Sunday, 6 September 2009

"ORCHIDS IN JUNE" Act 1 Scene 4

ACT 1: Scene 4

Rosemary and Alistair rush outside. They see that Steve has tripped up and fallen through the side of the greenhouse. Amy is pulling him up

Amy: Relax and let me pull you

Steve: Pull harder babe

Rosemary: You thug! You've knocked over two orchid pots and squashed my husband's tomatoes

Alistair: This is outrageous. We are decent people. I'm phoning the police *fiddles with his mobile*

A middle-aged man opens the gate and walks up the path

Jethro: *to Rosemary*Do you be Mrs Lane?

Rosemary: *lighting a cigarette* I am. What do you want?

Jethro: Oi waaant to speak to your 'usband.

Rosemary: What on earth about at this hour? He's in bed.

Jethro: Oi waaant to speak to im about moi computer. Eeee sold me some saaaaftware to record moi faaaarm sales ahn. An its roight buggered it up. Oi was entering moi sheep an it crashed on I.

Rosemary: You mean to say you've come round here about a work matter? See him at his office. How did you get this address?

Jethro: Oi sees all an oi says nowt

A police car arrives. Offstage, flashing lights are shone onto the stage. A policewoman enters

PC Wold : Hello. I understand that there has been an incident here.

Rosemary: Yes. This yob has thrown a brick through our window and then proceeded to break the greenhouse while trying to molest my daughter.

Steve: Ere I haven't toutched her tonight ... yet. However I could really do a three in a bed sesh with 'er and you in that uniform.

PC Wold: Watch it or I'll nick you right now. *to Amy* Is your mother correct?

Amy: Dunno. Whatever.

Jethro: What about moi computer.

Alistair exits stage left and returns with a bottle of wine and five glasses.

Alistair: Let us partake in refreshment while we iron out these problems........

....... to be continued

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