisherman Jack
That's just asking for confusion. Still, at least you didn't call him Jock.

that the whole area has been cordoned off for supposed research purposes, however the local community believe that something is being secretly dumped off the coast.
Why? What evidence is there? People never seem to back up their theories... has it not struck them that the secret dump operation IS the research?

The Doctor persuades Jack to take him out in the fishing boat,
Why? Can't he use the TARDIS? Can't he just borrow a fishing boat?

while Ben & Donna book into as b&b in Hunstanton to check out the tramp’s story.
They could just read the local paper. Or call UNIT. But no, they BOTH have to go to a hotel...

Seriously, there is no reason so far in this series for Ben to actually BE there. What's he done? Used his mobile and appeared in scenes with Donna, crucially stealing the limelight.

Why? Have you run out of ideas for his "spin off" "adventures"?

Out at sea at night, the Doctor and Jack witness canisters being dumped off the side of a large boat.
Exactly WHY would a housing development scheme need this toxic waste dumped? And why aren't there some kind of security STOPPING locals from seeing it? And why choose the one village where Lovecraftian reptile beasts are alive and acting?

They are seen and men from the boat start shooting at them.
Too little too late. What sort of security does NWE have? A canary in a cage?

Back in Hunstanton, Ben & Donna are exploring the streets at night when they are confronted by….. Silurians!
OI!

"Earth Reptiles" if you please, or at least "Eocenes" to give them their proper, Doctor-approved title!

And why are Silurians terrorizing a seabound community... when they have SEA DEVILS for just that purpose?

I have a horrible feeling you're undoing all the work of Malcolm Hulke and Jim Mortimore to just make the Silurians generic past monster of the week.

I mean, the fact they declared a truce with 21st century Mankind OBVIOUSLY went over your head.


EPISODE 5: REPTILIAN DAWN
I think you'll find it's not a dawn, as they are already awake, evolved, and powerful 65 million years previous.

Ben & Donna are chased by Silurians,
Chased? Bollocks. They either would have freaked out totally or the ERs would have blasted them with their third eyes!

while the Doctor is captured by the boat crew after Jack is shot dead.
Why is the Doctor captured alive? Why shoot Jack? Doesn't NWE realize he will be missed and draw attention to the operation?

The crew leader admits to illegally dumping chemicals off the coast to save time and cash.
Why does NWE have such chemicals? Since it's such a big corporation, why is it trying to pointlessly save a few quid when it risks ruining potential further revenue? I mean, have you never heard of Underwater Codominiums? All NWE is doing is reducing its potential construction sites...

If this was some cunning cover story and the chemicals were being used as anti-Eocene warfare, I might be interested, but sadly, this is clearly the truth.

However the ship is attacked by Sea Devils who kill most of the crew.
Sea Devils have a strict moral code, as established in Warriors of the Deep - unless ordered they will spare any enemy that is unarmed/defenceless/who surrenders.

Certainly they wouldn't leave any survivors by accident.

The Doctor tries to reason with them
Why should they listen to him? Sea Devils are grunts who would have no knowledge of the Pertwee stories... and, you know, the idea of ANOTHER Eocene bunker waking up that just HAPPENS to have both species is so unlikely, it's almost as ludicrous as RTD wanting to use this stuff.

however they argue that the canisters are rupturing in the depths and polluting the sea. ‘We have come to reclaim our earth from the irresponsible usurper species’
Sea Devils are saying that? Bollocks! Sea Devils don't talk like that - they'd just be killing people and looking cute. Besides, the Sea Devils (story) has them say they are reclaiming Earth because it's theirs, not because they think humanity is doing a crap job of maintaining the environment.

DO SOME FUCKING RESEARCH BEFORE YOU WRITE SEQUELS!

they claim.
So... it's not the truth?

What is the truth?

Can't we handle the truth?

Sea Devils lie now, do they?

Meanwhile, Silurians and Sea Devils emerge all along the Norfolk coast in their thousands
Hello? SILURIANS CAN'T SWIM!!!

and begin a relentless march to Norwich.
March!? Damn it, they have transport, you know! And as they're not bullet proof, a march like that is suicide - they can't be sure the Lovecraft effect (which you've totally ignored, BTW) could stop any military strike, and what happens if the shore is bombed? What do they do then?

Ben & Donna hide in a disused warehouse
Yeah. A tiny fishing community has a disused warehouse. Sure.

where Ben phones UNIT & Torchwood.
For fuck's sake.

a) crap use of Ben
b) crap use of plot - these organizations should already be investigating
c) you did EXACTLY the same thing in Road Rage - THIS IS A SHIT ENDING!

Emerging, they find the Silurians gone.
Where? Why?

The Doctor uses a Venusian Bliss Spray (shaped like a cigarette lighter) to stun the Sea Devils into a state of happy lethargy and escapes in Jack’s fishing boat.
What a shit plot twist.

"Never fear everyone, I have some recreational drugs to stop the monsters! Remember kids - Doctor Who says it's OK to get high."

Why couldn't he just convince them to turn good and help him out? It'd make things more interesting and the ending more tragic...

UNIT arrive , as does a para-military force owned by Poole’s New World Enerprises.
So Poole's sending his own military force... to stop a problem... he accidentally started?

Bollocks!

If Poole had a military force of his own, why didn't he use it in Road Rage?

A huge row ensues about the ethics of using reason first or just force against the Silurians,
Especially since they made a truce with humanity, so this must be some rogue faction, so why not get the GOOD Eocenes to come to the rescue?

however the New World Enerprises group pre-empt the conclusion by spraying nerve chemicals all over the marching Silurian/Sea Devil hoards , killing them and hundreds of Norfolk people.
...

Right.

Apart from anything else, it's not clear nerve gas could stop the Eocenes (who can simply close their gills and dive into the ocean).

And, Poole expects to get away with this by wiping out the whole town in full view of UNIT.

Isn't this just a rip off of RTD's superior The Christmas Invasion?

The UNIT Brigadier threatens to go to the press with all of this,
Because no one is going to notice a fishing community being bombed with nerve gas UNLESS you tell the press... in fact, why aren't they already there?


however Poole’s force commander assures him that press & politicians are ‘in our pockets’.
At which point, the UNIT Brigadier declares emergency protocal 44A (as per The Time Monster) and shoots Poole's force commander dead.

Just to reinforce this, he hands the Brigadier a phone saying ‘speak to the PM’. It is clear that the PM backs New World Enterprises’.
For fuck's sake, this is a line by line rip off of The Green Death.

