This story is set after 'Nemesis' and explains why Ben returns for a while to travelling with the 10th Doctor:
"Mirror Mirror on the Wall....."
Ben wakes up one morning after a particularly unsettled night of broken sleep. He kept dreaming of Nimons and other strange creatures that the Doctor had told him about. Putting it down to an unpleasant evening in 'Zanzer' , the new Cambridge gay club where a teenager in eyeliner had called him a, "sad tosser", Ben drags himself to the bathroom and stares into the mirror.
"Mmmm at least I still look good", he muses to himself, stroking his long, blonde locks and smooth cheeks.
Suddenly he feels himself being pulled into the mirror. Ben struggles in horror, however a strange, malevolent, unseen force pulls him through the looking glass into a strange, black place with silver framed mirrors and still, silent human-size toy soldiers. Ben is alarmed as it isn't normal to be pulled into mirrors. He hears the sound of laughter all around and feels himself floating on a wind of dark heat, yet still standing in this strange, beguiling room.
Suddenly Kyle and Katie Ryan appear. They are writhing in agony and begging Ben to help them. However when he approaches, they vanish.
Eventually Ben sees the figure of an elderly humanoid, dressed in gold approaching:
"I am the cosmic guardian of all who pass through the mirror into the land of eternal dreams" it says. Ben realises that he has been attacked by some occult force playing tricks with his mind:
"You can't fool me magician! I reject your illusion!" He shouts.
Ben finds himself back in the bathroom of his apartment. However he is shaking with fear:
"This is very wrong. Some occult force is trying to kill me." he thinks to himself.
Ben realises that the time is right to contact the Doctor and return to the TARDIS. He wakes up Kyle, who was kipping on Ben's sofa, and texts Katie.
"Something dark and sinister is afoot" he tells them.....
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7 comments:
Intresting start, not very detailed though and some of the lines are silly.
Also, why start a stoy afther Nemisis befor you have finished it?
Also, why start a stoy afther Nemisis befor you have finished it?
Cause he can't be bothered to finish it, that's why. And since it's just a summary of a story, and not the story itself, that's really rather weak. Our bigoted blogger has no staying power.
I admit, Spara to being confused.
You say:
This story is set after 'Nemesis' and explains why Ben returns for a while to travelling with the 10th Doctor:
I can only assume you mean this explains why he teams up with the Doctor and Donna in your season 4 pitch.
But these stories are set AFTER your season 4 pitch.
So either this is one massive time loop of events causing themselves, OR you intend the Doctor to return to the series.
If this is the case
a) Why does the Doctor keep coming back for Ben? A companion who repeatedly dumps him for Bowie Concerts? The Doctor has a clear dislike for those with such closed minds (which was the main reason he disliked Jackie), and Ben doesn't want to travel in time and space, anyway.
Some answer beyond "ooh, the Doctor respects Ben and wants to be with him" would be nice, since it recalls the "clingy" behavior of Rose, which made Ben flee the TARDIS anyway.
b) Ben wants to rejoin the TARDIS to escape a cult that wants to kill him. What a weak, pathetic tool. Sarah Jane wouldn't run away. Captain Jack wouldn't run away. Hell, DODO wouldn't run away.
How utterly pathetic.
I'll tear apart this 'fragment' (it is not long enough to be called a synopsis, let alone a story) when I can be bothered to.
Utter rubbish.
Cameron
Yes, again, folks, it's time for the only thing people remember me for... SparaHatred!
"Mirror Mirror on the Wall....."
Ah, quoting Snow White. How cultured. How sophisticated. And it compliments Ben's pathological self involvement and vanity. After all, we all know he's more likely to keep studying his reflection than, say, help others.
Ben wakes up one morning after a particularly unsettled night of broken sleep.
Considering the amount of absinthe he downs and rough, self-hating sex he carries out, I'm surprised Ben hasn't gone nuts from sleep deprivation...
He kept dreaming of Nimons and other strange creatures that the Doctor had told him about.
Nimons?!
NIMONS?!?
So, Daleks, Cybermen, Silurians, Elians... no, forget them. The Nimons are the ones Ben dreams about, with their smoothe bodies, huge blond horns and topless chests...
Oh. Right. I get why Ben's dreaming of them. The filthy little pervert.
I love the idea of the Doctor bragging about his most embarassing and pathetic of foes - clearly trying to put Ben off travelling with him.
Putting it down to an unpleasant evening in 'Zanzer' , the new Cambridge gay club
How many NEW gay clubs does Cambridge have? That's two that have opened up since your Season 4 pitch. Does Ben keep getting chucked out for his antisocial behavior? To quote Ben, "Gay teenagers shouldn't be laughing!"
where a teenager in eyeliner had called him a, "sad tosser"
Such judgement in one so young.
I really boggle at moments like this. You see, I HATE Ben Chatham. LOTS of people, real people, HATE Ben Chatham. And lots of FICTIONAL people HATE Ben Chatham.
