Saturday, 15 November 2008
The need for a beard tax in the UK
With the credit crunch really starting to bite, Gordon Brown is right to be trying to stimulate demand in the economy. However increased borrowing risks stoking up problems for the future and cannot continue indefinitely. The government needs to think of new strategies to increase revenue. I suggest that they start with a substantial tax on facial beards, maybe £100 a month or higher. Men with beards tend to be either ageing 1970s dinosaurs or pseudo-trendies with little well-groomed 'designer' beards. Both can well afford to pay more tax.
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3 comments:
How long must a beard be before it can be taxed?
Does designer stubble count? Do moustaches? Do goatees?
How long must the beard have been worn? A day? A week? A year? When does it begin to count as a beard?
Won't this be unfair on a) men (as women will be naturally exempt) and b) those religions which dictate that hair should not be cut?
Aren't you afraid you're going to piss off Brian Blessed? I wouldn't want an angry Brian Blessed on my case!
"How long must a beard be before it can be taxed?"
I'd say it must be beyond mere stubble.
"Does designer stubble count? Do moustaches? Do goatees?"
Stubble no. Goatees yes. I'd suggest a reduced rate for moustaches despite their hideous 1970s connotations.
"How long must the beard have been worn? A day? A week? A year? When does it begin to count as a beard?"
After a month.
"Won't this be unfair on a) men (as women will be naturally exempt) and b) those religions which dictate that hair should not be cut?"
Those religious groups will be excempt. As for women, well they are excempt.
"Aren't you afraid you're going to piss off Brian Blessed? I wouldn't want an angry Brian Blessed on my case!"
Brian is a successful actor and can no doubt well afford the tax. Mind you I wouldn't want him shouting through my letterbox.
FACIAL beard tax?!
What other beards are there?
...
On second thoughts, I'll shut up. Is this part of your long term plan to create a country of smoothe chests? First beards, then all body hair and then compulsory mastectomies, bleach remaining hair blond and then starve until you have ze Aryan Adam Rickitt zuperrace?
I much preferred Alan B'Stard's idea of no representation without taxation - no one HAS to pay taxes, as long as they're happy with no say of any kind in how the country is run.
But that was a very funny comedy making a satirical and historical comparison.
I've no idea what this is.
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