And who is the PM now, anyway?

The Doctor arrives and Ben & Donna furiously tell him of recent developments.
"Oh, Doctor, it was horrible! We had to hide in a warehouse and while we were doing fuck all, someone killed all the monsters and every unnamed, unspecific local, but luckily we survived!"

He feigns lack of concern, however back in the TARDIS,
Which is no doubt in the 'poison gas' zone? So how did they get in?

he admits that Stephen Poole is a deadly threat to the world, and will need careful nvestigation.
Bollocks! The Tenth Doctor, the Satsuma Throwing No Second Chances No More Mercy Deadly Retribution Time Lord, does NOT do subtley.

He would just go straight to Poole and imprison him in a photocopier for all eternity.

He would NOT let this go.

This is BULLSHIT!


EPISODE 6: CAVALIERS
Still on Earth - that's six episodes in a few not even in space, and five in the present day.

Can you at least SEE why I have a problem with this?

Attempting to travel to Cardiff to enlist the support of Captain Jack & Torchwood
Why not just RING him? In fact, they rang him in the previous episode, Sparacus you numbnuts! He should already be helping.

, the TARDIS is thrown off track by a cosmic storm
BOLLOCKS!

, landing in England in the 1640s.
Another rip off! This is just The Roundheads by Mark Gattis all over again!

COME UP WITH SOMETHING NEW, YOU MADMAN!

The Civil War is raging and the Doctor, Ben & Donna take refuge in a country house owned by Sir Philip Blanchet, a royalist , and defended by cavaliers.
Why not just leave in the TARDIS? Since Dissolution just proved there's no point in historicals because they can't do anything except spot Poole in a different period of time, they should just give up.

So would the audience if godforbid this was ever inflicted on them.

At first treated with suspicion, the TARDIS crew are welcomed into the house after the Doctor convinces them that he supports the King.
Right. Because no enemy would ever LIE about supporting the King, would they?

So... is he lying? Is he neutral? Come on here, let's not have the Doctor sit on the fence. If he can hate the Nazi War Machine, he can pick a side...

They are secretly hiding the Prince of Wales & future Charles II in the house.
Whoop-de-fucking-doo.

Who cares?

I'm sick of the royal family in this series - especially as they are inevitably revealed to be gormless morons manipulated by aliens and or werewolves...

However at night, Donna learns by listening through a door that Blanchet & his valet are secret parliamentarians who plan to deliver the boy to his enemies.
Who cares?

If you're not going to change history, let history sort itself out.

Why should Donna care? And if she does care, she would have kicked the door in, headbutted the both of them and taken charge.

No research done WHATSOEVER...

She is caught listening and thrown into a rat infested cellar.
That many rats? They'd eat her, or give her horrible diseases and kill her? And, you know, aren't Dumb and Dumber worried the Doctor might notice his shouty redhead has disappeared?

Later
How much later? Has Donna been in that cellar for years?

an army of roundheads arrive & Blanchet orders the men not to fire but to ‘let them in for negotiations’. Ben & the Doctor smell a rat
Not surprising if the house is infested with them.

and smuggle the Prince out through the back of the house. They catch a glimpse of the roundhead commander and are shocked
Why? I'm not shocked.

to see Stephen Poole, clearly manipulating history again.
BOR-RING.

Just confront him, Doctor, you big wuss. Screw the story arc for thirteen episodes, just do something interesting.

Ben asks if he could be the Master, of whom he has heard about from Martha Jones.
OI! SPARACUS YOU RETARD, BEN ALREADY MET THE MASTER, YOU DUMBASS! In your critically-unacclaimed adventure "Not alone!" And Ben would have noticed Mr. Saxon at least...

Why bring in Ben if he renders all your previous work noncanonical?

Still, if I had written the crap you had, I'd be trying to forget it to...

‘Oh no its not him. At least he was a known quantity’ the Doctor replies.
Yeah. At least. Which is why he whupped your arse and conquered the Earth till Martha Jones saved the entire fucking human race...

The Doctor speculates that Poole needed the monasteries dissolved to deliver land to the protestant aristocracy who in turn could be persuaded to sell it to companies like his in the future.
...

Why?

OK, everyone, you have the ability to manipulate all of history.

So... you try and make your development company more powerful by ripping off the plot of City of Death?

BOLLOCKS!

They hide the Prince in the TARDIS,
Yeah. THAT won't change history.

while Donna escapes from the cellar by decking a guard
What guard? Didn't anyone notice she was gone?

with a feisty
STOP USING THAT WORD, YOU BASTARD!

right-hook and runs through the house as the TARDIS lands in the main hall.
Once again, relocating the TARDIS saves on drama, character interaction and brain power.

Reunited, the TARDIS crew deposit the Prince safely in France.
...

That's it?

For God's sake, we have to put up with another six episodes of bumping into Steve Poole and his construction company on Earth while the Doctor, Donna and whoever he is run around, refusing to do anything?

You think this is actually what people WANT?

YOU ARE INSANE, SPARACUS!

BOWEL-SHATTERINGLY INSANE!

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

Congratulations, Spara! You have the ability to rip-off Mark Gatiss and Barry Letts. I'm very proud.

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

Oh, incidentally, I left my comment before reaidng yours, YoA. The instant thought I had was "rip off of [Letts/Gatiss]!"

Also, I have to say that I hate the whole Earth Reptile/Eocenes thing. It was a crappy bit of retcon that Hulke put in, and that doesn't make the monsters any more feasible. They'll always be Silurians to me.

FWIW, I've liked the idea for a while of Sea Devils appearing in a historical story where they've been accidently uncovered by the French and are being used as a secret weapon against Nelson's navy. The most ridiculous Who plot ever? Why thank you.

Youth of Australia said...

Also, I have to say that I hate the whole Earth Reptile/Eocenes thing. It was a crappy bit of retcon that Hulke put in, and that doesn't make the monsters any more feasible. They'll always be Silurians to me.
That's almost word for word what the Doctor says in Steel Nursery. Sweet.

Actually, keep it under your hats, but they worked out that the three-eyed reptile people are actually called Celaurians (which means, 'cave monsters') and the Silurian thing is just misheared by Dr Quinn, Mad Man.

But I like the name Eocene. Presumably Spara misread it as "Ecosene".


