Saturday, 3 October 2009

"Orchids in June" Act 1 Scene 8

OK, here is the next part of this discerning play folks:

ACT 1 Scene 8

Everyone has moved back into the house where Alistair pours his mother a gin and tonic

Alistair: Drink this mummy, it will calm your nerves.

Rosemary: Thankyou darling, you are so thoughtful.

Jethro: What about moi computer?

Shaun: *to Inspector Rigby* When are you going to arrest this farmer? He clearly has a grudge against me and my family and is no doubt behind the poisoning. He must have been hoping I'd be first to grab a cake or else my wife.

Jethro: Ere daarn't you be accusin' me o' no paaaarsoning. Thaaaaat's slaaaarnder . Oooaaahhh slaaaander it be.

Inspector Rigby: Actually I have already used my powers of deduction to detect who the murderer is.

There is a sharp intake of breath from the cast. Cuthbert drops his glass.

Shaun: Well? Who is it then.

Inspector Rigby: The murderer is clearly..... *swings round and looks at Alistair* YOU! You baked the cakes so only you had opportunity to poison them.

Alistair: This is utterly preposterous. I put nothing untoward into my fondant fancies.

Rosemary: This is all too much *faints*

Estelle: Help her someone. This is most beastly.

Inspector Rigby: Wold arrest that boy! We will question him down at the station.

PC Wold grabs Alistair by his shirt collar and drags him offstage. Inspector Rigby exits with them.

Rosemary:*reviving* My poor baby *sob* what will happen to him? What will they say at the church institute?

Shaun: Oh well. Lets go to bed and deal with it tomorrow.

Rosemary: How can you say that when they're throwing your son in the cells?

Shaun: Look love, theres nothing we can do. Pull yourself together and have another G & T.

The doorbell rings. Rosemary opens it and in walks Bob Ware the plumber

Bob: Hullo. I've come to look at your blocked toilet.

Rosemary: Oh? But we didn't call you.

Shaun: I did love, before I came down earlier. I had a massive dump in the bog, a real ringstinger. When I flushed it it blocked. It overspilled.

Bob I'll 'ave a butchers at it.

Estelle moves up to him and strokes his face

Estelle: How about having a look at my plumbing first.

Bob: *grins* Yer on! Any holes a goal.They run upstairs.

Jethro: Roight I'm orfff. Oil be back tomaaarow with more a moi cow muck for eee alll unless oi gets moi computer looked at *exits stage left*

Rosemary: *dabs eyes* This is all too much. I feel like a cracked eggshell. ....

..... to be continued.

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