Sunday, 30 March 2008

"CRYSTAL" Part 4

Ok, here is the next part of this popular adventure folks:

“CRYSTAL”: Part 4


“Well?” Katie demands:
“Where can we get something to eat?”
One of the seated contemplators gestures to her and whispers:
“ The refectory should just be opening now. There is a full range of organic food and we bake our own bread. Its just out of the door and to the left.”
As Ben, Katie and Kyle start to leave, a blonde woman in her early 30s walks in and stops Ben in his tracks. She is emaciated and rather weak looking. He stares at her in horror:
“Ben?” she says in quiet surprise. Anger creeps over Ben’s face and he storms past her.
“Er sorry”, Kyle says to her and follows Ben:
“Ere Ben, she knows you? Why’d you ignore her?”
Ben ignores him and walks into the refectory. He orders some grilled chicken and roast vegetables and a bottle of white wine.

Later, they are sitting in silence, eating , with Ben clearly in a foul mood.
“Hey Ben, come on, whats up? That woman, was she an ex or something?” Kyle asks.
“Don’t ask stupid questions Kyle. Oh and mind your own damn business.”
Ben knocks back a glass of wine and pours another.
“I presume she is an ex then?” Katie exclaims, “I knew it! All this pretence of being queer is just a ruse to make yourself seem more intriguing.”
Ben stares into his glass of wine:
“Ok then. She’s not an ex, she’s my sister.”
Katie is confused:
“Your older sister? You told me you were an only child?”
“I lied. Look, you don’t understand the damage she did to our family. Always out every night doing drugs and sleeping with any guy who asked. She drove mum and dad crazy. Dad is a very traditional man and he had to watch his little girl turn into a lowbrow slut. In the end she left. She has tried to contact us a few times but I’ve just destroyed her letters. Probably asking for drug money.”
“But she’s your sister an all that. Don’t….”
“Oh shut up Kyle. Where you come from this kind of thing is probably normal , but it isn’t in our family….. Oh look, I’m sorry I didn’t mean that. But I don’t want to discuss this matter.”


Meanwhile, in Wales, the Doctor, Donna and the Torchwood team have entered the grounds of the retreat centre and are stealthily heading towards the building. The Doctor urges caution, however Jack and Owen are fully armed and ready to fire. As they approach the centre, two figures emerge from the building dressed in white robes:
“Hey, hold it there” Jack shouts “we mean you no harm. We need to see the people in charge here……”
However he no sooner finishes than an unseen, psychic force rips the gun from his hand and Owen’s as well. They find themselves surrounded by the robed figures……..


Back in London, the Supersave Supermarket in Camden is fairly busy with shoppers. Suddenly the sound of screaming erupts from one side of the store. A pack of dogs gas entered and they leap at customers, their teeth sinking into necks. The man behind the fish counter shouts in terror as a pitbull terrier leaps up and bites into him, the blood spattering into the ice keeping the fish cold………

.………. To be continued.


Cameron Mason said...

It's not popular - 89% of people voted it 1/5!

Once again the Doctor and Donna barely appear - heck, in their short paragraph it's Jack who speaks!

You didn't even mention Ben had a sister in his biography!

And to finish it off, your usual blood thirsty account of violence.

In short, this is your usual poor effort.


Youth of Australia said...

Why doesn't Ben's sister have a name?

Is it Benita Chatham? If so, she must be played by Britney Spears if she is to be taken seriously.

If you can steal my Chathamobile, you have to respect other parts of the canon too, you know.

Youth of Australia said...

C'mon man, not you again.

I deleted those comments from my blog for a REASON. The reason being you are psychotically deranged and violently disturbed.

We know you're not the real LBC and MLock, so pack it in.

Do us a favor, Spara, and get rid of this sadact.

Colin said...

Might be time to go back to "registered members only", and cut out all this rubbish...

Youth of Australia said...


Well, at least these time wasters aren't filling up MY blog with this crap.

Leonard Hatred said...

I've been reading these comments on Spara's & Youth's blogs for a while now. Obviously the early comments from "Lemon F**king Cola" were phoney, & some of the newer, less-"erotic" (for want of a MUCH better term) posts may not be the real deal either.

If you're a phoney LBC, then OK, I did admittedly have a chuckle to begin with, but the joke is wearing a trifle thin now. Same applies to the fake MLock, Lunarsea & anyone else I missed.

However, if any of these messages were posted by the REAL LBC, then I'm sorry, mate, but you REALLY need some help. I must say one or two of the comments have sounded EXACTLY like how you post at the DWF, so if it isn't really you, then one of the imposters has your style of writing down to a 'T'.

I guess the bottom line is, I'm confused by it all. And confusing Leonard is like shooting fish in a barrel! ;-)

MLock said...

"confusing Leonard is like shooting fish in a barrel!"
You said it, Len! :p

I can assure all readers and cotributors to the most popular blog on the internet that I am the legitimate MLock. I felt it high time that someone who ISN'T a "hilarious" imposter spoke some sense on these comments pages.