FWIW, I've liked the idea for a while of Sea Devils appearing in a historical story where they've been accidently uncovered by the French and are being used as a secret weapon against Nelson's navy. The most ridiculous Who plot ever? Why thank you.
Cool... certainly more imaginative than Spara's 'pure historicals' and 'current day eco bollocks'.

It has imagination, even though it does cover the similar ground of Bloodtide.

Youth of Australia said...

Actually, Spara, I was hoping for you work out a BC plot for me. I've got a basic ground, but I know the character wouldn't be the same without you providing dialogue and actions.

The plot:
Ben, hiding his gayness from his parents, decides a young socialite will be perfect to 'look good on his arm' and decides to woo her by spending some time with her on Christmas Day. He then discovers she is spending the day at the home of some unrefined chavs she is friends with.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?!?

That's what I need you for, Spara.

Write that scenario, and I promise never to criticize it ever.

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

That's almost word for word what the Doctor says in Steel Nursery. Sweet.

They must have been sweeping up the rubble of the fourth wall after that one...

Actually, keep it under your hats, but they worked out that the three-eyed reptile people are actually called Celaurians (which means, 'cave monsters') and the Silurian thing is just misheared by Dr Quinn, Mad Man.

That's a very cool explanation...

But I like the name Eocene.

It's alright, I guess... but it's not as catchy as Silurian.

Presumably Spara misread it as "Ecosene".

I'm still trying to work out if Spara is pro- or anti-environment. Okay, yes, the Doctor seems to be on the eco side, but still, they don't always win and a hell of a lot of greenies get brutally mutilated without explanation...

It has imagination, even though it does cover the similar ground of Bloodtide.

Ah, the eternal problem of DW fic... with so many novels, audios and comic strips the odds are your 'original' work has already been done...

Has anyone done a story where there's an 'Angel of Death' style villain running amock in the Battle of Badajoz? (For future reference..)

Youth of Australia said...

They must have been sweeping up the rubble of the fourth wall after that one...
Well, maybe not the Mac Hulke stuff, but he notes that although there is a proper name for the reptile people, he likes calling them Silurians anyway.

And considering it was saying the first ever Cyberman was a Silurian was more important at the time.

That's a very cool explanation...
Not mine, but a nice one.

It's alright, I guess... but it's not as catchy as Silurian.
True. It's actually historically accurate, the Eocene bit. As much as reptile people ruling the Earth CAN be historically accurate.

I'm still trying to work out if Spara is pro- or anti-environment.
Well, it's notable that all the environmentalists tend to die horribly, and that all the corporations seem to be clueless and working for insane/alien suave men who drink fine Scotch and practice animal sacrifice...

Okay, yes, the Doctor seems to be on the eco side, but still, they don't always win and a hell of a lot of greenies get brutally mutilated without explanation...
Whoa, You're ahead of me.

How about his decision to make amoral, arrogant git Adam "Trapdoor Forehead" Mitchel eco terrorist, despite the fact it's really not a good career move?

Ah, the eternal problem of DW fic... with so many novels, audios and comic strips the odds are your 'original' work has already been done...
Well, not EXACTLY. Just don't expect novelty points for a historical Sea Devil story... since the first one of those was done in DWM in 1981.

Has anyone done a story where there's an 'Angel of Death' style villain running amock in the Battle of Badajoz? (For future reference..)
Not that I know of. And I don't actually know of this Badajoz Battle at all...

In the meantime, I've finally succumbed to public pressure (four separate requests) to write a YOA episode with Ben Chatham in it. It's done and up on the site.

Big Finish are interested! Just, you know, not in me.

Cameron Mason said...

Yawn!

Dull retreads of earlier stories with a definate bias in the script.

Quick message for YOA:

After a mammoth five hour scanning session uesterday I have the lastest batch of comics ready to put onto CD with assorted other goodies.

Cameron

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

Well, maybe not the Mac Hulke stuff, but he notes that although there is a proper name for the reptile people, he likes calling them Silurians anyway.

Hehe, cool.

And considering it was saying the first ever Cyberman was a Silurian was more important at the time.

Oh, yeah, I think I've heard about that story...

The Silurians talking about the 'oncoming asteroid' and the Mondas plotline has lead to cross-over retcon madness, hasn't it?

True. It's actually historically accurate, the Eocene bit. As much as reptile people ruling the Earth CAN be historically accurate.

I thought I read someone saying "Eocene? Bah! Only the plybthorborianghush era could sustain that kind of life!"

But then I didn't really care..

How about his decision to make amoral, arrogant git Adam "Trapdoor Forehead" Mitchel eco terrorist, despite the fact it's really not a good career move?

I thought the thinking behind that was just "Bruno Langley = hot"

Not that I know of. And I don't actually know of this Badajoz Battle at all...

Badajoz was pretty much the single bloodiest battle of the Napoleonic wars... which is really saying something. It's also the closest Wellington came to losing a battle in his career. Of course, the battle itself pales next to the warcrimes that immediately preceded it...

In the meantime, I've finally succumbed to public pressure (four separate requests) to write a YOA episode with Ben Chatham in it. It's done and up on the site.

Squee! You better believe I'll be reading this one...

Big Finish are interested!

*GASP*

Just, you know, not in me.

*Sigh*

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

Man, loved that episode. It's darker plot and returning characters made me think of it as the YoA version of Blake. And Andrew basically becoming the Doctor in his last scene has to be the greatest moment for the character so far...

Youth of Australia said...

Oh, yeah, I think I've heard about that story...
It's very good, even with the scenes of the Silurian priest looking at porn mags as he "meditates on the wonder of creation" or the Mondas President gets a collect call from the Ice Warriors about these huge caterpillars that are killing everything...

The Silurians talking about the 'oncoming asteroid' and the Mondas plotline has lead to cross-over retcon madness, hasn't it?
It's very, VERY simple if you look at the facts and don't imagine bits of Earthshock to feature Silurians running for the caves...


I thought the thinking behind that was just "Bruno Langley = hot"
You might be onto something there. There could be a pattern...

Badajoz was pretty much the single bloodiest battle of the Napoleonic wars...
Maybe Terrance Dicks. He's a Wellington freak to the point I physically dread picking up "World Game" or "Total rewrite of Players cut with reprinted material from a dozen separate books I wrote".

Squee! You better believe I'll be reading this one...
Sorry for the cheat, but Ben is due to appear in The Christmas Special (if I can get Spara to help me get the character right) and the two-part finale to Season Two. Which I have written and will put up soon.

