Sunday 2 March 2008

The Ghosts of Weatherfield: Part 5 - the Conclusion

OK, here is the BLOG EXCLUSIVE concluding part of this story folks:

The figure of Derek Wilton steps out of the Kabin, its ghostly eyes vacant and cold. Suddenly beams of light emenate out and shoot towards Ben and Katie. They duck down as the light shoots over them and into a nearby parked car, turning it into a fiery furnace. The figure of Derek slowly vanishes.
"Thats two fires that this entity has caused. Its energy level is getting stronger. If the Doctor is correct then we can't be far from the apex manifestation" Ben observes.
"Then we must find out where this Richard Hillman bloke lived," Katie replies, "you know the serial killer and likely apex."
Ben calls over Norris, who is helping Rita back into the shop:
"Er, this Hillman bloke. Can you tell us where he used to live?" Ben asks.
"Yes over there *pointing* at Gail Platt's."

Ben and Katie knock on the door of the Platt house. David Platt , Gail's teenage son, answers the door:
"Oh hi Nick *shouting to Gail* 'mum, Nick's arrived."
Ben is confused:
"I'm sorry but there is some mistake. My name is Ben Chatham. THE Ben Chatham."
Gail arrives and stops in her tracks staring at Ben.
"Oh David this isn't Nick *staring at Ben* you do look like my other son Nick though. He's on his way home from Canada to visit us."
"Never mind all this," Katie intercedes, "We understand from Norris that you used to have Richard Hillman, the serial killer living here. We are investigating these ghost manifestations and you are in grave danger."
Gail is angry:
"I don't see what business of yours ......."
Before she can finish David starts shouting and runs out of the house. Turning round, Gail sees the ghostly figure of Richard Hillman, carrying a bloodstained axe.
Gail screams and Ben shouts 'Run'.

They rush across the street as Hillman strides out of the house:
"And now at last it is time to FEED" it says. Throwing its head back, bolts of light shoot out from all directions, setting fire to several houses. However the Doctor arrives just in time with Donna, carrying some equipment connected to a metallic fireing device.
"Ben, Ben. Hold onto this and point it at the entity. When I say 'now' pull the green lever."
Ben points it at the Hillman apex while the Doctor moves some dials on the oblong box he's been carrying:
"Ok, NOW...."
Ben points the device at the entity and a bolt of green energy dissipation catalyst ions shoot out at Hillman. The figure is bathed in a green glow and screams in an unnerving agonised way. Slowly the figure dissolves.......

Later that evening, The Doctor, Ben, Donna and Katie are enjoying some wine in the Rovers Return.
"Mmmm this wine tastes OK to me" Donna is saying , "Well done Ben by the way"
*they all clink glasses and toast Ben.*
Ben smiles in his seductive, radiant way:
"Thanks everyone. Although I disagree on this wine. No doubt these people have never tasted a 1963 Chateau de Combaire red."
As he speaks a young man enters the pub with Gail Platt and walks up to the bar. Donna nudges the Doctor:
"Hey, don't you think he looks like Ben?"
"He DOES" the Doctor replies, grinning widely."
Ben gets up and approaches the new arrival:
"Hi, I'm Ben Chatham. You must be Nick, I heard you look like me, Can I get you a drink?"
"Oh thanks, I'll have a vodka and lime. Pleased to meet you Ben *they shake hands*."
In the background, the Rovers music system plays "I Breathe Again".........


......... the END


However :
The Doctor
Donna,
Ben,
Katie and.....
Kyle

will return soon in:

"CRYSTAL"

13 comments:

Youth of Australia said...

I am really, REALLY tired, so I can't review this except...

Wasn't AR/Nick whatever thrown out of Corrie years ago? So him walking into the pub just AFTER the story is over where BC just HAPPENS to be is ridiculous.

You could have got a decent doppleganger plot out of this. Like the Massacre, which seems appropriate nowadays what with unjust executions and persecution...

And the monster defeat was too quick.

Bernie Fishnotes said...

So the Doctor just gets a machine which shoots the monster, then they go for a drink?

Could have been better, for example some of the nicer people who died in Corrie (and since when was Derek Wilton violent? and what about Jez Quigley? we was a really nasty piece of work!) manifesting and, with help from the living inhabitants of the street, forcing it out through positive emotions?