He is despised by all, yet you maintain he's popular.
, Ben drags himself to the bathroom and stares into the mirror.
Again? This is just like Nemesis!
If it is SO much hassle trying to drag himself to the bathroom mirror, why not put a mirror in his bedroom?
"Mmmm at least I still look good",
You vain bastard! How does that help? "Oh, I'm unpopular, lonely, alcoholic and unloved, but my baggy-eyed, tousled reflection still impresses ME, so all is right with the world."
You loser, Chatham!
he muses to himself, stroking his long, blonde locks and smooth cheeks.
This guy gets turned on by his own reflection?!
Yeah, sad tosser located.
Suddenly he feels himself being pulled into the mirror.
Guess his reflection hates him as well.
Ben struggles in horror, however a strange, malevolent, unseen force
Unseen and strange, huh? How do we know it's malevolent? I mean, "Alice in Wonderland" isn't exactly a horror novel, is it? Maybe it's just some celestial being wanting Ben's help, which you seem to find so realistic.
pulls him through the looking glass into a strange, black place with silver framed mirrors and still, silent human-size toy soldiers.
Wow. Just like the Celestial Toyroom. Your originality shatters my mind like glass, Spara.
Ben is alarmed as it isn't normal to be pulled into mirrors.
So, apart from it being unusual, he is completely relaxed about being sucked into a solid object.
He hears the sound of laughter all around and feels himself floating on a wind of dark heat,
WHAT?
yet still standing in this strange, beguiling room.
Just like Planet of Evil, then.
Suddenly Kyle and Katie Ryan appear. They are writhing in agony and begging Ben to help them.
Obviously they are illusions, as Kyle and Katie (you need help thinking up names) know how utterly useless Ben is. They have better chance to save themselves.
But why only Kyle and Katie? Why not Abby? Chiana? Tara? Karl? Those people on Sacrosan? Or Donna? Rose? Martha?
Talk about limited imagination.
However when he approaches, they vanish.
Woop-de-doo.
Why?
If it is an illusion to upset Ben, why make them vanish? Why not "kill" them before his eyes? Or leave them being tormented with Ben unable to do anything?
Eventually Ben sees the figure of an elderly humanoid, dressed in gold approaching:
Another one? That's sixteen on this blog alone!
"I am the cosmic guardian of all who pass through the mirror into the land of eternal dreams" it says.
Big... freaking... deal.
Ben hasn't said a single word, and aliens are already explaining their entire life story to him.
Where's the DIALOGUE?!?
Ben realises that he has been attacked by some occult force playing tricks with his mind:
Occult? How does the occult have to do anything? This looks more like the work of the Guardian of Dreams (aka Celestial Toymaker).
Why would occultists care about Ben anyway? If someone wanted him dead, they could just hang around Cambridge and shoot him through the skull with a normal, non-occultist gun.
As your own stories establish, no one cares about Ben.
"You can't fool me magician! I reject your illusion!" He shouts.
My God, this is just Acorn Man ALL OVER AGAIN! Your "exclusive" stories are just copying your own work ALSO on this blog!
Ben finds himself back in the bathroom of his apartment. However he is shaking with fear:
Yes. Because he faced a being that did him no harm whatsoever, and didn't even so much as threaten him, who Ben can defeat by shouting at him.
How exactly is this supposed to be frightening?
Apart from the fact you expect people to be IMPRESSED?
"This is very wrong. Some occult force is trying to kill me." he thinks to himself.
Again... WHY? The realm of dreams is such a massive concept shared by all humanity, and other species, why should it be occultists. We are talking primal universal forces, here, people.
Or... maybe... just maybe, Ben is hallucinating again, as he often does in your stories (Earthspan, Sun Goblet, Zranti, Vampire Skull...)
The guy's a flakey.
Ben realises that the time is right to contact the Doctor and return to the TARDIS.
So, the time was right to LEAVE it when there was a Bowie concert?
Why would going back to the TARDIS help? If they can attack him through dreams, they can attack him anywhere he goes! And why doesn't Ben think of his resources:
Operation Delta
Cambridge Uni
Torchwood
Sarah Jane
K9
Martha J
No, run back to the Doctor, you pathetic little weed.
He wakes up Kyle, who was kipping on Ben's sofa, and texts Katie.
Why?
How could Katie possibly help?
He started Nemesis telling her to get the hell out of his apartment and shouting abuse at her?
Why does she keep coming back for more? Worse, why does Ben EXPECT her to do?
"Something dark and sinister is afoot" he tells them.....
And Kyle tells Ben to shut the hell up.
Why can't Ben RING HER UP instead of texting her? Why can't he text her himself?
In one story, we hate Ben Chatham afresh! Good work, Spara.
Can you finish Nemesis first before writing anything else? Complete stories are better than incomplete ones*, and you've now got two on the go...
(* except in the case of Troughton era Who...)
But Troughton era was completed before they started something new. It was only later episodes were retrospectively removed...
Good for people to know.
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