Man, loved that episode.
Oh yeah! Vindecation!

It's darker plot and returning characters made me think of it as the YoA version of Blake.
Wow. That is one cobalt bomb of a compliment...

*weeps with the tears of a thousand Radiohead albums*

Still, you inspired it with your fancy 'I like Jadi's cameo' subtext... but it is rare for them to be in a situation in ANY way more serious than 'annoying neighbour' or 'romantic tryst gone wrong...'

And Andrew basically becoming the Doctor in his last scene has to be the greatest moment for the character so far...
Aw. Beautiful.

Seriously, though, I struggle to keep Andrew as un-Doctorish as possible - he's got Tom Baker's voice half the time anyway, and it's shockingly easy to go from brain-fried hermit to avenging Time Lord... hell, getting rid of all the Time Lord elements created Doctor Spoon...

Though I do get a Genesis of the Daleks vibe in that bit, thinking twice...

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

Maybe Terrance Dicks. He's a Wellington freak to the point I physically dread picking up "World Game" or "Total rewrite of Players cut with reprinted material from a dozen separate books I wrote".

To my shame, I did find World Game oddly enjoyable... but I won't be re-reading it in a hurry. #1 reason, of course, has to be the fact that he still hasn't killed off the Players. For Christ's sake, how many more books did he think he could get out of them? (Past tense, because I doubt he'll be getting any more published)

One of the most incredible things about WG, IMHO, was that it would be near-impossible to make sense of it without reading Players. Oh, AND the worst piece of ret-conning ever: "Everything you saw was a lie"

There was no mention of Badajoz at all in WG, though, because it probably wouldn't sit well with his 1940s brand 'boys own annual' depiction of the British army and everyone in it, or with his hero-worship of Wellington.

Sorry for the cheat, but Ben is due to appear in The Christmas Special (if I can get Spara to help me get the character right)

You seem to have done quite a good job on the Chatham Odyssey site, even if it doesn't have the Emperor stamp of approval...

and the two-part finale to Season Two. Which I have written and will put up soon.

Cool.

Wow. That is one cobalt bomb of a compliment...

*weeps with the tears of a thousand Radiohead albums*


Heh, that reminds me - the Bowie's "Low" album bit? Made me guffaw. Quite loudly. Which I thought was impressive for a stage direction...

Still, you inspired it with your fancy 'I like Jadi's cameo' subtext... but it is rare for them to be in a situation in ANY way more serious than 'annoying neighbour' or 'romantic tryst gone wrong...'

The goofiness and scale of the plot makes it like a sinister and slightly disturbing episode of The Goodies. Well, the second half - I loved the fact that the first half was just typical YoA antics...

Seriously, though, I struggle to keep Andrew as un-Doctorish as possible - he's got Tom Baker's voice half the time anyway, and it's shockingly easy to go from brain-fried hermit to avenging Time Lord... hell, getting rid of all the Time Lord elements created Doctor Spoon...

There's no harm in letting him loose once in a while - that "I think I'm winning this argument" bit was killer.

Youth of Australia said...

Oh, AND the worst piece of ret-conning ever: "Everything you saw was a lie"
Especially as it translates as "My novelizations are just a pack of crap since they deviate from the original so many times..."

Of course, for the truly perfect explanation of Season 6b, you can't go past Charles Daniels' The Possibility War, written so well you start to wonder if he's actually WATCHED the damn thing...

There was no mention of Badajoz at all in WG, though, because it probably wouldn't sit well with his 1940s brand 'boys own annual' depiction of the British army and everyone in it, or with his hero-worship of Wellington.
I kept waiting for Blackadder to arrive and crush the bastard with his own time machine.

But I do that with proper documentaries as well, so...

You seem to have done quite a good job on the Chatham Odyssey site, even if it doesn't have the Emperor stamp of approval...
I don't need approval, as such, just... true Chatham for when he and the gang first meet and try to be nice to each other.

Cool.
One ep's ready to go up, probably before tomorrow. It's called The Storm Before The Calm and has Nigel going to Centrelink. Hilarity ensues.

ANDREW: His ‘identification’ was a driving license with a Centrelink logo pasted on it! It said “Berkwood Institute” “Cheef Invustagata”...

Heh, that reminds me - the Bowie's "Low" album bit? Made me guffaw. Quite loudly. Which I thought was impressive for a stage direction...
I had to give some kind of clue as to who the mysterious figure was, and, looking back, I actually have no idea who he was originally.

Cuddles, probably...

The goofiness and scale of the plot makes it like a sinister and slightly disturbing episode of The Goodies.
Hmm. Yeah, there is that Goodies vibe with the near-dilague free chase scenes, mad scientists and incredible kinkiness involving druids and coffee machines...

Mind you, there's a lot of Blake in there too... the crash of the vehicle, the mission gone wrong, the original characters gone nuts, the dangling plot threads at the cliffhanger.

Well, the second half - I loved the fact that the first half was just typical YoA antics...
Maybe I should have kept the infamous Rowan Atkinson scene that started off the first draft.

There's no harm in letting him loose once in a while
Well, in that sort of situation, I guess not...

- that "I think I'm winning this argument" bit was killer.
Cool. And I actually used that witticism in real life when the inspiration for Andrew tried to punch my lights out in front of the whole school.

Oh yeah - high pain threshold + that witticism = street cred for a whole week.

Bernie Fishnotes said...

On the Silurian nomenclature thing, is it possible that the Silurian name is right, and the period is named after them? After all, The Silurian Period is named after a Welsh Tribe, so maybe they got their name (in the whoniverse, of course) from a race memory of the terrible creatures that menaced their ancestors, in order to instill fear in their rivals?

Or is that just a bollocks idea?

Youth of Australia said...

Well... yeah. That could work. But they'd have named the wrong period of history Silurian.

BTW, who didn't love that DWM comic where the Tenth Doctor sees the Romans shouting "Death to the Silurians!" and goes, "You WHAT?!?"

The fact is, though, if you were to name the reptile people after the period in which they lived, Eocene is pretty much your best bet:

1) People always seem to think that the Silurians lived in a world identical to Jurassic Park, with pet dinosaurs doing everything. This is untrue and the only dinosaurs they hang around with are 'evolved' versions, ie, a pet dog compared to a wild wolf.