I can't speak for LBC, and I certainly can't speak for those crazy individuals who think they're being funny by impersonating him and myself, but I feel sure that, until now, neither one of us has ever actually been on these pages. I mean, didn't LBC say he wasn't using the internet at all for a while?

I think to at least have a shot in the dark as to who the joker(s) might be, we should do as all good bookmakers would, and look at the form guide:

Leonard Hatred/Brenda Pid has to up there as one of the odds-on favourites. Speaking from experience at the OG/DWF, this seems like his cup of tea and I know he and LBC have had words there in the past.

Johnstone, the angry young man of Myth Makers, is another prime candidate. The way he's virtually shouted at Spara rather unfortunately over the weeks and months, this could be his new way of letting off steam.

Miles Reid, Hashish Addict, Cameron Mason, Doc Filthy are all in the frame, simply for previous form in Sparathreads.

Another favourite for me is Youth Of Australia himself. By protesting both here and in his own blog about it could be a sneaky and clever way of deflecting any suspicions away from him. Eveyone knows that if anyone may feel the need to spend his day disrupting Spara's blog, it's a somewhat bitter former OG member like YOA with a grudge against Spara and a hatred of good fanfiction!

Before anyone else says it, yes, I concede that Sparacus himself COULD be an outside bet. But we all know that the man has far too much class to pretend to be me, LBC or anybody else for that matter, and I think I speak for all fans of Spara and Ben when I state that he would never resort to posting such filth as we have bore witness to in previous, now thankfully deleted, comments pages.

But I suppose "Suspect Everyone" is a sensible-enough cliche to take on board while this is happening. But that's my two-penneth on the matter, anyway. :)

Colin said...

Johnstone, the angry young man of Myth Makers, is another prime candidate. The way he's virtually shouted at Spara rather unfortunately over the weeks and months, this could be his new way of letting off steam."

I don't think this is the way Johnstone operates. if he wanted to have a go at Spara here, he'd be a *lot* more direct about it.

"Miles Reid, Hashish Addict, Cameron Mason, Doc Filthy are all in the frame, simply for previous form in Sparathreads."

...and, for my own part, if I was the one doing it, I'd hardly suggest changing to registered-user only, now would I? Credit me with a little bit of intelligence, please.

Leonard Hatred said...

Oh, I'm an odds-on favourite, am I, Lockie? I'm almost flattered!

Let's face it, it could be anyone, any NUMBER of people with even the mildest grudge against Spara & his wee fanbase.

I can see why you'd pick me as a likely candidate, & yes, free from the strict confines of the DWF I will admit that I can't stand Lemon Bloody Cola. He's a self-important drip with a chip on his shoulder who actually makes Spara seem more likeable. You, on the other hand, MLock, though I disagree with you vehemently regarding how "good" the Chathamverse actually is, I have no personal beef with you, or Lunarsea.

Or even Spara for that matter, aside from our now-blown over spat some weeks back that saw the temporary "SparaCull". But I do admit that Cola gets on my tits something chronic, hence why I can see your point of view.

I really can't add anything to your suspiscions regarding Johnstone, Colin etc, & as for YOA, I don't even know him well enough to hazard a guess as to whether this kind of thing is up his street. He's certainly been vocal about seeing the various LBC/MLock comments consigned to history. Whether, as you theorised, that's a clever bluff from the guy who's posting these messages, is something I assume YOA will address here himself when he gets the chance.

If you come to the conclusion that it IS me, then that's your call, I'm not arsed either way. None of us will probably ever know for sure. My only theory is that the obviously fake messages from you & LBC may have been posted by more than one person, as I've noticed subtle differences in the writing. But I could be wrong on that, I don't particularly care either way.

And if the real Lemon Bloody Cola IS posting here behind his girlfriends back: shame on you. Grow up, matey.

Johnstone said...

"Johnstone, the angry young man of Myth Makers, is another prime candidate. The way he's virtually shouted at Spara rather unfortunately over the weeks and months, this could be his new way of letting off steam."

I have never vertually "shouted at Spara" infact I'm curently keeping away from Sparafics as they're so crap they're not worth the time of day.

So whatever you're accusing me of you can drop it.

I bet it's MLock, he's realised that Spara is a crap writer but is too nice to say it himself, so he's done it this way. You're like a cowering child Mlock.

Ok, I've rebuttled the bollocks accusation against me and I've made an equally bollocks one. Can I go now?

Youth of Australia said...

Well, it's not me posting as "lemon bloody cola". And I wasn't posting as him on my own blog - if I was, why delete the comments from him?

Now, the comments from LBC (let us just settle with the fact I describe the person posting under that name for now) were, in a word, disturbing.

