Saturday, 15 November 2008

"FACE OF DEATH": Part 9 : The conclusion!

Anyway folks: here it is! The final part of this action-packed film pitch:


Hogeson closes in on Ben, raising the knife.
“Now look Hogeson, you’re sick. You’ve been driven insane by looking into a dark star. Please put down the knife and let us help you. There is an offshore asylum where you can be confined.”
Ben’s attempts at reasoning fail and Hogeson lunges at Ben with the knife, missing by a few inches. He raises the knife again and is about to lunge again at Ben’s eye when Isobel and Craig arrive. Craig is terrified, however Isobel sneaks up behind Hogeson and lifts the lump of wood that he dropped. She whacks Hogeson round the head with the wood and he staggers in a dazed stupor. As he does so, Kyle is reviving and he leaps up and delivers Hogeson a right hook which splatters his nose and sends him over the bank edge and into the Cam. He plunges through the water and does not resurface. Kyle jumps in and tries to retrieve him before it is too late however he cannot see anything in the murky depths.

Later, Ben, Kyle, Katie, Craig & Isobel are enjoying a drink and discussing the case with Captain Jack Harkness in the Mermaid Wine Bar.
“….. And so we recovered Hogeson’s corpse and it will give us vital information as to the effects of the rift and the dark star. Well done Ben and to all of you in Operation Delta” Jack says, raising a glass and stroking Ben’s leg under the table.
“ Ere, do ya reckon there are others like who are out there affected the same way?” Kyle asks.Katie tuts:
“Oh as if we wouldn’t know if there were crazed serial killers rampaging through our towns. Try to utilise your brain before speaking!” she exclaims.Ben offers them all a fox’s glacier mint and sips his absinthe, letting the two flavours merge and permeate his mind with mellow contentment:
“I’d like to thank Isobel and Kyle in particular for their work in this case. Operation Delta will no doubt face greater challenges in our struggle to defend the earth and its good to know that I can rely on my team” Ben says.As he does so, Barry Tuck (played by Johnny Vegas) arrives to take the food order:
“Right, what grub do you ****ers want? Don’t bother with the quiche, it reeks like spew.” *canned audience laughter*
Ben is irritated:
“I understood from the manager that you no longer worked here Tuck!”
“Nah they took me back on pal. Shortstaffed. *notices Isobel* Hello love. Hows about you comin’ ome with me for a roll in the sack?”Isobel is alarmed and drops her silver coloured purse. She bends down to retrieve it:
“While yer down there love”
*canned audience laughter”.
Kyle gets up and approaches Tuck:
“Just take the orders like an stop offendin’ my mates or I’ll deck ya.”Ben is impressed:
“He’s good isn’t he” he whispers to Jack.
“Gorgeous ass. I’ll have to invite him for a training day at the hub” Jack replies winking.

After an evening in the bar they order a couple of taxis and return to Ben’s flat for a nightcap. Ben is rather worse for wear and has become maudlin as often happens after mixing his drinks:
“…. all I’ve ever wanted is a sstaple ….stable relationship with mutal loyalty.. And what I get?” he is saying in the taxi.
“Aw come on Ben, you’ve got Anselm now. This is just the drink talkin” Kyle tries to reassure him.After stopping the taxi several times to allow young Craig to be sick out the door they arrive back at Ben’s apartment. The other taxi with the girls arrives and they all go up. Ben instinctively fumbles for his key and unlocks the door, entering the apartment. As he does so he is shocked to see………..

………………. Anselm and Simon Sandringham locked in a passionate embrace kissing on the sofa……….…

……………THE END.


Gayson Zulu said...

The clown killer was a really crap villain, luckily the story gains a few points for the hilarious Barry Tuck scene!

sparacus said...

I'n sure Barry will be returning in future stories......