2) Because of point 1, people always seem to think the Silurians were hiding from the freighter crash that wiped out the dinosaurs, ignoring the whole 'moon' issue stated in two stories

3) People also ignore the fact the Silurians met apes who raided their crops - and apes didn't exist during dinosaur times, simple as that, even with Fendahls and Scaroth and Light, etc.

So, the logical answer is this pattern
* dinosaurs rule the Earth
* freighter hits
* mini ice age
* dinosaurs start to die off
* Silurians are intelligent enough to wear jumpers, etc, and survive until the mini ice age ends
* Silurians save some of the dinosaurs as pets
* Silurians rule the Earth
* apes evolve
* the moon appears
* Silurians hide
* the moon arrives and stays
* apes evolve into humanity
* humanity rules the Earth
* Sparacus starts writing rubbish stories

Of course, there's a further explanation for how the reptile people suddenly evolved in a relatively short space of time with no fossil evidence, but it starts to get fanwanky.

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

Some guy: Silurians lived in a world just like Jurassic Park.

Ewen: Untrue!

Sorry, couldn't resist. But I should have...

Especially as it translates as "My novelizations are just a pack of crap since they deviate from the original so many times..."

Being a novelization-dunce I missed that connection...

Of course, for the truly perfect explanation of Season 6b, you can't go past Charles Daniels' The Possibility War, written so well you start to wonder if he's actually WATCHED the damn thing...

I'll have to check that out.

The thing that blew me away was that the BBC range already provided an explanation for the Doctor to NOT regenerate: all they had to say was that there was some left-over Myloki DNA in his system after the events of The Indestructible Man which caused the forced regeneration to fail and he became CIA property for 'examination purposes'. But as we all know nobody dares edit Terrance Dick's guff...

I kept waiting for Blackadder to arrive and crush the bastard with his own time machine.

But I do that with proper documentaries as well, so...


Not a fan of the Iron Duke, then?

I respect him a lot, what with being the single-greatest general ever and a true man of honour... but at the same time you have to acknowledge that he was a bit of a bastard.

I don't need approval, as such, just... true Chatham for when he and the gang first meet and try to be nice to each other.

Ooh, I look forward to this...

One ep's ready to go up, probably before tomorrow. It's called The Storm Before The Calm and has Nigel going to Centrelink. Hilarity ensues.

Oh, right... I actually have that open in my other browser right now...

ANDREW: His ‘identification’ was a driving license with a Centrelink logo pasted on it! It said “Berkwood Institute” “Cheef Invustagata”...

Heh - no mention of Operation Delta?

I had to give some kind of clue as to who the mysterious figure was, and, looking back, I actually have no idea who he was originally.

Cuddles, probably...


Is Cuddles a recurring character?

Cool. And I actually used that witticism in real life when the inspiration for Andrew tried to punch my lights out in front of the whole school.

Oh yeah - high pain threshold + that witticism = street cred for a whole week.


I tend to get cred every now and then by going deadpan Chris Boucher on my teachers... the weird thing is it's not usually intentional.

Is it one of the side-effects of watching B7 repeatedly?

Youth of Australia said...

Some guy: Silurians lived in a world just like Jurassic Park.
Ewen: Untrue!
Sorry, couldn't resist. But I should have...

You should have. It hurts...

It hurts so bad...

Being a novelization-dunce I missed that connection...
You'll note the first sequence on Gallifrey is word for word ripped off from the very first Target novelization, The Auton invasion.

I'll have to check that out.


The thing that blew me away was that the BBC range already provided an explanation for the Doctor to NOT regenerate: all they had to say was that there was some left-over Myloki DNA in his system after the events of The Indestructible Man which caused the forced regeneration to fail and he became CIA property for 'examination purposes'. But as we all know nobody dares edit Terrance Dick's guff...
No... anyone has to look at Warmonger to know that.

Mind you, TIM does screw up Season 6 chronology on its own... Yeah. I look at the Space Pirates and think, yeah, Jamie's just gone nuts and Zoe's just lost her fiancee. That so comes across.

Mind you, in those shorts, you can easily be...

...

Sorry? What were we talking about?

Not a fan of the Iron Duke, then?
More like, I'm not a fan of Terrance Dicks having the Doctor going "Ooh, what would Wellington do in my position?" Probably faint because you're all aliens that fly through the sky, Terrance!

I respect him a lot, what with being the single-greatest general ever and a true man of honour... but at the same time you have to acknowledge that he was a bit of a bastard.
Shout! Shout! And shout AGAIN! BAAHAHH!

Ooh, I look forward to this...
I don't... I'm going to have to right it. But I have got a scene where he tries to seduce Katy (that's January, not Ryan), by revealing the dark shadows of his past with his usual subtlety.

Oh, right... I actually have that open in my other browser right now...
Refresh. Should have all the BC bits up.

The whole ep has been rewritten so Eve is a friend and not the evil Moriarty behind the whole thing...

Heh - no mention of Operation Delta?
Oh yes. It is referred to.

Is Cuddles a recurring character?
He's a big, muscle-bound punk that lurches around the place being nice to anyone who isn't Nigel. He's in Insecurities, but he was once one of the main characters.

I tend to get cred every now and then by going deadpan Chris Boucher on my teachers... the weird thing is it's not usually intentional.
You too.

Is it one of the side-effects of watching B7 repeatedly?
Well, don't try the same thing with the Young Ones. That time I stunned a teacher into silence by shouting into the corridor outside the classroom:

"Dale, come on! Stop telling them about your herpes, we've got Legal Studies!"

Classic.

Youth of Australia said...

Exclusive preview of the YOA Christmas special...

KATY: You OK?

BEN CHATHAM: Just wondering what Charles will be doing this Christmas.

KATY: Who's Charles?

BEN CHATHAM: An ex-boyfriend. I broke up with him.

KATY: Why?

BEN CHATHAM: He dared be away from my wonderous nipples for more than a month.

KATY: So... why are you after Eve?

BEN CHATHAM: Well, she will make an excellent piece of arm-candy to show off to my parents. Thereby allowing me to escape incuring the wrath of their latent homophobia.

KATY: You hypocrite! Was Gay Pride something that just happened to other people!

BEN CHATHAM: You're just like all other women. Once you find out I'm gay, you become unsympathetic and quite a little offensive! You believe all I need is a proper woman to show me a good time.

Katy looks around, wondering if he's talking about someone else.

BEN CHATHAM: I can see you find me attractive.

KATY: What?

BEN CHATHAM: It's very obvious.

KATY: Not to me.