Not funny, not silly, not obviously a joke, but... wrong. Uncool. And he wasn't having a go at me, either, but telling me, in detail, about his personal life. Information I did not request.

So, LBC - genuine article or not - is, in my opinion, a creepy wierdo. Hence, if Mlock can be arsed to pull those cataract-ridden eyes upward, will see me telling Spara to delete these messages. Whether or not LBC is the same LBC from OG, I firmly believe giving him this much attention is a BAD IDEA.

If you want, MLock, I can post the entire conversation I had on my blog with LBC. I showed it Jared and Miles, who both agreed it was sick, twisted, and deserved to be deleted.

Until then, I have to say I see no proof that YOU are not to blame. Anyone who has a blogger ID will know you actually have to do some stuff to post as someone else (not a lot of work, but work nonetheless).

Mlock hasn't bothered to get one - assuming that Mlock IS Mlock and not LBC - and frankly, his pathetic jihad on myself demonstrates someone who believes people cannot have any facets to their personality. Surely the real Mlock has better things to do than waste his time here? Being a mindless argumentative crapwit with a stupid avatar, for example?

If Mlock wishes to stalk my online persona, he'll find I do other things than sit in the dark waiting for sparacus to do things.

Unlike him.

Youth of Australia said...


Don't look at me, I didn't type that.

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

Oh, I'm sure that protestation of innocence will do much to allay your guilt in the eyes of Mlock. Well, the real Mlock. If he exists.

Find it rich that Mlock (if it was the real Mlock) called you bitter. On your worst days you've never told anyone to "Fuck off" on OG, as he did simply to somebody with a different opinion. Would actually be quite relieved if he turned out to be utterly fictitious, as he's the most tedious and loathesome of the lot.

Youth of Australia said...

And as for that avatar... yuk!

Cameron Mason said...

'mlock' said:

Miles Reid, Hashish Addict, Cameron Mason, Doc Filthy are all in the frame, simply for previous form in Sparathreads.

Screw you mlock.

I have better things to do with my time than unfunny and pathetic impersonations of people.


Leonard Hatred said...

Well done, MLock.

How to make friends & influence people, eh?

Youth of Australia said...

Aren't you worried I'll use the incriminating evidence against you in regards to your girlfriend, LBC?

After all, if you are the same person and the genuine article, you'll know exactly what I'm on about...

Lemon Bloody Cola said...

And how do you propose ever seeking out my girlfriend, Mr. YOA?...

Methinks the Aussie is all mouth and no pantaloons...

Cameron Mason said...

'lemon bloody cola' said:

Methinks the Aussie is all mouth and no pantaloons...

Don't speak too soon...


Lemon Bloody Cola said...

I am not intimidated by idle threats. If Ben Chatham has taught us anything, it's that we should be what we want to be without living in fear of reprisal.

Miles Reid said...

Don't look at me, I'm doing more worthwhile things with my time.

Leonard Hatred said...

Who the hell is trying to "intimidate" you, Cola?

You really are an utter creep. Please go away forever, & actually MEAN it this time.

Youth of Australia said...

And how do you propose ever seeking out my girlfriend, Mr. YOA?...
Well, you told me her name, for a start. That does, as they say, make things less complicated...

Methinks the Aussie is all mouth and no pantaloons...
Whereas you have niether, a man sans trousers doesn't make idle threats. Not in this weather, anyway...

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

Argh, you fools! STOP VOTING FOR B7! He's only going to destroy the characters!!

Do you want to see
*Tarrant falling in love with Ben?
*Avon being impressed with his genius?
*Vila being a comedy cockney moron who Kyle befriends?
*Soolin becoming another 'feisty' airhead who cat-fights with Katie?
*Dayna and Orac doing absolutely nothing?

Because that is the best case scenario!!! LISTEN TO REASON, PEOPLE!

I would, honest to God, rather see Sparacus attempt a Hornblower Doctor-and-Bush are the same person crossover than go anywhere near Blake's 7...

(Just made it a certainty now, haven't I?)

Youth of Australia said...

Well, I haven't voted. And if I DID vote, it would be for Tomorrow People, to see Spara make a complete balls up of the idea he STOLE from Miles Reid.

The OG forum records will prove what I say.

Besides, Spara will never tackle B7. Only decent writers can do that and, as you say, to mess up the characters to that degree, will invite Marian de Haan down on his scaly Atlantean ass...

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

Oh YES - if Spara goes through with it, first course of action is to give Marian deHaan the link! Could almost make it bearable...

Leonard Hatred said...

I voted for Neighbours. I have no idea why.

Youth of Australia said...

Spara, if you think I get het up over plot holes, wait until de Haan sinks her teeth into your throat...

I'd already be running, if I were you...

Baroque said...

Jeepers. I've been following the latest additions to Sparacus' oeuvre through Google Reader, so I hadn't seen the increasingly bizarre nature of the comments section here. Apparently I'm not missing much. Such a shame. This should be a place of celebration!