Your way is quicker though, if less pleasing to read. Shame realy, it started so well too...

Youth of Australia said...

Cheer up, he's plagiarizing Planet of Spiders next...

Cameron Mason said...

That was terrible.

The Doctor solves the mystery and builds the device to stop it (off camera of course) and Ben gets all the thanks???

Oh, and unless you are all-seeing and all-knowing you are not 'telling it like it is'; you are merely giving your perspective on things.

Cameron

Scyther Slitheen said...

Hmm... a little dissapointing.

The ghosts were great, there were some nice sceans with Richard Hillman though why is he carrying a blood stained axe? He didnt kill anyone with a axe, whould have been more affective if he was carrying a crowbar or shuvel.

There are some down points though, the dialog sounds a bit wooden. More info on the ghost could have been good to, and what about all the people who saw the ghosts, how is The Doctor going to explain that!

Ben meeting his look alike was intresting though could have been done much better.

Though the thing I really dont like about this is the fact they end up praising Ben! All he did was pull a lever, It should be The Doctor who gets the praise from Ben, remember its Ben who is the companion.

Theres also way too many sceans with him in, The Doctor and Donna are in hardly any sceans and Donna has done hardly anything! Start uesing her more, she is a fantastic companion you know :)

All in all, not your best yet (Whould have been if you didnt add that bruing children scean) but better then norrmall :)

sparacus said...

"Though the thing I really dont like about this is the fact they end up praising Ben! All he did was pull a lever, It should be The Doctor who gets the praise from Ben, remember its Ben who is the companion."

Ben also did the research which identified Hillman as the apex manifestation and he also located the house where this would happen.

sparacus said...

"Cheer up, he's plagiarizing Planet of Spiders next..."

It will be a sequel not a rip-off

Youth of Australia said...

There's nothing to sequel in Planet. The Spiders are dead, all the crystals are gone, its 2009 so there's no point bringing back any of the characters on Earth (plus you already used Mike Yates), the characters on Metebelis 3 weren't interesting enough at the time, and the main characters have changed a bit since then. You can't even have K'Anpo, since he's dead in the Time War.

So what, exactly, is going to run the story for a sequel?

"Ben also did the research which identified Hillman as the apex manifestation and he also located the house where this would happen."

He asked a passer by and knocked on the door. Not even Adric would expect a toast for doing so brain-twistingly obvious. Ben seems to expect acolades just for getting out of bed in the morning...

Scyther Slitheen said...

"Ben also did the research which identified Hillman as the apex manifestation and he also located the house where this would happen."

I gusse, but I still think critet should have been given to The Doctor, the man who actully defeted the villiean.

I dont like the fact your basicly make Ben out to be more of a hero then The Doctor, which is utter bull. This is ment to be a DW spical, my advice is to have The Doctor in it much more then Ben, he is the main charter you know :)

sparacus said...

"I dont like the fact your basicly make Ben out to be more of a hero then The Doctor, which is utter bull. This is ment to be a DW spical, my advice is to have The Doctor in it much more then Ben, he is the main charter you know "

The Doctor chooses his companions carefully by and large. In Ben's case he knows that he can delegate tasks with confidence.

Scyther Slitheen said...

"The Doctor chooses his companions carefully by and large. In Ben's case he knows that he can delegate tasks with confidence."

IMO, The Doctor whould NEVER chosse Ben as a companion.

Ben is selfish, insesistive, un cearing, mean, has signs of being an alciholic, dosent like people if they havent got a deggre and a snob who has no seanse of fun or manners. The Doctor whould never chose someone like him as a companion.

Anonymous said...

A load of guff, I am afraid. It started out well. No, actually it started badly, got worse and then transformed itself into a vat of dung. Your best yet. Which is not saying much. Ah cha cha!

Youth of Australia said...

The Doctor chooses his companions carefully by and large. In Ben's case he knows that he can delegate tasks with confidence.
Well, at least you don't suggest he likes Ben as a person. That would be COMPLETELY unbelievable...

Besides, Ben almost always delegates tasks to Kyle, K9, Torchwood, OD or UNIT. Further proof the guy can't take the pace.