BEN CHATHAM: You're clearly attracted to me, even though you're somewhat plump and I love Charles. After all, who wouldn't be attracted to me? I am a young, smooth, cultured fellow with a wide taste in everything...

KATY: [ROLLS EYES] It must be very tiring for you.

BEN CHATHAM: Oh, it is. People don't realize how much of a strain I am under, living such a draining lifestyle. And you, who are still fat, probably only want me for my smooth and luscious body...

KATY: [INSULTED] I'm not fat! [UNSURE] Am I?

BEN CHATHAM: I remember another girl, who also had a fat bottom. She never understood me for what I truly am. No doubt you can see the pain and anguish I felt at being used by her in my soulful brown eyes?

KATY: No.

BEN CHATHAM: Oh. Well, it's probably faded by now.

Cameron Mason said...

If a student says something particularly idiotic/rude/stupid to me I just launch into the 10th Doctor's "What?" "What???" "WHAT???" routine.

Stuns them into submission every time.

Youth of Australia said...

Of course, I've always won arguments with...

"HEIRONYMOUS... youuuuuuuuuu TRAIT-ARRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!"

Well, I don't so much WIN the argument, as make everyone forget what the hell we were arguing about...

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

You should have. It hurts...

It hurts so bad...


I'm sorry, but you did use the word "untrue"...

You'll note the first sequence on Gallifrey is word for word ripped off from the very first Target novelization, The Auton invasion.

...that is spectacularly lazy.

But considering every second book of his is a re-working of WG...

No... anyone has to look at Warmonger to know that.

Reading the reviews have made me want to look at the book... just to see if it could ever truly be as bad as its reputation...

Mind you, TIM does screw up Season 6 chronology on its own... Yeah. I look at the Space Pirates and think, yeah, Jamie's just gone nuts and Zoe's just lost her fiancee. That so comes across.

Oh, yeah, it has a load of problems with continuity. But at least that way it could have done some good for the range.

...actually, I found the cruelty directed at the TARDIS team in that story the most disturbing thing I'd ever read in a DW novel. I mean... Jamie trying to kill the Doctor? It was wrong on so many levels...

More like, I'm not a fan of Terrance Dicks having the Doctor going "Ooh, what would Wellington do in my position?" Probably faint because you're all aliens that fly through the sky, Terrance!

I didn't think it was as bad as the Churchill-worship in Players, though.

I don't... I'm going to have to right it. But I have got a scene where he tries to seduce Katy (that's January, not Ryan), by revealing the dark shadows of his past with his usual subtlety.

So I see. Great stuff.

Oh, right... I actually have that open in my other browser right now...

Brilliance. Funniest and most unorthodox bad guy confrontation ever. I loved it when he recapped the previous adventure for absolutely no reason.

The whole ep has been rewritten so Eve is a friend and not the evil Moriarty behind the whole thing...

Good decision.

"What's Centrelink?"

He's a big, muscle-bound punk that lurches around the place being nice to anyone who isn't Nigel. He's in Insecurities, but he was once one of the main characters.

Yeah, I remembered him. I just couldn't recall him coming back...

You too.

I'm not doing it in my Paul Darrow voice, yet, so I'm guessing it's safe for now...


Well, don't try the same thing with the Young Ones. That time I stunned a teacher into silence by shouting into the corridor outside the classroom:

"Dale, come on! Stop telling them about your herpes, we've got Legal Studies!"

Classic.


Indeed.

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

My favourite random quotation that nobody gets is from Bladerunner:

"You ever buy snakes from the Egyptian, Taffy?"

Not only do people not know where it is from, they are weirded out to the point of being scared.

Youth of Australia said...

I'm sorry, but you did use the word "untrue"...
I was tired! I wasn't thinking! You can't edit it! WAHHH!

...that is spectacularly lazy.
But considering every second book of his is a re-working of WG...
What stings is that the novelization gets the end of the War Games wrong so badly - it doesn't happen a bit like that (and no, I'm not talking about the 'sentence to death' bits which intentionally deviate...)

WHY SEQUEL THE WAR GAMES? THE ONE STORY THAT MADE SURE NOTHING COULD COME OF IT?!? Everyone's either dead or amnesiac (Boucher quote) and that includes the Doctor! Both, in fact...

Reading the reviews have made me want to look at the book... just to see if it could ever truly be as bad as its reputation...
I got a copy of it. Bar my instinctive fan impulse to keep all merchandise, you can have a look.

Oh yeah. It's bad.

Peri trying to rape the skinhead Fifth Doctor by quoting Douglas Adams at him is about as enjoyable as... well... well, it's not enjoyable, that's the point I try to make.

Oh, yeah, it has a load of problems with continuity. But at least that way it could have done some good for the range.
IF they had, Interference-style, done something with the idea. But it's just forgotten... like a Torchwood character moment.

...actually, I found the cruelty directed at the TARDIS team in that story the most disturbing thing I'd ever read in a DW novel. I mean... Jamie trying to kill the Doctor? It was wrong on so many levels...
It also stains that lovely bit in the War Games where Jamie saves the Doctor's life even though everything points to the Doctor selling them out to escape being caught by the Time Lords.

Now, Final Sanction, THAT is a Season 6 story I can believe in...

I didn't think it was as bad as the Churchill-worship in Players, though.
Oh yes. You know, that book is five pages long if you remove all the "the Doctor and Winston Churchill are very similar" references.

So I see. Great stuff.
I missed out the stage direction that Katy is trying to comfort Ben after he suddenly starts crying for no apparent reason...

Brilliance. Funniest and most unorthodox bad guy confrontation ever.
I've written one even more unorthodox - in that, Nigel drags up as a panto dame, runs into an office with a shotgun and starts pretending to be a Monty Python pepperpot... which causes the Bad Guy to go utterly insane and kill himself.

But that script will probably never see the light of day.

I loved it when he recapped the previous adventure for absolutely no reason.
Yeah. Ben often talks in an unnatural, over-expository way, you notice that...?

Good decision.
She was really different at the start. This horrible Veronica character everyone had to worship, ala Lizzie in Blackadder II. Mainly because YOA were so footloose and fancy free they had no reason to leave the house...

"What's Centrelink?"
She's learning, man, she's trying her best...

Yeah, I remembered him. I just couldn't recall him coming back...
No. He really doesn't do much.

