"ORCHIDS IN JUNE" A Play for the Theatre

"ORCHIDS IN JUNE" : A play for the theatre.

OK, taking a short break from Doctor Who/Ben Chatham fiction, I will post my play which is intended as a post-modern satire which blends elements of farce with straightforward drama.

Main characters:

Rosemary Lane: A mid- 30s suburban housewife
Estelle Hampson-Clark: Her friend , Oxbridge educated and the daughter of Viscount Reevesdale
Shaun Lane : Rosemary's husband, works for a computer software firm
Amy Lane: The Lanes' 17 year old daughter
Alistair Lane: Their 19 year old son
Bob Ware: the plumber & odd job man
Steve Crabbs: A drug-dealing hoodie with a grudge against the Lanes

Act 1 : Scene 1

In the Lanes' kitchen, Rosemary is chatting to Estelle and arranging orchids and roses in a vase.

Rosemary: Well what do you think? I do hope the colours of the roses don't clash with anything in this kitchen.

Estelle: Darling the whole arrangement is misconcieved. One simply should never mix orchids with other flowers and certainly not roses. It simply oozes vulgarity and the ignorant pretentions of new money. Orchids need subtelty and space. And that vase must go.

Rosemary: Oh but why? It was very espensive.

Estelle: It utterly reeks of John Lewis or some similar establishment. It lacks exclusivity and uniqueness. One feels it insults the orchids.

Rosemary: *tears welling up, dabs eyes with hanky* I never seem to get things right. No wonder Shaun is playing around with his secretary.

Estelle: Oh darling, we don't know this for certain yet. The private detective hasn't reported any findings yet has he?

Rosemary: Not yet.But I still know. I can tell when my husband is playing away. He eats more and doesn't fidget in bed.

The door bangs open and in walks Bob Ware the plumber

Bob: Hullo, I've come to look at your taps

Estelle: *gives his backside a squeeze* One simply adores a man with his shirtsleeves rolled up. Let me show you the upstairs bathroom....

They exit leaving Rosemary looking perplexed. In walks Amy:

Amy: I need money, like now

Rosemary: What for?

Amy: I need it now bitch. Just ****ing give us it

Rosemary: Ok darling *hands Amy £60 and Amy flounces out*.

Rosemary starts rearranging the orchids in a different vase.......

....... to be continued