Monday, 31 December 2007

The Ben Chatham New Years Eve Special: "Wolf"

The cast:
Ben Chatham - Adam Rickitt
Katie Ryan - Kate Ryan
Kyle - Rory Jennings
Anselm Ashmore - Harry Lloyd
Professor Halbutt - Griff Rhys-Jones

It is New Years Eve and Ben is alone in his apartment putting the final touches to his New Years Eve Party spread. He arranges the cucumber sandwiches and nibbles and places the large bowl of punch, made with a £100 bottle of 1963 claret, in the centre. Then he sits down to enjoy an absinthe while listening to Bowie's "Low" album, having sent Katie , Anselm& Kyle out to the shops to buy more wine.
Suddenly the doorbell rings and Ben finds its one of his old Archaeology professors from the University , Professor Halbutt.
"Ben I'm in terrible trouble" he explains.
" I was asked to examine some fossilised bones from a dig at Figsbury Rings. As I was dating them this afternoon they began to glow and transform into a strange wolf-like creature. Its out there somewhere on the rampage. I know you have connections with certain organisations...."
Ben is concerned:
"You have done the right thing. Have a fox's glacier mint , while I contact Torchwood."

Meanwhile Katie, Anselm and Kyle are in Jepsons, an exclusive Cambridge wine shop.
"I don't see why Ben insisted we get such pricey booze" Kyle observes.
"Because he has standards, unlike you chavboy." Katie retorts.
Suddenly they hear screaming in the street. Rushing out, Kyle sees a huge werewolf tearing its claws into shoppers, tossing small children into the road as it bites at heads and necks. Thinking quickly, Kyle lobs a bottle of wine at the creature which hits it on the head. It runs off, making grunting noises.

Back at Ben's flat, Katie, Anselm & Kyle explain what has happened and Kyle suggests that they go out and find the creature. Ben grins:
"Theres no need. I have just recieved a text from Torchwood, they picked the thing up 10 mins ago. Sometimes the easiest thing to do IS to contact the proper agencies."
Katie suggests they all toast Ben, while the Professor helps himself to a cucumber sandwich.



Scyther Slitheen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Scyther Slitheen said...

Rubissh as allways, I mean you have a good monster but you dont explain about it at all! I mean whats the point in haveing a monster just to have it captured and with no explination about its origins!

And why are Torchwood in Cambridge!? Torchwood dosent exsist anymore, the queen shut it down afther Doomsday apart from the 5 in Cardiff (6 if you count Myfanwy), TW 4 which is missing and a very strang gu in Glasgow. For someone who keeps bossting about how much they know about the DW world, you seem to make alot of mistakes.

Youth of Australia said...

OK, people. Australia is a day ahead of the rest of you, so I'm recovering from NYE as it is now NYD. You sad 2007 losers, lost in the past...

My ripping to shreds will occur in due course but Spara, please note:

1) The cast list does rather ruin any surprises to Winter of the Lost since everyone surprises

2) FOR GOD'S SAKE! Anselm's family name has changed three times now! Ashworth, Ashmore, Ashford... MAKE YOUR MIND UP!

3) I'm surprised at the lack of regulars in this. Where's K9, Operation Delta, Spartha Jones? Last year's Dark Yuletide was, at least, epic

4) Bowie's Low album? Again? Ben's ALWAYS listening to that! You did his CD collection a while back, but it seems that is all he listens to

5) Rip off of Tooth and Claw

Andrew said...

what a fucking travesty. Ben doesnt do anything and just sits on his arse getting bladdered until Torchwood sort it all out. Katie is horrid, kids get graphically slaugyhtered, and that fuckwit Anselm still lives. (Can't you be bothered to finish the Christmas story? No, me neither.)
Piss-weak, even by your pathetically inept standards.

evans-t said...

That was shit, even by your low standards.

It's so low that I've actually spend 3 hours of my life rewriting the episode. Your stories have a great potential, but unfortunately you're just a crap writer who doesn't understand how to make a good story.

A Ben Chatham/Werewolf fic has some potential, unfortunately you've just got the idea and have literally done nothing with it.

Nothing happens in the entire story. We hear of a werewolf, Kyle and Katie see a werewolf, Ben phones Torchwood and that's it.

That's all this story is.

If you want to read my rewriting of the story, here it is:

It might not be the best ever story, but all I'm trying to do with my blog is improve on your stories and make a good story out of them.

All I needed to do was write "The End" and I've already improved on this story.

Cameron Mason said...

That was just awful.

A piece of advice: It is those who do the hard work in emergencies that get the plaudists and thanks, not those who ring to inform the authorities about the emergency.


Youth of Australia said...

You know, if you want to make Ben Chatham popular, it's very, very simple.

Give him all Kyle's dialogue and plot functions. Suddenly he's a sensible, proactive humanitarian and NOT a drunken posh shit who gets RSI from texting.

I tried to improve this travesty but, well, even I need some basic spark to work with. I did my best.

Johnstone said...

You did better than Spara did YOA

Youth of Australia said...

Thanks, friends.

evans-t said...

Read your story YOA, brilliant yet again.

Meanwhile I've just finished my rewriting of Wolf, viewable on my blog here:

Hope you like

Youth of Australia said...

Oh, I do, I do.

Blogger, however, won't let me add a link site to my blog, so I haven't been able to direct anyone to either you or Johnstone's movie site.

Oh well...