I'm not doing it in my Paul Darrow voice, yet, so I'm guessing it's safe for now...
I used to use the PD voice for saying "Really?" "No you didn't" and "I lied". You'd be amazed how many times it came in handy.

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

I was tired! I wasn't thinking! You can't edit it! WAHHH!

Heh. The lack of an edit function here is blatantly just to catch us out...

WHY SEQUEL THE WAR GAMES? THE ONE STORY THAT MADE SURE NOTHING COULD COME OF IT?!? Everyone's either dead or amnesiac (Boucher quote) and that includes the Doctor! Both, in fact...

Apart from the need to remedy a continuity head-ache that Terrance Dicks actually CAUSED in the first place (Bob Holmes gets the blame, but Five Doctors stuffed it all up first...) I can't think of any reason...

Though I do kinda like 6-b, just for the fact that it gives Troughton more adventures..

I got a copy of it. Bar my instinctive fan impulse to keep all merchandise, you can have a look.

Hopefully I won't regret this..

Oh yeah. It's bad.

Peri trying to rape the skinhead Fifth Doctor by quoting Douglas Adams at him is about as enjoyable as... well... well, it's not enjoyable, that's the point I try to make.


As enjoyable as a 'spot of friendly rape'?

It also stains that lovely bit in the War Games where Jamie saves the Doctor's life even though everything points to the Doctor selling them out to escape being caught by the Time Lords.

I need to watch WG again. It's basically 200 classic moments wrapped up in a load of neat fight scenes...

Now, Final Sanction, THAT is a Season 6 story I can believe in...

Ugh... extremely hesitant on that one. Because

a) Steve Lyons has to be the single most unpredictable author I've ever read

and

b) Murder Games was the single-worst DW novel that I have ever read, and the Selachians, apart from one good idea, are so generic they hurt my brain.

Oh yes. You know, that book is five pages long if you remove all the "the Doctor and Winston Churchill are very similar" references.

Sounds a bit long, all things considered..

I missed out the stage direction that Katy is trying to comfort Ben after he suddenly starts crying for no apparent reason...

I'll mentally insert it somewhere.

I've written one even more unorthodox - in that, Nigel drags up as a panto dame, runs into an office with a shotgun and starts pretending to be a Monty Python pepperpot... which causes the Bad Guy to go utterly insane and kill himself.

But that script will probably never see the light of day.


How come?

She was really different at the start. This horrible Veronica character everyone had to worship, ala Lizzie in Blackadder II. Mainly because YOA were so footloose and fancy free they had no reason to leave the house...

So.. what happened? You made YOA less footloose?

Youth of Australia said...

Heh. The lack of an edit function here is blatantly just to catch us out...
It works ever fcuking time!

Apart from the need to remedy a continuity head-ache that Terrance Dicks actually CAUSED in the first place (Bob Holmes gets the blame, but Five Doctors stuffed it all up first...) I can't think of any reason...
Now, I don't want to bitch, but a certain Mr. Saward had a hand in that scene, as Tezza originally wrote scenes where the various Doctors went mad and attacked their companions, and the mad Doctors turned out to be ghosts.

Though I do kinda like 6-b, just for the fact that it gives Troughton more adventures..
Yeah. Seriously, it has to be the most frustrating end to ANY Doctor, or even show. God turns up and says, "Stuff you then!"

Which doesn't mean it's not a brilliant ending, just a really sad one...

I'll email you the Possibility War by CD.

Hopefully I won't regret this..
I try to think of something to recommend it.

...

...

...

Oh yeah. There's a Sontaran in it. Terrance always does great Sontarans, and this one is like Sgt Slaughter from GI Joe. Or a violent Frank Gallagher from Shameless. Cool.

The worst bit is this: a huge amount of Morbius backstory doesn't come from the pen of Holmes, but Dicks who novelized the story. And this book, also by Dicks, contradicts the novelization. So many times.

And not in a good way...


As enjoyable as a 'spot of friendly rape'?
In fairness, only the bad guys say that. But only when they're talking about Peri. Still, after watching Season 22, maybe this is a metatextual way of Dicks screaming "You sick fuckers!" at the production team...

I need to watch WG again. It's basically 200 classic moments wrapped up in a load of neat fight scenes...
And people say it's boring. Hello? I find it facinating, and I know in detail what happens already!

The bit I always remember is when the Doctor and Jamie pretend to brainwash Zoe and thinking, "These guys could have kept going forever, and they only have one more episode." Tragic.


Ugh... extremely hesitant on that one. Because
a) Steve Lyons has to be the single most unpredictable author I've ever read

That's very true...

and

b) Murder Games was the single-worst DW novel that I have ever read, and the Selachians, apart from one good idea, are so generic they hurt my brain.
OK. Looking back at The Murder Game, it did seem a cross between Revenge of the Cybermen and Terror of Vervoids. The only good bits was when Ben got engaged to the Doctor while the Doctor was dragged up to look like Polly.

...

Out of context, that sounds SO wrong.

But imagine if Rob Holmes and Philip Hinchcliffe were making a Season 6 story, it'd end up quite a bit like The Final Sanction.

Sounds a bit long, all things considered..
Take out the Season 6b, the rewrite of Timewyrm Exodus down to the champagne scenes (FUCK IT, I HATE THOSE BITS!) and the scene of the Sixth Doctor and Peri escaping a dungeon covered in shit...

and you get a paragraph about the Player's philosophy which is a rip off of The Five Doctors.

Not a bad cover, though.

I'll mentally insert it somewhere.
Seriously, they are trying to be nice to guy...

How come?
It is totally fucking shit, that's why. It's a rip off/parody of Dragonfire and is mainly consisting of jokes stolen from Charles Daniels.

Still, if you WANT to read "Why Can't It Just Be Over?", sure...

So.. what happened? You made YOA less footloose?
Yeah. I gave them enemies in the form of Parker, Lucy, and now Ben Chatham, gave Andrew a girlfriend, created Doctor Spoon and Chamber, plus given Nigel a reason to get out of the house. Nigel is like a plot machine all on his own - he can drag everyone into his madness if he's inclined...

Anyway, The Storm Before The Calm is finished, and I have to do the rewite of Oblivion's Ouroboros...

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

Now, I don't want to bitch, but a certain Mr. Saward had a hand in that scene, as Tezza originally wrote scenes where the various Doctors went mad and attacked their companions, and the mad Doctors turned out to be ghosts.

Hmm... I can't work out if that would have been good or bad... but going by Moffatt's 'direction' I'd hedge my bets with bad.

Yeah. Seriously, it has to be the most frustrating end to ANY Doctor, or even show. God turns up and says, "Stuff you then!"

It would have been understandable with other Doctors, but as it is it feels like an injustice, because Troughton's such a nice guy...

I'll email you the Possibility War by CD.

Recieved. Added to my pile of reading material...

Oh yeah. There's a Sontaran in it. Terrance always does great Sontarans, and this one is like Sgt Slaughter from GI Joe. Or a violent Frank Gallagher from Shameless. Cool.

Well, they pissed me off in Shakedown. And Lords of the Storm for that matter. Who made the executive decision that "Every time Sontarans fight Rutans in our books, Sontarans = brutally sodomized"? I mean, they're meant to have been in a stalemate for millenia. It was worse than the bloody Cybermen/Dalek showdown in Doomsday!

In fairness, only the bad guys say that. But only when they're talking about Peri. Still, after watching Season 22, maybe this is a metatextual way of Dicks screaming "You sick fuckers!" at the production team...

Hmm...you may be giving him a bit too much credit...

And people say it's boring. Hello? I find it facinating, and I know in detail what happens already!

Just more evidence that Who fandom is plagued by phillistines...

The bit I always remember is when the Doctor and Jamie pretend to brainwash Zoe and thinking, "These guys could have kept going forever, and they only have one more episode." Tragic.

Saddest season finale. Sorry, Russ, but the crying and moaning in Doomsday and Parting of the Ways is fucking Bold and the Beautiful in comparison.

That's very true...

Even in the space of a novel - Time of Your Life was one of the best I'd read... but then I hit the last 10 pages. Jesus Christ. There are drabbles on Whofic with better endings.

OK. Looking back at The Murder Game, it did seem a cross between Revenge of the Cybermen and Terror of Vervoids. The only good bits was when Ben got engaged to the Doctor while the Doctor was dragged up to look like Polly.

...

Out of context, that sounds SO wrong.


Yeah, I remember the bit, though. I remember reading that and thinking "Hey, this could be alright". I had no idea I'd just read the only good bit in the book.

But imagine if Rob Holmes and Philip Hinchcliffe were making a Season 6 story, it'd end up quite a bit like The Final Sanction.

Hmm. Well... if YOU recommend it...

Take out the Season 6b, the rewrite of Timewyrm Exodus down to the champagne scenes (FUCK IT, I HATE THOSE BITS!) and the scene of the Sixth Doctor and Peri escaping a dungeon covered in shit...

You're bringing all the memories back, Ewen!

BTW, hasn't Tezza noticed that there's a complete lack of scenes where the Doctor and his companion go out and buy ridiculously expensive stuff for no reason, in ALL of the TV eras?

It is totally fucking shit, that's why. It's a rip off/parody of Dragonfire and is mainly consisting of jokes stolen from Charles Daniels.

Yeah, it was a joke question. The reason was already apparent.

Nigel is like a plot machine all on his own - he can drag everyone into his madness if he's inclined...

I have noticed that he does tend to cause the most trouble... and also play the smallest role in its resolution...

Youth of Australia said...

Hmm... I can't work out if that would have been good or bad... but going by Moffatt's 'direction' I'd hedge my bets with bad.
Probably. I do think our last shot of Jamie and Zoe screaming into nothingness is damn creepy...

It would have been understandable with other Doctors, but as it is it feels like an injustice, because Troughton's such a nice guy...
What's more, he plays it so well, amking it clear his every instinct is to just disappear like every other Second Doctor story, but he can't bring himself to leave everyone in the lurch.

Which does tie to my Master/War Chief theory, but is damn cool nonetheless.

Recieved. Added to my pile of reading material...
If I had three wishes, one of those would be for that story to have been made.

Well, they pissed me off in Shakedown. And Lords of the Storm for that matter. Who made the executive decision that "Every time Sontarans fight Rutans in our books, Sontarans = brutally sodomized"? I mean, they're meant to have been in a stalemate for millenia. It was worse than the bloody Cybermen/Dalek showdown in Doomsday!
I always thought that 'revelation' in Shakedown that Sontarans can come back from the dead is what always allowed MAD between the two species.

Hmm...you may be giving him a bit too much credit...
Well, he DOES contradict Season 22 more than any other period in the show's history... bit like me... except without the style and flair and panache.

Just more evidence that Who fandom is plagued by phillistines...
I swear I will hunt down and kill the next person who does the "ZZ for production code and ZZZZZ to watch"...

Saddest season finale. Sorry, Russ, but the crying and moaning in Doomsday and Parting of the Ways is fucking Bold and the Beautiful in comparison.
Yes. It's odd that, even though I break down in sobs every time I see that bit in Doomsday, my rational brain is going, "COUNT YER FUCKING BLESSINGS, ROSE! You've got your mum, your dad, your boyfriend, a great job, a sibling on the way... CHEER UP!"

Even in the space of a novel - Time of Your Life was one of the best I'd read... but then I hit the last 10 pages. Jesus Christ. There are drabbles on Whofic with better endings.
Yeah. I think Lyons caught the 'shitty abrupt S22 endings' too good. My first worry was, "DAMN IT! I FINALLY GET A COPY AND ALL THE PAGES ARE MISSING!" but no...

Yeah, I remember the bit, though. I remember reading that and thinking "Hey, this could be alright". I had no idea I'd just read the only good bit in the book.
Yeah. And getting Richard Mace to turn up for no real reason... weird. Even the vampire hologram got dull...

Hmm. Well... if YOU recommend it...
I do. But I also recommend Season 24, The Lazarus Experiment, and the Chase...

You're bringing all the memories back, Ewen!
And what wonderful memories they are...

BTW, hasn't Tezza noticed that there's a complete lack of scenes where the Doctor and his companion go out and buy ridiculously expensive stuff for no reason, in ALL of the TV eras?
My God... Tezza is writing for Ben Chatham! The laziness, the high lifestyles, hobnobbing with the greatest butchers in history, getting drunk while cities burn, the shameless plagiarising...

ARGHHH! RUN AND HIDE! RUN AND HIDE!

Yeah, it was a joke question. The reason was already apparent.
Oh. Well, delete the next mail you get from me then.

I have noticed that he does tend to cause the most trouble... and also play the smallest role in its resolution...
Well, see the latest ep for the few occasions when he tries to play a MAJOR role in resolving matters...

Youth of Australia said...
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